Girl backs out from a date in the last minute, and goes "it's not you, it's me".. yeh right! Why do they do this?

So.. I meet girls online, talk to them for a week and plan in advance to meet in person. Everything's going well until the hour before the planned meet up. When I call them to find out what's up, they respond with crap like:
- "it's not you, it's me"
- "i can't be bothered, I gave up on dating all together"
- just never reply again.

WHY?
It's so rude to back out in the last minute and act all excited until then.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry, that really sucks but it happens on both ends you know? Okay, so I'm guessing you've done this a couple times correct? It seems like these girls are either insecure and afraid to follow through or they just decide to be b*tches and stand you up. Here's my advice to you from a girls perspective. Put down the on-line dating for a while, it's not working right now, doesn't mean it won't later in the future. Get out and meet people in the real world, I know you may be busy with work etc but here's the things, you are more likely to make a relationship better with someone if you slowly get to know them one on one and face to face, people fall in love with the idea of someone on-line and sometimes in person all the time, but at least with the in person you have an opportunity to meet someone by joining a club, you like to play basketball? Find a team somewhere, get a group together, you go to the gym? Work out and meet some new friends? You like to sing? Join a community choir, or school choir, point is, by getting involved in things that you love to do hobbies etc you have a chance to meet people that might share a common interest in things that you love. And you know what? Be thankful that you're getting those rude girls out of your system now! They certainly aren't worth your time at all! But seriously, if you do things that you love, you'll meet people that love similar things that you do. Be confident and proud of yourself for putting yourself out there, but... perhaps it's time to try a different approach. Best of luck!

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What Girls Said 3

  • Maybe they're just nervous a out online dating? It can be nerve wrecking to meet someone you've never met before and don't know. It's scary, maybe they just hot cold feet and it really is them and not you

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  • she wasn't serious about the date

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  • I honestly think it's because they like you but they feel pressured to meet after such a short period of time (1 week isn't enough to get to know someone). If you give it a month - 6 weeks I don't think you'd be getting the same responses.

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    • The problem with leaving it for so long is that they friendzone you. If they like me, wouldn't they at least be polite?

    • I wouldn't meet a guy after a week.. and I wouldn't friendzone them after just 6 weeks.. wouldn't they be polite.. maybe but not if they feel as though they've been pressured

What Guys Said 4

  • "It's not you, it's me" = You seem like a nice guy, but I've decided you aren't my soul mate. We are not compatible.
    She saved you a lot of wasted time by being honest instead of further leading you on.

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  • man I love throwing clich├ęs out there. its the ultimate obvious way of saying "no" haha

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  • It's sad but it can't be helped. Flaky people exist and online dating is an ideal place for such people. Women can enjoy the attention the get while committing nothing. I had a few friends in college that went on dates throughout the week just for free food. Please don't take online dating that seriously. I'm sure there are wonderful people out there but it's just a sea of crazy. Don't set your base for reality with that illusion.

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  • You can't win them all.

    Isnt' this better than dropping $50 on dinner and drinks to never hear from them again. At least you have $50.

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