Guys, how long before you give up?

How long will you be interested in a girl before giving up? Or realizing your never going to have her?
Or if she kind of shows interest will you keep at it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I will try for ever if she is around.
    It depends what you see in her.
    If she is a life sharing type most guys who wants to settle down would never calm down till he has her.

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    • Wow really that's so interesting! Will you take breaks and have time out every so often?

    • its all in ur hormones. if u feel tired take some time out and start hitting in on her. trust me gals love attention...

What Guys Said 71

  • Life is too short and there are too many other people out there to waste too much time. If there is simply no chance, I won't waste a minute. If there is mutual interest and she is a great person I will invest enough time as long as there are positive advancements. If it gets to a point where the courting stalls and in the interest dies out, then it is time to move on. You really can't make someone like you. Either they do or they don't. It shouldn't take months and months to get something going.

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  • For the right girl, I'll hang on to the possibility for a long time (probably too long). I spent a couple years concealing my feelings for a good friend because there was never a good opportunity to tell her and for a long time I assumed it was never going to happen anyways. I didn't end up making a move until I came to the realization that I wasn't going to meet someone I liked more than her, so my only option was to find out if there was a chance there, and either pursue things with her or know for sure it wasn't an option and move on. Moral of the story: if a guy is interested enough, he can be interested for a LONG time until either he meets someone he likes more or accepts there is zero chance of things happening with her.

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  • I am dealing with this exact same situation right now!!! I can tell you it definitely depends how much we like the girl. This girl and I hit it off pretty well, and then after seeing her a couple times we had a talk. I told her I really liked her and she told me she had feelings but was still sort of involved with another situation. Ordinarily I would have walked away right there. But, because I just feel a connection with this girl, and I know she has some feelings for me, I have been waiting it out for about a month. Just today she finally asked me to do something with her so it really made my day. I don't see me walking away from this one unless she flat out tells me it isn't going to happen. But until then I will keep trying. She is well worth the effort!!! I don't know about other guys, but when I see something I want, I go after it, and I don't give up easily. Anyone worth anything, is worth putting in some time for in my opinion. It's all in the situation too. If a girl is not giving me any hints at all that she would ever be interested, I would go away much quicker. Out of curiosity, why do you ask? What is your situation?

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  • I guess it depends on how interested the girl has been up until then. If she was lukewarm the whole time, if she doesn't respond to a call or text, I'll just move on. If we had something, I'll be a bit more persistent (just in case she's playing hard to get or wants me to chase her). But even then, I'll only give it a couple days before I check out mentally. If a girl gives me the slightest hint that she's interested, I'll keep at it, though. If I like her enough, of course.

    But I never burn bridges. Life happens sometimes, and ignoring might not be intentional. You never know when someone might come back in your life.

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  • I think it depends if its a new relationship, an existing one. Even if she is showing interest eventually you have to move on if it goes no where. Girls always say I have you all these signs how did you not know? etc. Well sometimes we just don't get it. And most guys I know, You tell us what you want, or that you want us to do something in Im willing to say most guys would. can't just be dropping hints all the time, there's have to be black in and white especially if you want action done.

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  • I never give up. Let me tell you a story. I know a girl, loved her very much, did some stupid stuff (not cheating) She gave me a ton of chances. She said she'll never look at me the same again, hated me. we go to the same college. Been trying for almost a year to talk to her. I tried too soon and she was still very upset at what I did. (I'm not gonna say what I did but It ended up getting me a restraining order) haven't tried talking to her for 2 months straight... Saw her the other day, July 3rd. She seemed glad to see me and I was glad to see her. We walked and talked a bit and she mentioned to me that she looked at the stars the other day and talked with a friend of hers. She mentioned to her friend that she saw a shooting star, pointed out where she did. When she saw the shooting star it was with me. I mentioned to her that this was the day that we saw the shooting star, I remembered it perfectly. She seemed so surprised and her face lit up. I jokingly asked her "Did you mention who you saw it with?" She gave a little smirk and then I mimicked her voice "Yeah some asshole but we don't talk anymore." I caught her smile even though she tried to turn her head to hide it, but her cheeks get so big when she smiles. I then looked at her and said "But that could change."... We walked some more and I left where she went to meet her friends to go jogging. When I left her she turned around full and looked at me in the eyes and said "I'll see you around." Mind you I'm not supposed to be talking to her because of the restraint and she knows that too but it didn't seem to matter at that point. I'm hoping to run into her again soon because she is taking summer classes and I usually go to the library on the campus. Taking things very slow at the moment.

