So, what should I learn from this situation?

Hey everybody,

So, I was talking to this girl for about a month or two and I was really starting to like her. The first date was awesome. We made out twice, held hands and she told me she had a "really, really good time :)." The second date also went well. We kissed held hands, had a good conversation etc.

Then after that, I felt like it was harder to get in contact with her. For example, she'd be slow to respond to my texts, calls, etc. (much slower than she had been when we first started talking). Additionally, I kept suggesting days/times for a third date and she would always say she was busy, without suggesting alternate times. So, I decided to send one last text and then stop talking to her. Here's the convo, verbatim:

Me: "Hey, make sure you free up either your Friday or Saturday night this weekend. I have something planned for us. Just let me know which day works best for you."

Her (3 days later): Hey, I probably won't be free this weekend bc of work. That's kinda always the case I feel like bc of our schedule. You are a veryyyy sweet guy, but I don't want you to count on anything with me right now..."

Me: "Yea, I figured as much. Thanks for letting me know though! Much appreciated. Haha."

Her: No problem. I just didn't want to string you along when I know I never have time to do anything! Can't hold you back..."

Me: "No, I don't want to hold you back! Haha. And I could tell you had a lot going on, so I just wanted to ask one last time. Thanks for being straight up though. Says a lot about your character."

I have my ideas, but what do you think I should learn from this situation? Did I come on too strong, or start liking her too fast or what?

Thanks in advance for your opinions.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you really like her, but she is not as interested, so she is letting you down in the nicest way possible. For example, when she said, "You are a veryyyy sweet guy, but I don't want you to count on anything with me right now..." The I don't want you to count on anything with me now means, please look elsewhere. Same with her second text to you, "I don't want to string you along... Can't hold you back..."
    Also because she texted you 3 days later after the first text, means she obviously wants to be friends and doesn't want to hurt your feelings by turning you down.

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    • Thanks! I know that she's basically saying that she's not interested, but I was wondering how I should take this experience moving forward when I'm talking to other girls in the future. For example, should I take it slower, or not come on too strong, etc?

    • Don't change anything. You're a great guy and you're so considerate. Which ever girl you date in the future will appreciate your kindness and love you for it. So no, you should not take it slower and you're not coming of as too strong. I think coming on too strong is when a person constantly texts the other person with no reply, or one worded texts from the other side.
      I felt that your third/last text was unnecessary but the fact that you stopped with the 3rd text is good, don't text anymore then that if the other persons response is like what your girl wrote, let her text you next.

    • Thanks for the MH!

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