I spent the majority of my childhood/teenage years being very overweight. Even though I was genuinely a nice person, I often got picked on even when I tried to mind my own business.
When I would ask a girl to a date/prom, I didn't just get turned down. I got slammed and ridiculed.
Eventually I decided to go to the gym and get in shape, and with that change in my body came a change in the treatment I received. I wasn't being made fun of anymore, girls finally noticed me, guys no longer bullied me.
Dating finally became an option. It felt like, my whole life romance was this game I was never picked for because I was slower and weaker than the other kids, and now that I looked different, I had the option to be it's star player.
But, I didn't take it.
When girls would approached me I found myself mentally pulling away.
I didn't want to be a part of a game that relied so much on my superficial looks. A game that reveals human nature in such an ugly fashion.
Bad guys and Alpha males sexually taking advantage of women. And spoiled, attractive women getting their every whim and will from sex-starved men.
A game that felt like honor and integrity had no place in it's rules.
I'm lonely, I'm just going to out and out admit it. I'm lonely. But I don't want to be a part of love when human nature is just so... ugly.
God... what do I do?
Most Helpful Guy
You sound a lot like my little brother, he had a lot of issues too, but instead of being heavy he was really skinny and wimpy, he too has turned it around physically but the scars remain with him as well.
First thing is there really is a lot of good women out there, no kidding, a lot!!! Probably way more than the spoiled, sluttier girls you are talking about. I hope that you're not lumping all women together. That being said you have to do things to find them, maybe going to where the kind of places where the type of woman might be, churches, fund raisers, places that people volunteer. You can meet nice people anywhere and everywhere. Sometimes the nicest girls can be quieter, and shyer, which makes it a little harder to meet them. Keep trying, I think what you need is self confidence, and that will come the more you put yourself out there. You need to forget your past, it's over and gone.1