Alright boys and girls. What are your thoughts on dating a coworker?

Was at work the other day and someone comes up to me and said
(name omitted) wants your phone number.
While I told her that I am kind of talking to someone else, nothings official. So we exchanged numbers later.
The thing with the original girl might have ended and this coworker is clearly interested in me.

So what are your thoughts? My own parents were coworkers and have been married for 20+ years now. But I've also heard a lot of horror stories of couples who were coworkers and who break up. So I'm on the fence. What are all your thoughts. I've always understood the saying "don't **** where you eat" because that makes a lot of sense.

  • It's fine
    53% (8)45% (5)50% (13)Vote
  • It's a horrible idea
    20% (3)18% (2)19% (5)Vote
  • It depends (explain if you choose this)
    27% (4)18% (2)23% (6)Vote
  • Other (explain)
    0% (0)19% (2)8% (2)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Again like others have said, it depends. Depends on the people but also what kind of workplace it is. If you're working at Subway or something I wouldn't care at all. If it's a coworker whose cubicle is right next to yours every day, I can see that being a problem because you wouldn't ever be apart, plus HR might not like it.

    I actually am in a serious relationship with a guy who works at the same company as me... we went to school together but officially "met" at a work event. He doesn't work in the same department though, so we never interact for work at all. I think that's why it's alright for us. Also our workplace is super laid back and family oriented, there are quite a few married couples that work at the same place, etc., so they can't really get mad about us dating.

    Anyway for practical advice: get to know the girl better first, if she's crazy then no for sure don't. And definitely don't just hook up and then stop texting her, that would get awkward since you work together. If you think you're both going to be mature about it, dating could work. Maybe hang out and ask her what she thinks about it since you're coworkers? Maybe she's wondering if it's ok, too.

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    • All very true. Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I've mentioned here a bit of my workplace - -

      There's probably about... 20-35 people working at any given time, and 50+ people employed in the store total. We don't work same days often (it's always random) and *if* we do, we're almost opposite ends of the store. So unless I make the effort or she does, we don't see each other during our work days (occasionally, I might pass by her or her end of the store, but not necessarily. And if I do, I'll literally be just passing through)

      But because we've been talking a bit, she has been making points to come see me at my end of the store. But even so, that is completely avoidable if she doesn't want to come see.

      And now that you mention it, there is a married couple at my workplace. Not sure if they met there, but I assume they did. I'll think about it haha (and yeah, crazies are a big no no haha)

      Thanks for the post, and best of luck in your workplace romance! :)

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    • haha dating is always complicated! Good luck though. Or maybe you'll meet a different girl and everything will work well with no complications, who knows.

    • Yeah maybe. Hopefully I'll get some sort of clue what to do soon haha. But thank you, I appreciate it.

What Girls Said 13

  • It's not always a bad thing. I've done it before. It was weird at first when it ended because the next week he started dating another coworker, but since I'm an adult I didn't make a scene or anything, I just moved on. People always say it's a bad idea, but you both just have to be adults about things if it ends.

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    • Well put. Thanks for the input. I'll think about it, but frankly, I don't know. I barely know the girl and, yeah she's nice, and this job we share is temporary (just a part time before I can get something related to my college major) I'm still holding out hope for the original girl, but if that doesn't happen, I wouldn't just want to settle for someone showing me attention for the risk of it ending badly at work. I see your side though.

    • When my co worker and I dated we didn't tell anyone there. We kept it a secret, didn't interact any different at work, we waited until we were away from the job, so when it ended it wasn't a big dramatic deal because no one at work was in our business. However the coworker he is with now has made absolutely sure to tell everyone they are together, and she's always telling everyone about their drama and fights so the whole place is in their business. I would honestly suggest getting to know her a little better to asses her maturity level.

    • I agree. But I already know that at the very least one person knows he likes me because some other co worker came up to me and said "So I'm just the messenger, but ____ wants your phone number". So I have no idea who else knows. So far, I don't know if anyone does, but at the very least, one does. But I do agree about the maturity level

  • err nope.. not a good idea

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    • I can see why and have received a lot of replies saying similar things. Thank you much for your input.

    • no problem dude

  • From experience, it can make things awkward. But it all depends on the person.. if you're both mature about things then go for it!

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    • Yeah. I'm mature, but I don't know if she is. Frankly, I would rather be with the girl I was talking to before, but I don't know if that's over (odd situation, and long explaining it). But yes, maturity is a necessary thing always.

  • Generally, I think dating a co-worker is a big no-no, it can just lead to too many problems. But despite saying that, if I really thought the guy was worth it, I might consider it anyway.

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    • Totally can see why you'd think that way. As I said below, one of my best friends works with his ex of three years. It's super awkward and it sucks for him when he sees her with her new boyfriend. Don't think I'd want to go through that. Doesn't sound too fun.

