My fiance refuses to meet my mother, what should I do?

So I have been with my fiance for going on a year and a half now. I met him in the town where I attend university. I have met his father, mother, sister, and brother-in-law, as well as a few other family friends during our time together. Because I go to a school that is a ways away from my hometown, and my family has not been to visit me, he has not had a chance to meet people from my side. In the last year, I may have repeated certain things that my mother said about he and I, and there have been certain situations in which where unfavorable for for all involved. Because of some of these things, and monetary promises that were made to me but broken, he has said that he does not want to meet her or my younger brothers. My mother is open to meeting him and so are my brothers. But my fiance has said that if he ever did meet her, he would have words with her because of the way she has treated me. My issue with the whole situation is that he doesn't seem to understand that my family means a lot to me and that it hurts deeply every time he talks against them. He is more ready to meet my father who has not been "present" or helpful since my parents' divorce in '07. I don't know how to get this through my fiance's head. Should I just leave the situation alone? Is there anyway I can remedy this? Is this the right way to start a marriage?


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What Guys Said 1

  • bad bad bad very bad

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What Girls Said 1

  • Hell NO this isn't the right way to start a marriage! If the guy won't meet your family then he shouldn't be your fiancĂ©! That's what a marriage is... merging of families and LOVE! And if I may point something else out (while Im on one, lol) since when did the issues you had with your parents (prior to meeting him) suddenly become HIS problem. Tell him to STFU and mind his own business where YOUR family is concerned... ESPECIALLY while he's choosing NOT to be a part of it! Im sorry but you're very young, so don't think you have to marry this guy. There's men out there who will not only love you but love getting to know your family FAULTS and all. If he can't accept them, how much can he really accept you? Please show him this if you dont think he will understand and I'll tell him, "MAN UP to meet your "fiancĂ©'s" family or you'll be the one looking like the ASSHOLE! A REAL MAN knows when it is the right time and right place and bringing up the past upon meeting her family is NEITHER! Have some respect! If you can't do it for them, DO IT FOR YOUR WIFE or I guarantee there will be another man that will! As for marriage - keep in mind it is for the rest of your life! Its not something to be entered into lightly (thats why the divorce rate is so high). Keep the energy positive when putting your lives together... don't give birth to a life of misery because you chose to start off on the wrong foot with her family!"

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