My friend Jennifer is dating a married man who has 2 kids?

so what I do I do? I told her if she continues to do this, God will punish her. She doesn't believe me because she's an atheist, but when it HAPPENS she will have no choice but to believe me. I even received a word to speak to her, when I opened the bible.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Even if she doesn't care about God she should care about the man's wife and his 2 kids. I would focus on that because she is disrespecting the other woman and hurting her and her 2 kids by contributing to the destruction of their family. You need to move away from the more abstract concepts of religion and focus on the very here and now practical detriments caused by her behavior.

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What Guys Said 8

  • You are flogging a dead horse, bashing the bible at an atheist is as pointless as me bashing a book on Darwin at you.

    She needs to see what she is doing is wrong by the nature of the consequences not in a threat of pixies and fairydust way (no offence) but in pure hard human nature and that is she is a homewrecker, she is a disgrace to herself and should be ashamed of herself because she may not share your spiritual beliefs but as an atheist myself she is without morals and she doesn't have to fear god, but she must fear the wife when she finds out and hunts her down and she will, and it never ends good, seen it a thousand times and not once does a happy ending happen because a cheater always slips up somewhere and overall morals and conscience play a part and can cause stress through guilt.

    If she continues then remember that if you know the wife of this chap it means you too are keeping this information from her and are now involved in the situation like it or not.

    I would say "if you don't do the right thing here I will do because I don't want it hanging over my head!"

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  • Anything you say about God does not matter to her so don't mention anything about Christianity to her. Just tell her "what goes around comes around." Tell her that eventually the wife will find out and the wife may not be very nice to her. Eventually the husband will also dump her, because what man will commit to his mistress if he won't even commit to his wife?

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  • I'm an atheist so I wouldn't be concerned about "God" but in my opinion she is doing harm to this family and she should ask herself if she would want her father dating a girl besides her mother and think of what she's doin to the family and the kids.

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    • In addition maybe you should realize people do evil or good regardless of what they bleive, infact relgious people throughout history have plenty of blood on their hands as do many atheists. People need an internal moral compass isntead of one they derive by reading a book that is 1) made up 2) full of contradcitions and destructive teachings, Bible has good to offer but don't swallow the whole pill.

  • Trust me, God is the least of her worries at this point.

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  • LOL, are you for real? God will punish her? hahhahahaha.

    the bible was written by men, crazy men, there is not much truth in it.. she will not go to hell, god is not going to judge her.. the only person judging her is YOU!

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  • ur friend Jen iz a full-fledged idiot. Let's hope she wises up and realizes she's being used. Too many single guys out there for her to be dating a philandering SOB... Idiot!

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  • a hard answer..just show her reality that they don't have any future with him...

    if then she disagree with you... LEAVE HER after intimation

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  • Some girls like to be man-snatchers, famous example is Angelina taking Brad Pitt. May be it gives them extra kick or whatever!

    Why does it worry you a lot? You have tried helping her out and telling her the right thing to do, now you did your part!

    How much is the age difference between them? Haven't she dated guys her age? Did she recently break-up? Has she been dating older guys in the past too?

    I am trying to understand her motivation for getting into this relationship because understanding the problem may enable you to find an effective way to approach her!

    What if they have fallen in true love? :-) I would say the guy should take a stand and make a decision to straighten his life.

    And Guys, why do you fall for these extra-marital flings? What's so enticing about it?

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    • She likes to play with people's hearts and she likes to feel powerful... She uses men to give herself an ego boost. Like there was this guy who liked her before and she led him on pretending she was interested in him because she wanted him to chase after her. That p*sses me off.

What Girls Said 8

  • ok. I'm Christian but I'm not a hardcore Christian who goes to church every Sunday, I go when I have time. I have 2 jobs ok , the point is

    yeah it's wrong. yeah, it sucks to be those kids. yeah, that guy should pay more attention to his family and have you told her that what she's doing is she's hurting a family?

    yeah it's not decent of her. but I wouldn't use weird metaphores to induce her not to do what she is doing.

    there's really nothing you can do. have you tried talking to the family and saying this is happening? if his wife has any sense, maybe she can find a better man and dump his sorry ass. there's really nothing you can do to change jennifer.

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  • ummm... I'm fairly religious, but I know that telling an atheist that God's gonna get them if they don't stop isn't going to help you much. she has set beliefs and you telling her that her soul's gonna be condemned isn't threatening at all since she doesn't believe in a higher being.

    you could just tell her it's really skanky to get involved with a married man and that she should have more respect for herself, his marriage, and lives of his children. her behavior is that of a whore's. she needs to stop for the sake of herself, if not God. I think it's pathetic to get involved with someone who's taken. why can't you find your own man?

    besides, if she falls for this guy, does she think he's gonna leave his family for her? and if he does, isn't she scared that if they get married and have kids, he'll do the same cheating thing to her? she needs to think of her worth and morals here.

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  • Though a Christian, I think you have to have other reasons to present to her than that. As an atheist, you might as well be telling her that Santa Claus is going to give her a lump of coal.

    Though I would tell her it's interesting that she has no faith in a higher power but has all the faith in the world that this man is actually worth being with. A guy who would date her when he has 2 kids and a wife. Does she think this man is going to treat her any better?

    Tell her that her life story has been lived by many women and it never works out. I know how it feels to like a guy who's taken (though not married) but she should have more respect for herself and his wife to not be sleeping with him because he's treating both of you like garbage.

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  • ...It is not going to do a thing for you to tell an atheist that God is going to punish them because they simply don't believe in Him. It would be like for someone to tell you "If you're bad this year, santa isn't going to give you any presents" because that statement is like air to you; you simply don't believe in santa, and this is her case with God. Try to tell her in a non-religious way, like sit her down and explain how it is disrespectful to the man's family and herself for putting herself in second place like that when she should be first place with someone else.

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    • I am whole heartedly in agreement with Snickers Bar. Bringing up the bearded Man who live in the sky won't do a thing to her if she does not believe in him.

  • Maybe try approaching her in a manner that she can relate to. Avoid trying to bring up god, as you said she is an atheist. try explaining to her how she would feel if she was this man's wife, and those were his kids. Even if she believes he might leave his wife for her, there is no guarantee he'll stick around with her either, or that he will ever leave his wife in the first place. try relating to her point of view more.. maybe that could help. Although sometimes no amount of explaining can work, be prepared for that as well.. but by all means don't give up.

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  • You supposed to be a friend. not a precher, its important to do the word of God but if I was ur friend id rather you talk to me as a friend.

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  • Ok by no means am I trying to judge your religion but I don't believe that God punishes anyone. I believe the decisions that people make are what punishes them. God already knew what was going to happen.

    No matter how much you try to talk to her she is not going to listen so the best thing to do is to sit back and let your friend learn the hard way.

    I do give you my thoughts and prayers though because if I was you, I would be worried about my friend too. If nothing else, pray to God about the situation.

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  • Approach her in a way she can relate!

    or..

    Tell/show her a story about someone who did this and got hurt in the end!

    My suggestion is to look up a movie, book, a story on the internet, or a TV show! A movie I can think of is "Unfaithful," it was about a wife that was unfaithful and how it was hurting her and later showed how much she hurt her family! It would be good for her to see or read the plot line because it would show her how she is possibly affecting the man!

    If she loves the man, tell her that she is hurting him by hurting his family and that she should let him go! Tell her to imagine if her mother or father did this, how would she feel?

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