I have a boyfriend but he lives all the way in Germany and I live Arizona. It's pretty hard but we are making it work. We just want answers from people that have gone through a long distant relationship and how did you do it?
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The best relationship I ever had was mostly long distance. We had been very close friends well before we decided to have a romantic relationship, so that gave us a really solid foundation. It was a lot of work, but basically we tried to make each other feel like a part of them was there with us at all times. So it wasn't just a bunch of generic "I miss you so much" crap, but actually telling each other what we thought they would think of if they had been here experiencing such and such with us, and what we would have done together.
She sent me cards almost every day, with a little something about what she admired about me, and something she wanted in our future. We sent each other small packages, and made mix tapes where we each completed a side. We used some of our phone time to talk about what we wanted to do to each other sexually the next time we saw each other, and when the opportunity arose -- about every six weeks -- we spent as much time together as possible.
Frankly, I can't conceive of ever feeling more loved than she made me feel.
We eventually wound up a living a little closer for a year, and took turns seeing each other on weekends.
Then she went abroad. I had a map up in my room to keep track of all the places she would mention visiting in her emails. Unfortunately, her interest in continuing he relationship waned, for a number of reasons not worth getting into here. I tried to lay out clear plans for our future, as if to say, "After we get through this everything will finally be perfect," but not being able to truly share our experiences and physical companionship made it hard to envision that future.
The relationship didn't survive her stay abroad. When she returned home she dumped me. 32 months we made it work the best we knew how, and I would not trade it for anything, but to me it's failure speaks to the difficulty of maintaining something like that for so long without the means to be with each other day in and day out.1