Why are most guys and girls never honest when rejecting someone?

So why do us guys and girls never just be honest when rejecting someone? Why lie and make excuses? Is it just easier to make up excuses? Do we take into consideration the other person's feelings or are we just cowardly and don't want to risk upsetting the person we are rejecting?


0|0
7|8

Most Helpful Girl

  • Because they're afraid of hurting someone's feelings...

    2|1
    0|0
    • But rejecting with someone with lines like "I'm too busy" just seems like folly to me. It's a well known fact that a girl isn't interested in you if she spins such a line.

    • Show All
    • Yes and it leaves one feeling more confused then they did before. haha! Such is life. :D

    • Couldn't agree more...

      Oh! Thank you for choosing me as most helpful! ^-^

What Girls Said 6

  • Because it's more polite to sugar coat it. Saying something vague like "It's not me it's you" or "we're just not compatible" is much nicer than saying "If only you were better looking." or "Sorry, but you're stupid." You can care about not hurting someone's feelings without wanting to be involved with them romantically.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Feelings are messy and as people we are vulnerable. So we can either choose to feel bad by being honest or we can choose to feel good by letting them down gently. So yes it's really not about the other person it's about the individual not wanting to feeling bad about rejecting the other person.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I think that's a cop out and it's lucky for me I don't buy into the reasons I get rejected. I get rejected because the woman in question is not interested for whatever reasons. I would just like the next girl that rejects me to turn around and say "I'm just not interested in you". I'd actually shake her hand and wish her the best for such refreshing honesty.

    • Show All
    • No I accept what you are saying. I wasn't trying to start an argument, I just think a majority of people are cowardly tis all.

    • Thank you for the clarification. I agree most people are cowardly.

  • Perhaps a fear of conflict or just don't want to seam mean.

    1|0
    0|0
    • But saying you're not interested is not mean is it? "Sorry, I'm just not interested in you" is better than making up excuses is it not? It's not rude is it?

  • just to not urt feelings that's all !

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yeah I totally understand, I just prefer honesty seeing as I was honest enough to tell the girl that I was interested in her by asking her out is all.

    • Show All
    • Yeah I know which is why I've just come to accept it and not let it get to me. It's good job I tend not to ask a girl out more than once otherwise these girls who keep saying they're busy would be wishing they had been harsher in their rejection haha.

    • good point !

  • I dont know why people do that either. ANd everyone who answered because to "spare" the other persons feelings is not the way to do it. Then they are left wondering "why?" I see it all the time on here. "Why did he/she leave me? You have no closure.
    Id prefer it if the guy told me straight up the reason. Sure its going to hurt but believe me the pain will not be near as long because I know the REASON and its up to me to deal with it and move on. At least I know the truth instead of a BS line and lies.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I couldn't agree more.

  • You want them gobe especially if they freak you out. It's all about pleasantries as well. You don't want to seem rude or mean at the same time.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 8

  • I normally am. In the case of other people most of the women I know do it because they don't want to be thought of as a bitch. it is to relieve themselves from responsibility not because the other will get hurt. For men I have seen few cases of rejection but most of the time they are honest other times they just drift away. I think it is because of the responsibility and the fear of what might happen to the other person.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Okay, I'll tell the truth to you in her stead.

    It's cause you're ugly as shit.

    0|1
    0|1
  • Because odds are it's going to be less traumatizing to a person you may care very much for as a friend to tell them you've kind of got something going with another chick then to tell them their fat and melodramatic so you're not interested.

    1|0
    0|0
  • because they like to keep things cliché lol by not hurting the other person as much as possible

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's both the desire to avoid confrontation and the desire to avoid unnecessarily hurting them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because all we care about is "get out of my face NOW". We don't care if they never figure out WHY they aren't hot. It's not GAG. We want them gone and we don't give enough of a shit about them to risk drama by telling them more.

    1|0
    0|0
  • A desire to not be unecessarily harsh and a desire to not get into a conflict

    1|1
    0|0
  • They don't want to hurt the other persons feelings. Why upset them, and say "Look, I can't date such a whiny loser, who is constantly being a douchebag about everything life has to offer." Or something like that.

    why not just lie, and say "It's not you, it's me, i'm not ready for a relationship right now" ?

    1|0
    0|0
    • What's hurtful about saying " Sorry, I'm just not interested in you"?

    • Show All
    • No, I don't think so. I think that most rejections happen after dating someone at least once.

    • I get rejected upon asking and it's usually the same old excuse as well :p

Loading...