"I get free-----" What would you do?

So I'll keep it short and sweet.

My boyfriend loves to post to several online forums. Some of them, the guys on there can be pretty raunchy. Seeing that im insecure and i know it (needlessly he's the love of my life i plan to marry him), I monitor his postings. Is it right? no. Do I still do it? Unfortunately... yes.

He said, "I know a girl thats on the backpages, she's a stripper and escort, i get free drinks and blow jobs from time to time"

Men on there have been known to joke and exaggerate like that... but i can't help but feel scared to know if its true or not.

Should i ask? Confront him? Im not ashamed to admit I look at the stuff, not proud of myself but i need to know.

  • Yes, you have to
    67% (4)67% (4)67% (8)Vote
  • No, its nothing
    33% (2)33% (2)33% (4)Vote
  • Mzcoco is untrusting for looking gimme results.
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a little tricky. If you do nothing you can only trust in who you fell for and brush this off as a joke of sorts. If you confront and ask him most likely he going to say its not true and you'll just have to trust that too (but doubts may arise too, how do you prove you're not a cheat?)

    Asking now I believe will only aggravate him, I would be annoyed myself. However you two are separate people (to me) and because you love each other he might understand you insecurities and be more sensitive. To be honest MzCoco on here you seem like a really good partner and because of that I feel like your OH was most likely joking or exaggerating.

    I say because its on your mind ask, its better that just wondering, but no worries it probably fine :)

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    • Thanks hiphopkidUK :)

      I still don't know whether I will bring this up with him. He is the love of my life I've spent four years with him, I want to grow old with him, have kids, get married. The whole shot.
      And because of that, my insecurities aren't rooted in jealousy, but rather fear of losing everything. I've invested everything I have into this relationship and I've never loved anyone even comparably to the way I love him. It has been amazing so far, we are really meant for each other. But things like this just make me worry.

      I dont want to damage our relationship by bringing it up, but it's really messing with my head.

    • I understand what you're saying and it is worth taking time to decide what you want to do. Just dont let this worrying last long term and stay silent, that could amount to more problems.

    • I decided to approach the subject with him. We had a long talk and he explained to me that it's just a source of entertainment for him to post like that online. Assured me that it wasn't true at all, the person referenced was real but not the encounters, showed me his account made all efforts to be forthcoming and honest.

      I asked him to not write things like that anymore, I'm fine with the posting on forums (obviously look at what I'm on now) but crap like that is unnecessary.

      Point being we worked it out. We both were being stupid and we are going to move on, take the lesson learned.

      Thanks for the help :)

What Guys Said 3

  • Depends on how far along you are in the relationship. If you are in the commitment stage of it, Then yes, I would confront him. If his heart is loyal to YOU, He would not be doing what he is. How is this. Ask him what he would think if he were to see you talking about giving blow jobs to strange guys all the time? Put the shoes on his feet and see what he thinks of that!

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    • I agree, it's been four years together I don't understand why he would need the attention from people online about something so shady and dirty too.

    • Yeah, I would distance yourself from that entirely.

  • If you are that worried, then ask him. It shouldn't be a problem to ask. We all have different levels of understanding humor. If a girl I dated told me something similar as to what he told you, I would have been little uncomfortable as well…unless it was an obvious joke. Then again, jokes that seem obvious can turn out to be truth.

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    • He didn't tell me directly, I spied on his online affiliations.
      It won't be a problem to ask but i don't want to damage our relationship by making him think I'm paranoid or always suspicious. I don't like being that woman and I won't be that overbearing mistrusting girl.
      I'm worried but in general I do trust him. This is just so out of nowhere. We've been together over 4 years.

  • Do you actually think he could be cheating on you?

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    • He's capable of it. I know he really truly loves me though, but when he says things like that I can't help but question things. He knows a lot of scandalous women.

What Girls Said 2

  • Whether he's joking about or serious about it, he has no need to disrespect you
    by saying that.

    You are giving him an excuse when you create one for him.
    'Perhaps its a joke'
    If he hears you say that, he will say the same and easily be able to get away with what he has done
    if it is true.

    I don't know how wasting hundreds of dollars, bragging about someone that is more at risk for std, is something worth bragging about.
    I think it's pathetic.
    Can't pull a girl to save your life?

    I definitely think u should confront him.

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    • I won't say "was it a joke", I'm just thinking out loud on GaG but thank you for that I appreciate it. I agree, I think it's pathetic as well. Absolutely ridiculous.

      That wasn't the situation. I don't believe he knew at first that she was a whore when he met her, but he did eventually find out. He is a gorgeous man he can pull almost any woman if he wanted to. He isn't the type of guy to be arrogant, cocky and braggadocios like that, truly he's genuine, endearing and kind... but I think when in a group of men he starts saying stupid stupid stuff like that. Which is no excuse.

      We all have a past but it concerns me that he used the present tense when writing that.

    • I really think you should question him.
      You can know someone for 20 years and still not know who they really are.

  • Wow yes, you need to confront him. You fucked up by invading his privacy, but if he's actually cheating on you with a prostitute (and bragging about it) he is an actual piece of shit that needs to be dumped. If you don't confront him you'll be thinking about it constantly and it could eventually become resentment.

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    • I did invade his privacy and I can never be more sorry for that. Finding things though is not reassuring at all. I don't know if he's cheating now, I know the girl he's referencing. She was a mutual acquaintance from about 3 years ago. I just sincerely hope he still doesn't contact her, because if so that will not be tolerated.

    • Even if was lying, he's a jerk for saying it.

    • Totally agree

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