I recently had an intense conversion via text with a guy that I like. We both like each other, actually. The feelings that we have are quite mutual. Just a few days ago he admitted to me that he loved me. But anyway, I am concerned about whether or not he will ever commit. We have known each other for quite some time. He talks about a future with me (children, marriage, etc.) But he hasn’t made me his girlfriend. Now, this guy is not a virgin, but I am. I have made it very clear to him that I will not lay down with him outside the confounds of marriage. Luckily, he accepts my standards and has said that he accepts my uniqueness and values my purity. Now, he has never said “I do not want a relationship with you,” actually, when I asked him why he doesn’t want one he replied saying, “says who?” He told me that because I am “penis shy” he is afraid that he may hurt me and that his genitals will not fit inside me. Basically, he said that he doesn’t want to make me uncomfortable. After processing his response, I couldn’t wrap my head around his reason for not proceeding in a relationship with me. I asked him, if he wants to marry me how does he propose to get there without being my boyfriend first? And plus, if we were to date there would be no sex, so his “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable” response is stupid. It just seems as though he is punishing me for my decision to be a virgin. I figured that guys value girls who are willing to save themselves for that one special person, rather than sharing before marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I am not sorry for my decision to be and remain a virgin, because I know that’s what God wants. But I don’t understand this guy’s response.
Most Helpful Girl
Ask him. It's as easy as that. Or if you are shy if he pops a question or he opened something related to that, ask him, "are you trying to ask me if you want me to be your girlfriend or not?" Or "are you telling me if we can be in a serious relationship?". Deliver it in a nice way. Then your next step will depend on what he will answer you. :)0