How can I be more reserved with who I kiss?

I think to be kissed is a big deal. So I had my first kiss at 14 which it wasn't a mutual decision, the guy actually came onto me and it wasn't very impressive so I like to think that wasn't my first kiss because I didn't want it in the first place, but fast forward to me at 15. I kissed this guy just after knowing him around about a month and I was hoping for a relationship but he decided to date somebody else so I am now 16 and about 2 months ago I got to know this 18 year old and he also kissed me but I really liked him and also wanted a relationship with him but once again that backfired, and this weekend at a wedding my family was invited to I was talking to this guy who was family of the groom and he kissed me out of nowhere and I later found out he was 24 years old. So I am just not feeling too great about guy's being too forward and stealing kisses from me if you will, I am rather shy and its not like me to be kissing guys left right and centre and I want to learn to be more reserved with who I kiss because I was told by a guy friend of mine that the best kiss he ever had was with a girl that made him wait 2 weeks for it and he said he loved the chase and considered it rather modest of her and I would prefer to be that way. Although most teens my age do get around a bit I am not one to follow the crowd and I have never had a boyfriend before so as you can imagine I am not very skilled in the art of dating therefore when it comes to kissing I have no skillful tactics of saying "no" without sounding rude or coming off as frigid. Do any of you women out there have any smart maneuvers to declining a kiss politely? if so what are they and how are they done? also do you guys have any rules for dating, i. e I've heard people say don't have sex on the third date and stuff but do you have any rules that should be applied4 kissing


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do as you feel comfortable. You are still young, and it's good that you aren't just one of those girls who is totally slutty. A lot of girls just so out to scenes to make out with guys for the fun of it.
    If you don't want to kiss a guy, just pull back and say "sorry, no." But, if you actually like a guy, it's not a good idea to just shoot him down like that, because it's going to make him think you're not into him.
    You will find kissing isn't that big of deal... Just take it slow, choose your guys wisely, and the ones that actually like you and don't just want you for sex, will be patient... Just don't go too slow is my advice.

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 3

  • I personally find kissing to be a very enjoyable activity to engage in with little to no consequence. If a guy strikes me as attractive and I want to kiss him, we kiss. I don't get wrapped up in the meanings or the potential future. I don't feel like they've "stolen" anything from me if it never goes anywhere. I'd feel that way about sex, but kissing just seems like such a fun way to engage in intimate affection without the worries.

    If you feel differently, that's fine too. All you have to do is turn the cheek and politely say no. If however, you want to at the time, don't beat yourself up if nothing comes of it. With the right person, it can surely create fireworks and be very intimate. But it's not as if he stole a piece of you, if you know what I mean. Allow yourself to enjoy it for what it is.

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  • When I'm dancing with a guy/our faces happen to be really close, I always turn my head a little to the side so that not 100%face to face. I admit sometimes its difficult not to kiss especially when you're in the mood but then I think of all the nastys I could get from him and I inch myself away.

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  • Just tell him you don't want any physical contact until you are ready and feel comfortable.
    Boys can be hard of hearing at times. So be very clear and repeat if necessary. A guy that ignores your wishes is a douche

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