This girl and I definitely have an attraction with each other. But, we have both been honest upfront with each other as well with me being recently divorced and her recently starting seeing a guy. I asked her flat out if she has feelings for me, and she said yes, but she said she is going to see where it goes with this other guy. I should mention that they were on a break when we first went out and neither one of us expected to be making out after first hanging out. She said she would still like to hang out only for now it will have to be in a different way and not do "couple" things. I was about to tell her I think it's a terrible idea because I have feelings for her and I can't just turn them off. Undoubtedly if we hung out and drank at all we'd end up making out again. So that brings me to my main question. Should I do that knowing what will happen and try to pull her away from the other guy, or do I take the high road and give her space to see where her relationship with that guy will go? I don't see how in the world we could just be friends after what has already happened. I do have a tremendous amount of respect for this girl, but I know the other guy is not right for her. He still lives with his ex and they are "figuring stuff out" right now. I am generally a good guy, but I also have no problem going after what I want. It would be pretty selfish for me to purposely try and wreck their relationship for my own personal gain, but isn't this all about survival of the fittest? I would like some opinions on what people think. Thanks!
I've gone out with a girl a couple times. Both times we ended up making out. The timing on it is horribly wrong though. What should I do?
What Girls Said 1
What Guys Said 2
I completely feel your situation. I'm going to have to suggest that you give her space. I am currently in the same situation. Nothing you say to her will win her over. It just won't. She is going to have to see that it won't work out with this other guy. But completely pulling away isn't going to do any good either. Keep hanging out, keep talking to her, and don't let her forget who she is giving up. Be yourself and go with the flow. If you end up making out, just go with it. It will remind her that she likes you. But at the same time don't press. If she starts saying no, you might be in trouble. I'm not saying it won't be difficult to watch. It will likely seem easier to just let her go and move on. If you like her, don't. Stick with it and it will work out in the end.1
Take the high road and give her space, especially since the timing isn't ideal for you right now. But get your own stuff sorted, so that the timing is better. Then keep an eye on the situation because it sounds like it's going to fall apart all on its own. And when it does, swoop in.1
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