Not attracted to my own ethnicity?

I'm black or African American, whatever floats your boat, and I'm just NOT attracted to black guys at all! I don't know why. I feel horrible. I'm extremely attracted to white guys and I know I'm most likely to get a black guy than I white guy. I get approached by black guys and Hispanic guys a lot but never white guys. So I HATE the fact I'm attracted to them. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to change that. Any one else going through what I'm going through?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Its normal to like other races because you don't see them every day. The grass is always greener on the other side. There's nothing wrong with it at all. I just think you might have to approach some white guys yourself because they don't tend to approach black girls very often.

    GOOD LUCK

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What Guys Said 10

  • My hypothesis: If you live in the Western world, the reason why you're attracted to white males is simply because that's what you're told is attractive. You're constantly bombarded with advertisements that almost exclusively show white people.

    Many, many people suffer from this. Personally, I could not imagine not being attracted to my own race but, if I was born and raised in say Japan, I may just feel that way.

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    • Eastern actually, but I understand what you mean.

  • Man, have I learned on this site that black women like white guys...

    You know, a lot of white guys either do not care about ethnicity or actually prefer black women, so you don't have to "settle" for anyone else if you don't want to. Black guys date white women all the time, so why shouldn't you be allowed!

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  • Make friends with white guys, flirt with them. They're not likely to make the first move because they'll assume you prefer black guys.

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  • Do whatever you want. Be with whoever you want in life. Don't set something silly like race get in the way of that.

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  • The white devil huh. Well I've seen it a lot actually so I don't know that its all that uncommon. As a white guy that finds other ethnicities attractive I typically don't approach them. Mostly because I assume people usually stick to their own ethnicity. I will compliment them however, kinda feel things out a bit and let them take the lead from there. Maybe try doing the same

    Seems like a type of orientation so I doubt there's a way to fully change it.

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  • Start approaching white guys. Non-black guys really don't believe black girls would be interested in them.

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  • I doubt there's a way to change your preferences, so you're screwed if dating a black or hispanic guy is really that important to you

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  • Ya, I don't like Asian chicks really. But it's not a big deal for me. Just means I turn away those girls.

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  • I'm not or never gone though what you're experencing but go for whoever you like.

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  • The great thing is that this is probably just a phase. I've noticed that when girls like white guys, they are really into them for a couple of years and then they lose interest. Happens every time.
    Once you really sit and think about it and realize that not even white girls want that anymore, you'll get over it.

    In the mean time, you could try to hang around them and try to progress it into something. Can't sit around doing nothing and expect them to be all over you. Considering the mounting evidence that they would have very little chance with you, you can't blame them. Going on a date or two with a few of them should fix your problem up right away.

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    • Its been this way since 8th grade and I'm almost 19 now. Thank you for the advice by the way 😊

What Girls Said 6

  • Nothing wrong with being attracted to white guys! I like white guys myself and I'm an African American woman.

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  • It's just a preference, not a big deal. Don't base your preferences on who would be easier to "land" so to speak.

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  • Flirt with the white guys then. And make good conversations and then the will like you

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  • I would say you might suffer some internalized racism, but that it's your fault. If you like white guys, talk to them.

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    • Can you explain how that's racist? I said I'm not ATTRACTED to black guys. Not that I just DON'T like my own ethnicity as a whole.

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    • Well actually I believe black women and men are beautiful. I'm pretty confident in myself. I'm just attracted to white guys. I'm not just not attracted to black guys but also Hispanic and Asians. Do I think there beautiful people in those ethnicities of course.

  • Then just flirt with white boys. No big deal.

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  • I'm exactly the same way, you're not the only one. I'm not American, but I'm black and I'm attracted to white guys. I would date a black guy (obviously) , but for some reason I'm more attracted to white more than black guys.
    I also feel bad because of this. I know that 99,9% of white guys prefer white girls and that's understandable.
    But I wish I wasn't so attracted to them...
    So, I totally understand what you're feeling.

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    • Tell me about it!

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    • Haha yeah its hard to get over that.

    • Yeah it is. I hope I can overcome this, because it's a horrible feeling!

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