How to respond when someone wants to fix me up?

My best friend's mom wants to fix me up with a friend of hers' son. I have never met him and she really wants me to. I made the mistake of telling her that I'd be ok meeting someone before knowing she had someone in mind. Now she won't stop trying to get us together.
I recently lost my brother and am in absolutely no place for a relationship or to meet someone right now. I told her this, she told me we'd "wait a couple weeks" like I will magically be healed or something. I'd like to meet him, just not right now.
This makes me feel like a charity case. Like I can't find someone on my own.
What should I say to her so she gets the point that it's just not the right time?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Why not meet the guy and tell him how you feel.

    That you lost your brother recently and aren't ready for a relationship. Maybe when you least expect it you might find some comfort from him. By that I mean maybe you find a guy that has the connection with you to talk to you about it all and listen. Sometimes in the worst times of our lives we need someone to listen and understand us. Maybe this guy might be the type of guy that can understand and share your pain.

    But the only way you will know is if you at least meet him.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Sorry about your brother. People just like to help, I am sure she means well. Be nice but tell her not now, it's not even fair for the guy if you're not ready, and it most definitely not good for you.

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  • It takes longer than two weeks to heal, especially if you really cared about your brother.
    I'd say, just not now, or I need space... (preferably in a nicer way, lol)
    You are over 18, you have the right to do what you want.
    Therefore, if you're not at all ready, take all the time you need. Or if you want to do it at all, then just say you aren't interested...
    Sorry for your loss btw.
    Anyone can find someone on your own...

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What Girls Said 1

  • Wow, well first off I want to say that I am truly sorry for your loss. You definitely need time to grieve the loss of your brother before you can even start dating anyone.

    I can't believe she is so casual about it. Like if she thinks you two are a perfect match, well then what is it going to matter if she waits a while while you heal?

    I think you should tell her that although you appreciate her trying to help you meet someone, it's definitely not the right time for you right now.

    When dating, you want to put your best foot forward. You won't be mentally ready to date, because your mind will be elsewhere, which during these circumstances is completely understandable. You also won't be acting like your normal self. Let her know this. Even after 2 weeks, you may still be grieving. Honestly, 2 weeks isn't even that long, I seriously can't believe she said that to you.

    Everyone is entitled to their time when they lose a family member. Own your time. Don't let her force you to meet this guy before you are ready. You call the shots.

    If this guy can't wait, well then he isn't the right one for you. Take the time you need to deal with your loss and process everything that has happened.

    Then when you are ready and feel that you can make the time and the mental space for a partner, then you should start dating. But only when you feel ready.

    Hopefully she will understand this. Maybe talk to your best friend and see if she can talk to her mom also. I'm sure your best friend would understand, and maybe she will be able to convince her mom to back off.

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