How do you convince the person playing hard to get that you're honestly interested without coming off as desperate?

So I've noticed a really frustrating issue. Playing hard to get vs not looking desperate. So both guys and girls play this game and honestly I think it sucks. Everyone's afraid of looking desperate why? Because being desperate isn't attractive and people walk away so what do you do you act like your not desperate. So by not being desperate you become very selective and only receptive towards those that you honestly think are really into you aka playing hard to get. Which makes sense until you realize the people you're trying to attract are doing the exact same thing trying not to look desperate. So how do you convince the person playing hard to get that you're really truthfully interested without seeming desperate? And how do you avoid looking desperate without making your self too hard to get? And honestly why can't we all just be honest and stop running from scary stuff like rejection and heart break?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Be consistent. She looks for your inconsistencies. Don't let that happen and she will come around if she likes you


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What Girls Said 2

  • Because the person who cares the least has the most power in the relationship. It's a power struggle. Sad but true. Nobody wants to feel vulnerable. We want to feel powerful. However, in order to get the relationship started, one side has to cave. The question is, are you strong enough to cave in first?

    • This is sad but I don't agree with the true part. And I'm normally a realist no matter how pessimistic the truth may be. I've heard the whole power struggle thing before but honestly it doesn't seem realistic to me. What power can truly be had in a relationship. Power over the outcome? Not really like all things in life any outcome is possible. Power over the other person? Not really a person can act independently whenever they choose. Although you can influence them heavily it's still never complete control. There's no real power ever it's just the perception of having autonomy in the relationship. It's feeling like you're in control over the situation even when you never actually are. The person that caves in isn't actually caving in just allowing the other person to feel comfortable because they know fighting for control is a fruitless endeavor.

    • You're right, it's only an illusion of power. I usually wear my heart on my sleeve. What you see is what you get. Some people might say I don't have enough game but who wants to play games if you're serious about finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with it?

  • i agree completely, this is the issue with dating nowadays. the sad part is many opportunities are lost cause of games. a guy and girl may like each other but then never go out on a date cause of silly games misunderstandings and time wasted.

    to avoid this, u cannot prolong games for more than 3 weeks. i always say weeks cause after a month i give up on the guy i dont have time or patience anymore to see his hot and cold bullshit anymore.

    secondly, like the other girl said, be consistent. show a little interest at a time. eye contact, then strike a conversation, make her laugh, cross the touch barrier, show subtle hints, and this is the best and fun part gets so exciting and fun, you feel the butterflies. when u see her responding back, always being around u, smiling, eye contact, stealing glances of u, complimenting u, u know u can ask for her number now. u exchange numbers then get talking and finally go out on a date. just be assertive like hey this movie came out last week I've been wanting to see it, wanna come with me? bam, you got yoself a date.

    now if u had waited and kept going hot and cold then she would have seen it as u not being interested, u being undecisive, she may thing you're a player, u got other girl options, etc. whatever u do, do not flirt with other girls in front of her, especially girls she knows. she will never trust u again and this is the biggest trust u can break. think about it if she flirted with your best guy buds or guys u know. how would u feel.

    just cut the chase and ask her out. be genuine.


What Guys Said 1

  • Try giving just a little glance, maybe a short conversation, then play the game yourself. Don't fall into the trap, he's trying to see if you're clingy. Show attention, then cut him off.

    I agree the game is stupid. Dumbest tactic ever. Why can't we just say," Hey I like you," and be done.