Does e-harmony sucks balls or what? It is so depressing?

I suscribed for 3 months and I had been sending questions non-stop and out of 100 I think I got 2 answers. They both were girls I liked, and I answered their questions, but then I never heard back from then. It says that it is their turn and that I should wait for their response. But what response? I didn't even ask any questions or anything, and it doesn't let me message or anything, it is so weird. Of course I never heard back from then. I'm a guy and as a guy I have patient to keep replying and all that stuff, but as a girl I imagine they don't have the patiente to be playing those games, I mean they are girls, they have options, guys hit on girls all the time, I don't care for the subscription since is not expensive but it is frustrating not to be able to get ahead with anyone, no even to the end of the line. What were they thinking when they designed this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, e-harmony is very dry and depressing. I signed up 3 years ago, hoping to easily find someone who's compatible with me. But before I could do anything, the site hit me with like 100 questions at a time. There weren't many people online from my local area and I didn't like the layout of the site.
    I left match. com 2 months ago, and joined another site which is complete trash so I might end up getting back on match. com. I dunno. If you feel like it's depressing and you are wasting your money, end your subscription and try a more fun and lively site.

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    • How is match. com? Did you went on dates?

    • Match is pretty good. Yea, I have. Try it out. You might like it. :)

What Girls Said 1

  • my granpa actually met his current wife on e harmony haha and my step brothers mom found her husband on e harmony too... i know it took several months so maybe just keep trying? not sure what else you could do

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What Guys Said 7

  • Interesting feedback. I was one of those guys who spent a good three hours filling out their questionnaire/survey a few years back only to be told "I'm sorry, we have no matches for you." Don't know how I somehow still had an account after that when I come back to see the same damn thing written on the page. I guess I wasn't good enough for the selection on that site.

    Someone mentioned Match. com. I have had a few dates from there, but it's like any other dating site you might go on. You'll get interest from people when you initially sign up, or during certain times of the year (new years, Valentine's for example). But the quality of people in my area was far better than what I got on POF or OKCupid.

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  • they boast how successful they are compared to every other online dating website so they must be good for something but that still isn't a guarantee I guess lol. but with any online dating site its a numbers game. you gotta try for 25 to get 1

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    • I think they are good at marketing, that's it, site sucks, it is expected to get low numbers for a guy, but they worse the odds by a lot more

  • My mom met my step-dad on there. I think it's better suited for older people (and insecure girls who need the ego boosts). You're young enough to be approaching girls in the real world.

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  • I was on there a few years back, I live in a small city, 100000. I set my distance for something like 100 miles. Not a single match, it encouraged me to expand my radius. So apparently there were no matches until 1000 mile mark. I changed it back to 100 and waited and waited. It would give me a match like every two or three weeks. Most I found unattractive. It was a huge joke, never pay for a dating site.

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    • Funny, yeah around 2006 or 2007 I did subscribed and the same thing happened to me, not a single match, I was living on a different State tho, now that I'm in Cali, I don't know if it is because the State or because they just improved that part of the site after many years but I do get many matches, I would say from the matches about 10% are ok, but now they have a new thing called "what if" where about 75% of those are good. It is so weird i don't understand how that works, but thathow it is nowadays.

  • Online dating is a losing number game for guys.

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    • i think is the site, it is designed againts us

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    • I understand but let's take this scenario. You go to a bar. There are 100 girls there. Of them let's just say 50% are single. So 50 single girls. There are 200 guys there. Of that 200, 100 are single, 25 are too drunk or scared to approach women so you have 75 guys to 50 single girls that could potentially hook up.

      Switch that to online dating. Same 50 women, but NOW there's 1000 guys. ALL 1000 guys are at least willing to take some shot because the keyboard makes them brave, and they have money on the line (in the case of eharmony). So now a girl has a TON more options. Where she might go for a 5-6 in a bar, now she'll only talk to those she sees as a 7-8. She was only a 6 in the bar, but the mass of attention makes her think she's an 8.

    • dude in the bar girls get hit a lot too, specially 6s who feel more approachable, and they get hit by good looking guys too, those who feel confident enough to have a shot, plus most of them would go for easy targets (in their mind), 6s or 7s, so those 6s and 7s do feel like 8s and even 9s in real life too, what i really think is retarded in e-harmony is the setup, i think they did have something with the first step to break the ice, but something is worng with the 2nd step, they are holding guys down

  • It's online dating, did you expect much? :O

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    • i think is the way the site is designed

  • It's online dating- notorious for commercials and studies talking about how it's the "new way", but the reality of it is much different. Online dating is a pretty bad way to go about meeting people, and it isn't going to replace "the old fashioned way" of meeting people in person.

    It might be depressing for you because you're relying on it so heavily. I can only comment about friends that have used online dating, but they seem to lack any ability to meet people in person or they get spoiled by the ease of setting up a dating profile. On top of internet dating being chalked full of crazies to begin with, this reliance seems to inevitably kill any kind of practice and/or enjoyment people experience when they meet and get to know each other in person. You just can't be personable through a computer screen and a chat/message window. Online dating gives you the benefit of easily finding a lot of people in your area, but most people don't realize that it strips away most everything else that goes along with properly getting to know someone.

    And lastly, the fact that you or other people are on a dating site to begin with seems to point to people really trying to force the fact that they can't be alone and need someone to be with them. I've never really understood when people are looking for a relationship. It's not a job position that you can search and apply for, it's chemistry with someone else that you're actively (and sometimes desperately) trying to seek and force to happen. It is very easy to live your life like normal and still be open to having a relationship with someone. When you make it an overt goal to achieve, then it becomes like work and becomes very unnatural.

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    • You are missing the point, the sites are ment to get people together face to face, so they can start meeting each other that way. What you are describing is people that actually date on the internet through chat and pictures, that's very rare and yeah it dounds depressing. But the majority of people just want to go on dates to meet new potential partners until one is found.

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    • The one is not someone you seek for, is someone you find after yo feel ready to have one. Online dating could help do that, but honestly e-harmony setup is dumb as hell, if it is the ultimate example of what you are describing as dumb

    • I don't think we're going to be on the same page with what I'm trying to describe here, so have a good day lol

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