Can a 21 year old and a 30 year old date? I mean I was made to grow up so quick so I've experienced too much for my age, he's older but wants to live?

We get tons of weird looks, im 21, im a business owner, a bartender, full time student, take care of my family (no kids, i mean relatives), i pay bills, still act my age when im relaxing but im always told im very mature for my age that its weird. He is 33, isn't immature but never enjoyed his young days due to how tough his life was as a kid so we meet in the middle? but can it actually work?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh sure. Yes, definitely. If you have enough in common and are interested in one another then absolutely! I'm about to be 30 tomorrow (Jesus...) and I know some 20-year-old women I'd gladly give a shot. You just have to work out the different priorities you may have but if you can iron that out you absolutely have a chance. If you like this cat, go for it. There is no reason to say this is impossible. Now if you were 18 then I'd say no go. But you're not. You're 21. Still pretty young but undeniably an adult. You have every reason to give this a shot. I hope it works out.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I see nothing wrong with that. My grandparents were 17 years apart. They were married for 53 years before they passed away. Now a days you see people divorcing left and right with their -7 + 7 rule (which is retarded). My parents were 5 years apart and they got divorced.

    As long as you both understand each others maturity level and are happy in eachother's company. It does not matter what society thinks.

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    • good, i just dont believe in divorce and honestly i feel like people in my generation are now so fucked up in the head and have their priorities all wrong!

    • Indeed. I hope this works out well for you.

  • I'm 34 and my girlfriend's 25, so... yeah.

    It's sometimes weird when we don't quite click on childhood things, but for the most part, we relate to each other pretty well.

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  • Independent to what other people think, I recommend you to be extremely careful, a dear friend of mine had her first relationship with a much older guy than her and the guy really scarred her emotionally and it has affected her a lot, probably for the rest of her life.
    She was hurt really bad and now she can't love without fear of being hurt like that again.
    I dont know how mature you are but please just take time to really know this guy, get in his circle of friends and family, even working place, assure yourself he is not a dirtbag before going further.

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  • seems reasonable to me

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  • It can work if you're mature and hasn't experienced as much as most 33 year olds have. Go for it👍

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  • I simply can't believe views like the first one. We have a 50% divorce rate and views like this just shows the the lack of knowledge today. The average age gap between husband and wife in my family is over 13 years. That's the average. There has never been one divorce ever in my family tree. Not even close. 124/124. I've never even heard of a divorce between someone with that age gap and it's both their first marriage. It works because there's no competition between husband a wife. You still need to have things in common, but you won't have to worry about him being jealous of you. It just works naturally. Don't at all worry about the naysayers and those who have no idea about who you are. Be yourself and you'll find a relationship like the one you have much better for you.

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    • see i probably should tell his life or mine lol but i went through bad things that made me grow up too fast and experience everything, even more than anyone ever should. so im 21 and have my life together. he is 33, he has his life together, downside is that he never had time to live and enjoy due to him as a child working all his life to support family that neglected him in a way. I had all the fun i needed and he didnt. he have different age obvi. but because of our experiences with our past relationships, which happened to be the same situations lol, we meet in the middle in everything which makes us understand each other better than anyone else... ever. downfall to this is that he is a bit insecure due to a past marriage of his that his ex wife is psycho... lol and he's always been cheated on, as have i. but i we both fee like everything with us is like "the first time". its scary i admit but we both have so much faith in us. lol im a pisces, he's a leo. we balnce each other out.

    • It sounds like he's a perfect match. Good luck with it. And don't at all worry about anybody else.

  • Sounds normal...

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What Girls Said 4

  • I'm 22 and have dated or gone on dates with a 40, 30, 33, and 32 year old within the last year and a half. It didn't work out for lots of reasons, but I don't think age was one of them as I still talk to 2 of them. Obviously I don't think it's odd lol but I know my friends and other people thought it was weird.

    I think it could work out for you guys. There will be differences and challenges, but nothing I don't think that can't work. People will always judge you or have an opinion so do what makes you happy.

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    • very true, we tend to get weird ass looks at times and they dont know me but when i was away his friends are like " isn't she too young for you, very immature still" but when i talk to them and share how my life is already put together and basically shut them up, they have nothing to say lol. there's a lot to say ready my comment on the guy with name malwise. it'll explain. thanks for the support. it feels so good.

  • Yes, as long as the two of you are on the sames level of maturity and have the same plans (when you both wants kids, marriage, etc). Make sure the relationship and connection is real and he isn't just using you for arm candy. You two should be fine. Fuck the looks you get.

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  • Sometimes it work. But I think you shoul find a person withing the 1 to 5 years time frame. Then you two can have fun together. If he is matured, he cannot get on with your friends easily and cannot identify your thoughts. It is good to have a age gap but too age gap is not good. But if you think it really works, give a try.
    Sometimes traditional thinking will be changed and age is just a number if he is loving you.

    Good Luck.

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  • No a 9 year age gap between 2 people literally prevents them from dating if they even mention the word date, or hand holding or kiss a black hole will suck them up

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