So NO man and woman can't be JUST friends?

I have a guy friend that I've known for 22 years, and that all we have EVER been. Im not attracted to him at all, and even if he was the LAST man on earth, I still wouldn't do him.
Just found out my bf, when we first started going out a year ago, initially didn't believe me when I told him we were just friends. He says its really uncommon for that to happen without hanky panky.
anyone have just a opposite sex FRIEND? lol


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sure I do, I have a few, and there are a few of them that I wouldn't want to date no matter what, even though I like and admire them as people. They're cool, but it just wouldn't work.

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    • I just don't believe it. That is no true friendship.

    • Yes it is, I just wouldn't want to live with them, procreate and raise children together and stuff like that. Hanging out is still fun, though.

    • I agree. I lived with my male best friend while dating my partner... who I'm still with! My ex roomie is now married and to this day my ex roomie and I still talk or meet up to gab.

What Guys Said 19

  • I have a few friends who are female, and nothing would ever or could ever happen between us. So I say it is possible. But I accept it's rare.

    I mean, one friend in particular.. we've shared hotel rooms together, we have traded sex tips, we have gone out and gotten well and truly drunk together when one of us has a bad break up. But the idea of having sex with her? Urgh, no, it's too weird.

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    • I agree with you. Weve shared all of lifes journeys and have been there for each other always. And yes I could even sleep in the same bed as him if need be. I just am simply not attracted to him at all. thanks for your comment :)

  • I call supreme Bullshit. and frankly even if it wasn't, that does not matter in a relationship.
    You have NO BUSINESS being with this other guy or talking with this other guy if you are in a relationship unless your bf is with you. and you need to make it very clear you are with your bf... some PDA while around the other guy.
    Men and women cannot be just friends the way women think. if things are equal... the man is single and the woman is single... guarenteed the guy will want to screw the woman... it just is that way...

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    • I've known my friend for 22 years, my bf for a year. If my bf was jealous or if it became a problem then yes I would do something about it. But sometimes you just have to trust the person you are with, cmon, wouldn't you think if something were to happen it would have happened 22 years ago- I dont find my friend attractive at all, my bf is hot though :)

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    • Well we will have to agree to disagree.
      I was with my ex wife 25 yrs. I don't get jealous. she said she was "just friends" with the husband of a couple we were good friends with and were hanging out with a lot. she wanted to go on a motorcycle ride since I no longer had one. I agreed to that... well turns out they went out to dinner. that completely crushed me as it was a complete violation of our relationship. there was no reason for her to do that. and no, I did not think she would do anything with him but that is not the point. she went on a date with him. it was a few months later the wife was going through the phone records and found she was calling and texting with him hundreds of times a month. to this day, even after our divorce she won't admit what she did was cheating and crossed the line. she tried to defend it by saying she was trying to understand me (we were going through our divorce but it was during the on again off again stage). This is what can happen. no different..

    • I'm not trying to get you to agree with me, I'm just letting you know what I think and where I'm coming from here. Like I said, I don't go out alone with my male friends, I don't go on vacation with them, I don't go to their homes, etc. What your ex did crossed a line for sure, I don't deny that. It was a clear breach of your contract of marriage.

      But I don't need other people to tell me what is acceptable and unacceptable in MY relationship... there's only two people who get to decide that :)

  • Men and women can be friends, there just can't be any sexual attraction whatsoever. Happens plenty of times, I'm sure he wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last woman on Earth as well, especially after being friends for 22 years.

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    • I agree with you. Very possible if there is zero attraction.

  • I have several women friends, I wouldn't say they will ever achieve buddy status but they are friends. I do think there will always be the elephant in the room question. Most guys won't ever like their girlfriend having a male friend but most will accept it for what it is.
    Several years ago I had a friend who was a female, through a odd set of circumstances, I accidentally saw her naked, we had been friends for over 10 years but for some unknown reason it changed our relationship forever, for both of us. And I can honestly say up to that point I never thought of her in a sexual way. We're still friends but it's not the same, it's not bad mind you but different, more flirty, if I didn't have a girlfriend, I might even want a friends with benefits relationship.