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    • by the way the restraint was for Emotional / Verbal.

    • AHHH!!! I just read your story and Love it!!:) We need more guys like you in this planet! I feel like, when you find someone just focus on that person, and build a relationship that last a lifetime!

  • If there's interest there, we'll go for it, but if you not making the effort then we'll go else where. When you begin to do the right things that we look for in a woman, but then there's no progress, after a while, we'll start losing interest real quick

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  • If I know for certain I will never get her, I will give up immediately. I'm actually a little more pragmatic, I watch for subtle hints such as glances (how often she gawks at me), or while in conversation, her body language. If I don't see much openness, I would be discouraged, but I wouldn't take the risk of trying at all if I don't see any promise.

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  • Once I've fallin for someone I carry an irrational amount of hope and can be very tenacious... I might give up today... and then care enough to try again tommarow... in fact... it literally takes her telling me that she fucking hates me and wishes i was dead to never bother her again... then i will probably take the hint and disappear forever... and after that i will probably never give her the chance to patch things up... it literally has to be quite severe before i will quit altogether.

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  • I just give up if she only told me that she is not interested , because there would be no point of continuing after that cuz I will not force someone to be with me

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  • For me it depends on how much progress you feel like you're making.

    If I feel like I've made no progress whatsoever even after trying really hard I will usually conclude she is not worth my time.

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  • I never give up if someone is worthwhile

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    • But if they say anyting good about anyone named Clinton, Oprah, or Trump, I'm walking for good

  • Look. That depends on a guy. Personally if I really like someone I dont give up at all.
    But, of cours after a long period of time im not doing it because i like you. It becomes a game. And i dont like to lose. I waited for 4 years to hook up with one girl (its not like i was alone the whole time, i was in a friend zone but she cept on giving me fals hope), finally i succeded and when she started taking her clothes off i sent her home. I didn't like her and i didn't want her. She started crying and said she is a whore.
    So dont lead on guys, you can get hurt too.

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  • Make peace with the emotion, realize the truth of the situation. If it means there is a spark left and see it as and treat it as a spark. But if the fire can be tamed and used to make food of love then keep adding spices and water to sooth the flavor and balance out the intensity.

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  • idk... maybe a few conversations with her to see her interest. That's all you need. She's either not interested (likely) or is interested and has some emotional walls set up. I'm not wasting anymore of my time or hers. Just move on bleh. Just dealt with this type of BS to.

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  • I always looked for a marriage with a girl I like but this is how modern girls changing behaviour and selfishness changed me

    7-8 years back I'd chase her years before giving up
    5-6 years back I'd not chase her 1 day after realizing
    now well may be 3-4 days (increase in timing just coz I don't wanna die single :P) not coz I trust girls more now

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  • Not long. The first date pretty much sums it up. If it doesn't even come to that, I ask 3 times max. If third time's not the charm, her majestic loss.

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  • It depends on the girl. I have flirted with several ladies. However when I ask them out for a date they either have a boyfriend or not interested. Now if the girl is hard to get I would say I would give up after awhile. It is hard to put a time on it. A girl needs to show she is interested in flirting. If the guy is interested he will ask you out. Now if he is shy you can ask him questions that may help. Now if she shows interest in me I will ask for a date. If she says no without a excuse I may try again later. I hope this makes some sense.

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  • A honest guy will protect his heart first, if she's not sure if what she really wants than there is no future in that relationship. So why keep trying and hurting your self? I will give you all the attention I can but after a matter of time of the girl isn't really in this boat than I'll just move on. It should be 50/50

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  • Sadly, I've been at it for 5 years. I mean i try to move on but every time i get close she shows interest so i basically get trapped in her smile again. I just want to get out. Dont lead a guy on for 5 years if you know you won't have a future just be straight forward.

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    • Dude just a friendly advice coz your message hurts me, please don't become a puppet move on you deserve a girl who treats you right. Who know this girl is keeping you as a back up plan, which really sucks.

