I have been with my fiance(possibly soon to be ex-fiance ) for two years. We had a son together who is now 9 months old. I'm not happy or myself anymore and am thinking about trying to date again. Nothing serious right away just get myself out there.I haven't been out much at all since having my son and have no idea where to start.My confidence is at 0. I feel like the only man that will ever want me is my fiance. I've obviously never had to tell someone I was interested in dating, that I have a child. I don't even know where to start or what to say to someone I'm interested in. I mean, a kid is a serious thing. I am not looking for a booty call. I'm so confused. I mean how many people my age (21) want to date a girl who has a kid by another guy? I don't wanna end up used or dating the wrong guy. The truth is I have never dated the right kind of men and just need some advice on the subject. Anything you have to say will help me out.Thanks.
Most Helpful Girl
You may not like to hear this but...now does not seem like the right time to even think about dating. You have to pull yourself together and get your life in order before you can offer yourself to anyone else as a viable partner. With the way you feel about yourself, you make it way too easy for a guy to get his way with you in any way he can because he'll get the drift you are seeking validation.
A man can't use that against you if you already feel secure about yourself. Right now, your child needs you more than a man does... I'm not saying it won't ever happen, on the contrary, when you are ready..when you have yourself pulled together, able to take care of your child on your own and confident about yourself, you won't feel so apprehensive.
Instead of feeling like no man will love you, you will feel like any man would love to be with a woman who can handle her responsibilities, and you won't settle for a guy who isn't handling his life as well...at that point, youdve worked too hard to get to where youare to have some guy come along and screw with you.
Take it easy and cross that bridge when you get to it. First, developing a plan for how you'll take care of yourself after you break up with your fiance. Next, break up and get started on moving on. Next, deal with fiance trying to get on your nerves and get you back while continuing to take care of your child. Next, work on yourself, your self esteem...do something for yourself that makes you feel great...keep taking care of your child, develop and maintain any sort of emotional/family support as possible.
Once you actually feel good about yourself and able to handle your life, then you can think about letting another guy into it. He will respect you more for it, and you will have so much more respect for yourself that you'll be able to be a great partner, while continuing to be a great mom.
hope that helps0
- Show AllShow Less