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  • I don't think that any man feels comfortable in the "friend zone" after he has admitted to himself and others that he is crushing. Think about the first time you felt that way about someone, and they tell you that there is NO WAY they will EVER consider being with you... That's the friend zone. It's where girls keep undesirable suitors.
    The best thing he can do is save his own dignity and simply stop talking to you. Block you on fb, black-list you on the phone. He doesn't have a shot, and he never will. Selfish of you to keep him around to stroke your ego.

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  • Ok, here's the thing you have to accept. YOU may not consider banging this guy, but he's considered banging you in the most filthy, degrading methods ever dreamed up.

    If you're ok with that knowledge, you can still be friends.

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  • I don't know where this ridiculous myth comes from. It's like people think we're different species or something.

    If you can't handle someone from the opposite sex being around you without boning them that's because you don't respect them as people and that's on you.

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  • The double negative is tricky.. I think men and women can be just friends. Hell I've friend zoned a ton of women in my day lol

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  • There is no such thing as ''friendship'' between a man and a woman. Thats just a womans illusion. My ex was ''just friends'' with her ex too when we were together. And guess what? That prick was the reason we broke up. I started a fight with him and she defended HIM instead of me. ''just friends''...

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    • "if one sheep is black, all sheep are black"

    • Yes it is as said above :p

    • sorry to hear that, but Im not talking about a romantic relationship gone to a friendship. Of course thats highly plausible that there will still be feelings there. My friend and I were never romantically linked.

  • It can happen, but almost always one side has feelings for the other. A pure platonic friendship Is very very rare. Maybe if you were friends since pre puberty, then I could see it.

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  • Wouldn't go so far as to say NO man and women but just about. There's a ton of science behind this and it doesn't follow the laws if nature. Doesn't matter usually if someone consciously realize the attractions or not, there's a whole subconscious brain function going on that we're not even aware of

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  • Does friends I've had sex with but don't really want a relationship count? Well, I think it's possible but I have to agree men are usually better friends for me. Women usually just don't have as much in common and those that do I usually don't find physically attractive.

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  • Possible. But unlikely.

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  • of course they can't be just friends, everyone knows that

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  • I have female friends. I feel no attraction to them and they probably don't feel attraction for me (if you saw me, you'd know why I think that). I think what your bf is getting at is that he thinks that your male friend might feel attraction for you. I see lots of you ladies saying you have male friends and how you feel no attraction for them. I get that. But can you be sure they don't have a thing for you?

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    • hey thanks for a great answer. I see your point there, never looked at it that way, thats probably dead on. But its hard for me to think that after all these years. he's NEVER made any move or even hinted to anything with me. But I think you're right about what bf said :)

  • I had a school college who claimed they were just friends, no one believed it either.

    From my experience, it is only possible if his sexual needs are fully fulfilled, otherwise he is lying about it and suppressing his urges and wishes.

    If he is single, be a good girl and find him someone.

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    • lol well, you'd never believe this, but he's a virgin at 44. Sorry I just can't fathom that my best friend for 22 years would want to jump in the sack with me.

  • Sure just friends is a possibility. That said, most girls don't make strong friends over the long run. They eventually flake out, change, or move away. Sometimes without any real reason as to why... A lot of women see friends as a disposable commodity. When they find someone knew to fill their hours they vanish. I've had female friends that I never intended on fucking and we had fun for a few years, then they moved away and vanished in the night, or went silent for no reason.

    The reason girls tend to make poor friends is because they'll be so damn needy when they don't have someone else to give them attention, but once they've got someone else they make that person their life and abandon people that were good to them completely. They sway with their emotions and as a result are unreliable. They can be fun to do shit with sometimes though. Just don't expect them to stick around.

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    • well, I've always been a tomboy, I like doing things that guys do, like car shows, motorcycles, etc. To me, women, at least a lot of them, are full of drama, which I can't stand. Thats why I hang out with him.

    • Not all guys like to do the same things. Drag me to a car show and I'll be looking for the back entrance to escape. I have a car and I've modded it some but honesty cars aren't all that interesting. The same goes for bikes. I've ridden them before. I'll probably own one again in the future but I won't be sitting around talking about it all the time. I might just take a ride from time to them. You're more likely to find me in the garden messing around with plants then talking about engines even though I've rebuilt a few...

