Why aren't my online dating messages getting responses?

My profile is well written and when I send my first message I make sure I point out something from their profile what we have in common. My messages sent are read


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Most Helpful Guy

  • One you are a male, she will receive 100 messages to every one you receive. She can afford to be picky on who she selects to respond to. Maybe you are aiming to high, lower your standards a notch or two and you should receive more responses. Be original in message as well, not weird origami but funny. Stand out from the crowd.

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    • How do you know I'm shooting to high? Addumptions

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    • Don't send generic messages. Example - "Hi, I see you like movies. I also like movies. Hey We Both Like dogs."

      Try- Good afternoon, I see you like Godfather. Great movie. What's your favorite line? Well let me make you an offer you can't refuse. How does a coffee and a dog park sound? Hope to hear from you soon.

      Ask questions. That way they have more of a base to reply to. Try something along those lines.

    • The one you told me to try are the open ended questions I always asked

What Girls Said 4

  • Women on dating sites often get ridiculous amounts of messages, often from creepy or just irritating people. You really can't expect them to respond to every single one. Though it would be nice of them to try, I think it's perfectly reasonable for them to just be too swamped with other messages to send anything back.

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    • How are you sure that every woman is getting swamped?

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    • I bet the hot guys get responses

    • Probably not if they're creepy about it. Besides, people can use fake or photoshopped pictures easily. Any intelligent person wouldn't judge just by picture.

  • Unless we have a sample message, there's really not much more I can tell you than to keep trying :c there could be tons of reasons, but as someone else said, sometimes women just don't have the chance to get to all of the messages, and will only spring for the ones that stand out most. But don't fret! Someone will answer eventually. Good luck <3

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    • No its because women are superficial and focus on looks

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    • I don't consider it rude at all not to respond to a message. If anything, the last thing I'd wanna do is get a reply back and think "Oh she interested..." just to see a message saying they are not interested.

    • Oops... sorry for posting on someone else's thread.

  • Just not interested, or lost internet connection :/

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    • How can they not be interested if they've never met me

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    • What do you mean nothing like me? Is that an insult so I can report u to admin

    • Read what you said below that comment. Then you will understand why I said that. Bye now

  • Maybe they just interested in you. haha

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What Guys Said 10

  • I've met a good number of girls online and they get many messages daily. I'd say they average around 30-50 a day unless they are fat... but even fat ones may if they just have a face only photo and play it off right.

    Honestly, I really feel that in person interactions are better if you can pull them off. I've done online dating for like 3-4 years and lost interested. The amount of effort just to meet someone who never really ends up being what their profile described is outrageous. Plus, if you read the profile carefully look at what they're looking for. I'm seeing profiles of girls who don't realize how stuck up they sound. I read one where the girl said she wanted to drop outta school and become a stay at home mom. That means she wants someone to pick up her student loan debt while she just takes care of a kid.

    You may read all these profiles and think they're great catches, but they're not. I've caught many girls lying online. I've found out girls are not single (engaged or married), found out that they're lining up different guys for different days of the week each offering dinner, caught one lying about how she owned a house when she didn't, caught one misrepresenting herself as a professional businesswoman who was nothing more than a door-to-door salesperson making no money, got stuck with one using an overhead selfie hiding her weight, got stuck meeting one who used outdated photos when she was thinner, the list goes on, even met one who never matched her photos at all, different hair color and everything.

    Worst of all, most of these girls I saw years ago are still online asking where all the good men are. That right there is a sign that there is probably something wrong with the girl. Granted they could have dated a guy seriously and it not worked out but I honestly don't think they're getting very far on their dates

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    • I actually was engaged cuz of online dating, also lost my virginity and got my first and only gf last year

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    • Be glad. You're dodging bullets really.

    • What do you mean? Can't you see I wanna hook up with women

  • Let me ask you something. How many women have you actually approached in the last month? Or just talked to? I'm not talking about women online. I mean in person? How many times have you been rejected? Probably not enough. The online dating world is a rough world where women only give you a chance if you satisfy a long list of their requirements. Girls probably get enough messages that they get to be very picky. If you're frustrated with online dating then get out there and start asking girls out in person. It's easier to like someone after talking to them in person than from just a picture. Now go out there and get em!

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    • I've never approached a woman in my lifetime

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    • I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to respond to that lol. I am definitely not a go getter. But anyways. That's about all I can do for you. I can only try to motivate and encourage you so much, but ultimately it's up to you what you want to do with your life. I really do hope you'll take my advice and maybe get out of your comfort zone a bit. Goodluck my friend!

    • So I can get my heart stumped on 100 times

  • Hey MTL_GUY78 you're back. Haven't seen you around for a while.

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  • They aren't interested probably.

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    • Ok but they could be adult about it and say not interested, it's only after a guy took the time to send her a message

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    • I don't care about their appearance

    • Yeah well that increases your chances then.

  • They're not attracted to you or they're not interested.

    It's not the end of the world.

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    • How could they not be attracted to me? It is the end of the world because I'm 36 and at this rate I'll never be married. life is passing me by right in front of my eyes

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    • Sure, tons of people get married younger than you (and me--I'm unmarried at 31). And lots of people also end up in bitter divorce because they married too young too.

      You shouldn't judge yourself by such an arbitrary metric. You'll meet the right woman as long as you keep putting effort into it, and you keep giving yourself chances to succeed.

      It might take some time, and it might be frustrating, but good things don't always come easily, ya know?

    • who's going to want me as an old man and I want to be in romance when I'm young and I want her to be Young

  • Online dating is a numbers game stacked against guys

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  • You sounds creepy on GAG so Don't get your expectations too high on online date.

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  • Because you're a guy. Don't waste your time with those sites. A girl will only answer if she thinks it's a Romeo wtih lots of money and a fine car. Trust me I wasted about 3 years on those none sense sites.

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    • Even though it didn't work out because of online dating I got my first and only gf and I got engaged

    • As another poster said girls on dating sites have their expectations way to high. They're offensive towards guys before they even meet them and their expectations are ridiculous. Girls on those sites are looking for a prince when they're far from being any princess.

    • So true.. finally someone agrees with me

  • It takes time. When I first started with online I could hardly get an answer. Now I have more phone numbers and dates that I have time for. I'm not in great shape and not a catch by any means.
    Keep working on that first message. It has to be either:
    1. Funny
    2. Arousing curiosity.
    3. Complimentary. This one is tough. Don't comment on appearance unless you can tie it to her as a person. Example: I love those hazel eyes.. they reflect intelligence, etc etc etc
    Good luck!

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  • cos people are weird on the net and there's a surplus of guys.

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    • Ok well why not pick me

    • i had an online dating account once, had the same thing, depends on the types of girls ur messaging. the ones in short-shorts, and tube tops probably only respond to guys with gigantic muslces and a singlet or no-shirt. in other cases, i think a lot of girls make accounts without any intention of really using them, girls are probably a lot less reliant on the internet to find a partner.

    • I actually met my ex fiance who was my first and only gf last yr. This has to be my only hope

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