  • until she rejects me. If i am never gonna have her i will give up but if she shows interest then i will continue until i can't take it anymore and lay down an ultimatum.

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  • I like to be up front with a woman I'm interested in, and I like her to be up front with me. If I'm interested enough to pursue her, I ask her if she's interested in being pursued. If she is, I ask her out on a date (which is different from just hanging out). If she's not, I might need a little time to adjust to being "just" friends before I can hang out with her again (it was a rejection, even though I brought it up early enough to not be heartbroken about it). Like any relationship, our friendship may end; I will do my part to not let it be due to a romantic/sexual rejection and respect her boundaries.

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    • Isn't that a little awkward though?
      - I'd like to pursue you if you think that's alright.
      - I think that's cool, please pursue me now that I'm fully aware of it and there are no misunderstandings.
      - Well then, would you like to go on a date with me?

      Why not just ask her on a date instead of going about it like you're buying a car?

    • "I like you. I'd like to go out sometime."
      "That would be great!"
      "Awesome. How's Saturday?"
      "I'm available. What were you thinking?"

      Not that difficult to figure out what I meant, really. What's wrong with having no misunderstandings? What's the point of keeping her unaware of my intentions?

  • If u like a guy and ur making him wait ur crazy guys are stupid and don't see hints as well so be more up front with the guy I wish girls would do this more they are so goddamn confusing!

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  • Like milliseconds.

    I have no interest in women who aren't interested back.

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    • amen brother !!!

    • Hates off you are the ideal all man should follow now a days. I see so many man who are ready to lick a woman's feet just coz she is a woman, I mean where is the "self respect" that kinda guy is not a man anymore. Salute...

  • I maintain interest until I have reason to believe that nothing will come of it. I'm sometimes too slow/passive for my own good though. Normally it's a few months, but I was hung up on this one girl for a very generous amount of time. If the girl shows interest, but never decisively responds, we're back in the same boat. I'm not big on the whole getting strung along thing and I have a relatively easy time detaching myself if need be. So, in short, I could be interested in a girl for quite a while, but when I have reason to believe that nothing will come of it, I let it go.

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  • I never give up until she tells me straight up it's not gonna happen.

    If she shows interest, that just encourages me.

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  • It depends on my interest level. Long story short, five months ago this girl and I started talking, we hit it off, had every intent to ask her out in April, she had already starting dating, it didn't pan out and we just had our first date this past Saturday with her with another one planned for later. She asked me first and I accepted after I had given up.

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  • when she plays too much on me I cut.
    when she starts having a bf I cut.
    when she don't want me I cut.
    when she keeps me just so she has more options I cut.
    And when the girl seems to be good at first but skips my dates then I'm gonna say that if she cuts the next one I fuckin cut!!!

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  • coming off a break up id say im definitely not in a hurry and am rather afraid of women right now or rather id just stay away as women seem to just be a lot of trouble and not worth it what so ever

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  • I try once, if she doesn't want to then just move on the next unless there is a valid reason why she doesn't want to/flakes.

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What Girls Said 5

  • if they ever give up on me their missing out

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  • it depends as long as i can see a good to her ill never give up easily.

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  • Not long. Only a guy with supreme confidence will put up with that for long. Most guys give up if the girl isn't instantly receptive. Most people these days can't withstand the slightest bit of rejection because they're all special snowflakes entitled to everything.

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  • My boyfriend and I got to together for a short while in the beginning and broke up after a few month for a month or so. He broke up with me cuz of shit his friends were saying, but I never gave up, I still gave him all my attention, and showed him that no matter what I wasn't going anywhere and that I would stick by him through the worst... we've now been together for just about 5 years. And I love him more and more everyday. So moral to the story, don't give up on something you truly feel is worth it.

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    • Good for you. I wish I could find some like you. Its great to know there someone out there willing to fight for love.

    • We've had a lot of battles to go through... and right now were probably going through the roughest situation we've ever had to deal with... it really is putting a strain on us as individuals and us as a couple. And you will find her. Just give it time. It takes time for great things to happen. I'm sure you'll find a wonderful woman who will fight for you.

  • Until he finds someone new

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