I am now disillusioned with Asian girls. What should I do?

Hi,

I am an Asian American guy. I recently moved to Washington, DC area from the South, and am shocked to see more than a half of the Asian girls here dating White guys and refusing to date Asian guys. I always knew Asian girls had White guy fantasy. But, I didn't know it was to this extent!

I started researching more about this and have come across many posts like "Asian girls do whatever White guys want in bed with no question", or "Asian girls always go for White guys first, and if they fail, they settle for Asian guys", "Asian girls always talk shit about Asian guys", etc. My self-esteem is crushed. It's like being told by my own people that I am not good enough because I am Asian and not White.

I strongly prefer Asian girls, but, have dated interracially before (white, latina, and black). But, I never had this "White Trophy" mentality or self-hatred of being Asian.

My questions are:
1. Generally, what percentage of Asian American girls prefer white over Asian? In DC, I think it's about 50% or more.
2. Do Asian American girls think of Asian American guys as "fall back" or "safety" option?
3. I am feeling a little paranoid that Asian girls that I meet will have this "White trophy" mentality. It's like I can't see them the same way anymore. Also, I don't want to date White girls anymore, because I don't want to add to this "White is the best" phenomenon amongst Asians. I don't need a white girlfriend to validate me or feel more "American".
Did seeing all these Asian girls flocking to whites change any dating pattern/behavior for any Asian guys?

Thanks for your honest opinion

Updates:
Thanks for your opinions guys. After moving to DC, I have been able to get with multiple Asian girls along with a couple of white and black girls. I am not really looking for dating tips. But, more about how Azn girls think and how to weed them out.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's interesting you feel this sense of obligation from "your people." It sounds like a big issue you have going on is you feel competitive with white men. You think they are trying to be better than you. Most of these guys just want to date someone they are attracted to. Do you think that's wrong? This competition thing is in your head though I think. Just date HUMANS you're attracted to. Does it really matter if x amount of white guys date Asian girls? Aren't you going to end up with only one anyway? Do you see what I'm saying? You're worried about a competition you've made up on top of the insecurities you have that are being projected to this competition with whites. White guys aren't the issue.

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What Girls Said 5

  • i don't know about washington dc but i think you should work on your appearance and try to find different environments to meet girls.

    i'm a japanese & caucasian girl born and raised in the states and as of yet i've never been attracted to caucasians/blacks/latins/arabs/etc.
    they approach me and i'm ok with being friends (sometimes) but i haven't found any of them hot.

    i have carefully selected my lovers and each and every one of them has been japanese and very cute. i am still living in japan primarily for this reason.

    it's not about race, it's about who i am physically, emotionally and sexually attracted to.

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  • I don't think it should affect you. Are you passionate and intense just as they are?

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  • i live in Australia and i rarely see Asian girls with white guys, more so Asian girls with Asian guys. This doesn't really answer your question but maybe its just the area you live in. Could just be the trend there. Or maybe it could be something to do with the question i just posted? Good luck

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    • hahhaa Is it the penis question? I am Korean and mine is 5 inches. I know for sure I am not considered big among Koreans. For what it's worth, I've had sex with a few Asian chicks that had sex White guys and they told me they like Asian penises because they are usually harder/stiffer. Only way for you to find out! :)

    • haha! the answer I've been looking for

    • See you're trying to be better lol.

  • I would totally date an Asian guy if he was tall and he lifts- white girl

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  • I'm Asian, and I prefer Asian, we all have our different preferences, it should not affect you, not all Asian girls are into white.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I don't really have a solution for your problem but all I can say is that I'm not even Asian and I feel your pain my brother. I can't help but feel that Asian women have some serious inferiority complexes when it comes to their own background and Asian men catch the flack for it.

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  • You should go for whatever you're attracted to; I've dated several Asian girls ( I tend to like slender girls with long dark hair regardless of race) but I've never gotten the feeling that they only dated me because I'm white. Perhaps some Asian girls have stereotypes about white men like the ones you mention above about Asian girls.

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  • Keep in mind, most sources agree that dating in DC is utterly horrid.

    And if I remember the stats, yeah, a large minority of Asian women marry white men... it could be in part due to culture differences. White guys are usually a bit more aggressive in dating than Asian guys are, I hear.

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  • First of all, Asian chix go for their white pickles. Simple as dat no matter how horrible they look or their personality, they will still get wif him. Sad but true :/

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  • I feel your pain. Hopefully you're only running into the slutty ones. Best of luck with the good ones.

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  • Validate? White chicks are hot...

    And, I don't have any problems. Get attractive.

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  • I'm half Asian and half white so you could say im a by-product of this phenomenon and honestly it's just about preference and i'm sure that there are a number of Asian women who would go for for an Asian guy :)

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