Hang out vs. date. Confusing mixed signals- is he just nervous or not interested in anything more than being friends?

We met online and the first time he asked me to "hang out" for a coffee, we ended up seeing a movie after the coffee and having lunch. Everything went well, there was never an awkward quite moment and we paid for our own stuff which I was fine with.

The second time we "hung out" we went to an arcade, which of course meant I tested the waters to see how close I could get. He didn't seem to notice, then suddenly after we beat a game he goes in for a hug then stops and apologizes... what D:? no! hug me please.

Were going to hang out again for the third time, if it is just nerves what would make you guys feel more comfortable? I've already pretty much danced around with a green flag on my head indicating I wouldn't mind if he got a bit more psychical.

But question within a question- would you be tuned off if the girl you were with made the first move?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like he is interested in having a relationship with you (why else would he want so much one-on-one time?) but he is afraid to make a move for one reason or another. I think it would help for you to make a move. When you are standing together, stand close and maybe lean into him a little bit (invade his personal space in a flirtatious way). When you sit beside him, scoot up really close to him (invade his personal space in a flirtatious way). You know, start sending strong signals of interest.

    Note that he might pull away from you, but only because he is surprised by the unexpected and unexpectedly strong signal, not necessarily because he is uninterested. If he does pull away, then give him at least an hour to think about the situation and to decide on whether he wants something more than friendship with you, and then send a second unmistakable signal so he can respond in a way that better reflects his desires. If he pulls away the second time, then you should call it quits on pursuing a relationship with him.

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