So why do us guys and girls never just be honest when rejecting someone? Why lie and make excuses? Is it just easier to make up excuses? Do we take into consideration the other person's feelings or are we just cowardly and don't want to risk upsetting the person we are rejecting?
Why are most guys and girls never honest when rejecting someone?
What Girls Said 6
Because it's more polite to sugar coat it. Saying something vague like "It's not me it's you" or "we're just not compatible" is much nicer than saying "If only you were better looking." or "Sorry, but you're stupid." You can care about not hurting someone's feelings without wanting to be involved with them romantically.0
Feelings are messy and as people we are vulnerable. So we can either choose to feel bad by being honest or we can choose to feel good by letting them down gently. So yes it's really not about the other person it's about the individual not wanting to feeling bad about rejecting the other person.1
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Perhaps a fear of conflict or just don't want to seam mean.1
I dont know why people do that either. ANd everyone who answered because to "spare" the other persons feelings is not the way to do it. Then they are left wondering "why?" I see it all the time on here. "Why did he/she leave me? You have no closure.
Id prefer it if the guy told me straight up the reason. Sure its going to hurt but believe me the pain will not be near as long because I know the REASON and its up to me to deal with it and move on. At least I know the truth instead of a BS line and lies.1
You want them gobe especially if they freak you out. It's all about pleasantries as well. You don't want to seem rude or mean at the same time.0
What Guys Said 8
I normally am. In the case of other people most of the women I know do it because they don't want to be thought of as a bitch. it is to relieve themselves from responsibility not because the other will get hurt. For men I have seen few cases of rejection but most of the time they are honest other times they just drift away. I think it is because of the responsibility and the fear of what might happen to the other person.0
Okay, I'll tell the truth to you in her stead.
It's cause you're ugly as shit.1
Because odds are it's going to be less traumatizing to a person you may care very much for as a friend to tell them you've kind of got something going with another chick then to tell them their fat and melodramatic so you're not interested.1
because they like to keep things cliché lol by not hurting the other person as much as possible0
It's both the desire to avoid confrontation and the desire to avoid unnecessarily hurting them.0
Because all we care about is "get out of my face NOW". We don't care if they never figure out WHY they aren't hot. It's not GAG. We want them gone and we don't give enough of a shit about them to risk drama by telling them more.1
A desire to not be unecessarily harsh and a desire to not get into a conflict2
They don't want to hurt the other persons feelings. Why upset them, and say "Look, I can't date such a whiny loser, who is constantly being a douchebag about everything life has to offer." Or something like that.
why not just lie, and say "It's not you, it's me, i'm not ready for a relationship right now" ?1
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