    • *time

  • Guy has fantasized you in the filthiest possible way, I can vouch for that.

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  • I have a female friend who has been my friend for nearly seven years and there is no romantic attraction on either part. We had this discussion with each other and both felt that anything sexual between us would feel like incest.

    We talk about sex and stuff, but in the same way males would do sitting around a table in a pub, nothing has happened between us and nothing ever will happen between us.

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    • so initially you two MIGHT have gotten romantically together, see? I would never have that convo with my friend. Platonic all the way baby :)

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    • oh OK that makes sense ha ha I've never had anyone tell me and my friend we'd make a great couple and glad of it - thanks!

    • We just laughed it off because we're very similar in our outlook on life, very similar in our tempermant and we share a similar sense of humour and we're comfortable around each other which gives people the impression they get, but there's no attraction there, not on my part and certainly not on hers.

      So it's very possible for a man and woman to just be friends. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. :)

What Girls Said 16

  • My best friend is a guy, we've known each other since childhood. Other than a little kindergarten crush I had on him in high school which was short lived, there have been no feelings on either side.

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  • I have 3 or 4 really close male friends that are just that. Friends. There is no sexual attraction and it is mutual. So it is possible. However, I have males in the friend zone who, if given the opportunity, would do me in a heartbeat.

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    • women love to think there is no sexual attraction. but on the guys side, guarenteed he has thought about it many times. and given the right situation... would take you up on it. it is just the way it is. true "just friends" is a woman fantasy

    • Well my 3 or 4 really close male friends all have girlfriends so I don't think they care to hit the sack with me. As for the other guys, yeah I'm aware they would do more if they could, like I said before.

  • What? I have lots of guy friends and I've never been with them and never would. I include my partner in all activities with me so there's no issues. He's even become buddies with my guy friends! Men & women can be friends but you just go about it differently out of respect to your partner ;)

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  • That's ridiculous. I have several guy friends that I would never consider sleeping with/dating. Even if I find him attractive, I just don't believe in dating friends.

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  • My mother's best friend for years was a guy. I have several good friends who are guys. I have no inclination towards them and they none to me.
    Of course, my mum's best friend is my dad, and he isn't the guy mentioned prior. They dated, and they're best friends because they can tell each other anything.
    They can turn into relationships. But you may only have similar interests e. g. comics, sport etc. but absolutely no romantic inclination.
    It probably happens more often than is thought because MAYBE men expect a girl and a guy to be sleeping together and then finding out they don't after so long to be weird. :)

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  • Some of my best friends are guys... yes it is possible

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  • i have male friends and i don't have any romantic interest of them at all. i think girls and guys think differently. some guys can be so assuming from my experience when all you have for them is pity.

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    • i totally agree with you there, in the guys head he's thinking, she's hanging out with me, she really wants me, and the girl doesn't even give any signs that she is interested, but the guy takes it that way. And I admit I have had male friends I've been with because I feel sorry for them as well, but not my best male friend.

    • personally i have the tendency to get really affected by some of their problems that's why i try to help and give them attention but to some of them, i'm doing it cause i have romantic interest on them. it gets into my nerves at some point.

  • I have a couple of guy friends and I wouldn't date them or anything it's just friendship.

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  • Of course you're attracted to him, otherwise you wouldn't be friends! It just may not be to his appearance and sexual. Yes, you can be just friends with the opposite sex.

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  • I have tried to have male friends and from experience if you don't like them; they like you. It's a giant ballache and a bitch to deal with especially if you're in a relationship.

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  • Its like 1 in 99,999 opp sex friends! Its so rare!

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  • I only have one really close guy friend and we're JUST friends. He's told me he thinks I'm attractive and all but he wants just friendship.

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  • I think it's possible but I highly doubt if because I are concerned some girlfriends all the time about their boyfriends having female friends

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  • I really don't know how common or uncommon it is out there, but it's never been uncommon for me.
    I've had plenty of guy friends, purely platonic with no issues, I have several right now too.
    I believe that the people who think it's impossible mean it's impossible for THEM... I don't think it's impossible for everyone.

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  • It's definitely possible, I hsve a ton of male friends that are just friends

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  • I have a lot of guy friends, but I am also an ugly woman so none of them would ever want to be with me.

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