    • Yeah I completely agree! And I'm sure it can be difficult to maintain a professional atmosphere under circumstances like that.

    • Oh certainly (especially since he still isn't over her). Their break up wasn't horrendous, but it wasn't exactly mutual or civil. So while their situation isn't the worst case scenario, it still isn't great. And I agree, it certainly must be difficult.

  • I`m not against it. The guy would have to seriously be worth it.

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    • Very valid point. I barely know the girl, so it's hard whether to know if she is worth it or not.

  • Anytime I have seen this work usually at some point, one transfers to another department, building, office, etc.

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    • I'm sure seeing each other every day must suck if a break up occurs. Me and the girl are in completely different departments already (plus this job for me is temporary) but I see why it would lead to that.

  • If you don't think it will affect anything if you two break up, go for it.

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    • Well put. Yeah, *if* I'm still at this job *if* we break up, it won't be horrendous. I'll consider it. Thanks for the reply.

  • it depends because I think dating is ok but you need to take it slowly and make sure its serious before any big steps are taken (eg sleeping together)

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    • Yeah, I agree. I barely know this girl, nor her maturity level. She asked if I wanted to do something together soon. I agreed, but I told her when she asked for my phone number, I'd like to hang out with her as friends because I was seeing someone. A few days ago, the thing with the girl I was seeing might have just tanked, so I don't know if what's going on with that. I see the concerns of everyone and I totally agree with them. (Plus, I don't want to spend any longer at this job then needed haha) But even so, I agree, maturity is a big thing. I don't know what I"m gonna do with this girl. Kind of at a standstill haha... But thanks for the opinion.

  • I don't think its a good idea. I personally wouldn't do it.

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    • I see why you wouldn't. A lot of concerns, risks, and all that. But thanks for the input. I appreciate it.

  • Personally, i won't recommend it. But it really depends, most office relationship will end up being subject on talking in the office and you don't get to have private relationship.

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    • Good point. Yeah, that doesn't sound too appealing. I'm definitely not the type to post about anything relating to a relationship on any type of social media, so it not being private for the most part is something I don't like. It's fine when my best friends and such know, but when acquaintance coworkers all know, that awkward and I like privacy, and all that.

  • How about a turtleOrker

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  • I think it depends on how many people work in your company and how closely you work together.

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    • There's probably about... 20-35 people working at any given time, and 50+ people employed in the store total. We don't work same days often (it's always random) and *if* we do, we're almost opposite ends of the store. So unless I make the effort or she does, we don't see each other during our work days (occasionally, I might pass by her or her end of the store, but not necessarily. And if I do, I'll literally be just passing through)

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    • You should go for it!

    • Yeah, maybe. I'm considering it haha. She just asked me if I wanted to do something with her, and I agreed. So I'll hang out with her and see where it goes. Thanks for the post: You're awesome.

  • The office (Pam and Jim)-tv show= watch it. It's fine

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    • Loved The Office haha. Good point. It is risky but could be rewarding, like Jimothy and Pamela (as Michael would say)

What Guys Said 6

  • I asked something similar before www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1017929-do-you-have-a-date-no-coworkers-rule-if-so-why-if-not-what

    It truly depends on the people - their maturity, rationality, setting the precedent/expectation when the relationship starts, etc. But I'm all for it. I'm really against the idea of restricting yourself from potentially great relationships just b/c of a title someone has as a "coworker"

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    • plus that whole mindset is so defeatist and negative. it's assuming the relationship will fail.

      Seriously... why dont people assume dating a coworker will work out?

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    • Hm. Interesting way of looking at it. But best of luck to you! Hope it works out in your favor!

  • Its risky. What if you guys break up and end up hating each other?

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    • Yeah. Like my best friend went through a bitter break up with a girl and they see each other damn near every day (granted he hates her more than the reverse. And they dated before becoming coworkers, but it totally still applies)

  • just dont. dont even consider it. go for a fish in a different pond, man. bad idea. the whole thing. bad idea.

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  • If you work in a restaurant, it's the thing to do!

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    • I do not work in a restaurant! But I didn't know it's a common thing for that to happen in those haha

  • Depends on your feelings the most (do you),
    but after that,
    the person and workplace expectations and level of enforcement.
    Some workplace do not have an anti-fraternization policy.

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  • I think it's fine as long as the couple remain professional in the workplace.

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    • I totally agree. I wouldn't be the type to scream to all my coworkers "Guess who is a couple now!" I like my privacy, and like to think I'm mature for my age (I hear a lot of that from my friends haha). But I'm hoping she is too. She seems to be from what interaction I know about her. I'd like to know for certain though. But thanks for the opinion. It's appreciated.

    • No worries and never mind worrying about 'breaking up' when you are not even together yet. You have to learn to walk before you can run, so take it easy, enjoy her company and see what happens.

    • Very very well put. Thanks, I appreciate the posting. And I'll keep that in mind

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