I've been seeing a girl I really like but she won't commit to a relaitionship as she say she doesn't trust men?

I've been seeing a girl I really like for about a month and who I would like to have a relationship with, but she says she’s not ready for a boyfriend. She says she’s been cheated on by just about every boyfriend she’s had, so does not trust men and has been having a rough time of it this year and doesn’t want to be hurt. She has been more than honest with me and told me this and said she'd like to carry on seeing me but if I didn't want to she would understand. We go out on dates and we have been sleeping together so I see it as a bit more than just friends, she has told her parents about me, which I see as a good thing. there is a 13 year age differance and i dont know if this could be effecting it in any way she is the younger. Sometimes I get the impression she is holding back, but then it will just go cold and I mean ice cold. I have told her how I feel about her I’m crazy about her but told her I’m in no rush and I’m willing to wait and gain her trust but the truth is there is nothing I want more and the whole situation is starting to wear on me a bit the more time I spend with her the more I feel about her and funnily enough the more time spent away from her makes me want her even more. So how long do I wait I’m really looking for a relationship and don’t want to be falling more and more for a girl to just get hurt my self. Any advice would be appriciated thanks


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well ask yourself this, can she trust you? Are you trustworthy and do you know that for a fact? Then MAKE her trust you... or should I say HELP her trust you. Dont ever tell her "you can trust me, blah blah blah" it just sounds like every other guy that in the end she really could not trust. SHOW HER. How do you do this? Just be you and stay genuine never let her think otherwise of your character and also make yourself vulnerable to her because when she sees it she will also feel comfortable to do the same as well

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    • i have to her I don't expect her to trust me just because i say you let me earn it

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    • I'm sorry to keep bugging you but the ongoing saga continues she went cold came over Friday was an awesome night I honestly felt the earth move then the next day she sent this
      I'm going to be 100% honest here. I absolutely love being with you, I love spending time with you. I think your great and we have a lot in common. I know we haven't known each other long but I see you as my best friend. I don't want to ruin anything but I don't see a relationship between us. I've got a lot going on and I don't want that, but even if I did I don't think we'd work as a couple. Hope I haven't ruined everything here :-( xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
      So I asked why she didn't think that she said there is no spark so she said she wants to carry on as is sleeping together etc I said ok friends with benefits she said no didn't want to be my fuck buddy as men don't respect them I was like what do you want she said to be friends I'm starting to get the impression she hasn't got a clue what she wants

    • Oh geez :/ you knew she wasn't worth your time so why did you let this happen? Someone who continues to cause yout feelings to go up and down up and down up and down... they are for you :/ someone who was really for you would be consistent with you has she been? And in fact she even felt like you wanted something so she was even nice enough to let you know that she wasn't there for that she's just there for business nothing else no play she wants hers and then afterwards she's back to treating as nothing more than just a good time you see? Seems like you want something and she doesn't so just tell her, hey I like you as more than a friend you obviously dnt want anything more and so I think its best we stop speaking that or just keep her around for play time meanwhile dating buut we all know ridding yourself of feelings and keeping something casual will never wrk you gotta get rid of her she's pretty much told you she's there for fun

What Girls Said 3

  • Hi, this is LukaChan's boyfriend. My girl has distrust for men too, but I've slowly shown her that not all guys are untrustworthy, and slowly she's started trusting me and men
    It's can be a long process, but if you love her then stand by her and help her any way you can.
    Good luck man.

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  • It sounds like you are in a relationship already to me, just without the label. I say relax, enjoy the time you spend with and hopefully it will be named in the future.

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  • Give her time. Trust your gut too, don't get swept up in romantic fantasies keep your wits about you. But be patient just enjoy the ride

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yip , she is probably hurt and scarred so many times she has some pretty high walls
    to break down.. Right guy , and time she will let them down slowly..

    Basically.. you going to have to earn that trust and win her over...

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