What's your thoughts on a long distant realationships?

I have a boyfriend but he lives all the way in Germany and I live Arizona. It's pretty hard but we are making it work. We just want answers from people that have gone through a long distant relationship and how did you do it?


0|0
4|7

Most Helpful Guy

  • The best relationship I ever had was mostly long distance. We had been very close friends well before we decided to have a romantic relationship, so that gave us a really solid foundation. It was a lot of work, but basically we tried to make each other feel like a part of them was there with us at all times. So it wasn't just a bunch of generic "I miss you so much" crap, but actually telling each other what we thought they would think of if they had been here experiencing such and such with us, and what we would have done together.

    She sent me cards almost every day, with a little something about what she admired about me, and something she wanted in our future. We sent each other small packages, and made mix tapes where we each completed a side. We used some of our phone time to talk about what we wanted to do to each other sexually the next time we saw each other, and when the opportunity arose -- about every six weeks -- we spent as much time together as possible.

    Frankly, I can't conceive of ever feeling more loved than she made me feel.

    We eventually wound up a living a little closer for a year, and took turns seeing each other on weekends.

    Then she went abroad. I had a map up in my room to keep track of all the places she would mention visiting in her emails. Unfortunately, her interest in continuing he relationship waned, for a number of reasons not worth getting into here. I tried to lay out clear plans for our future, as if to say, "After we get through this everything will finally be perfect," but not being able to truly share our experiences and physical companionship made it hard to envision that future.

    The relationship didn't survive her stay abroad. When she returned home she dumped me. 32 months we made it work the best we knew how, and I would not trade it for anything, but to me it's failure speaks to the difficulty of maintaining something like that for so long without the means to be with each other day in and day out.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 6

  • Me and my girlfriend started out long distance and now after 2 years together we're long distance on/off while I go between staying with her and attending college. Long distance can definitely be hard but if you can make it through it then you have a stronger relationship than most. I'll say that being in different countries is harder because it'll be pretty expensive to eventually see each other and one of you will have to leave your home country, that's something I never had to deal with as we were just 2 states away.

    The best way to keep the relationship alive is to talk to each other a lot, spend time doing things together, and both acknowledge that you're seriously committing to the relationship.

    1|0
    0|0
  • No bueno, seƱorita. Especially at your age (14) AND the fact he's impossibly far away, it won't last. Long distance CAN work if you're an adult and have the resources, but it won't in your teenage years.

    Just don't get too committed. If you're in it because you guys care about each other that's fine, but don't try to fall in love because both of you are gonna get burned REAL hard.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I was seeing someone that fell for... she had to move away... and she slowly became cold & detatched... and now we have no contact... hurts.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm guessing you have b cups? Anyways, I would not get into a long distance relationship because seeing them physically is imperative for me

    1|0
    0|0
  • That's not a real romantic relationship. Pen pals, maybe. Go for someone local.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I've been in one before. From seeing others do it as well as my own experiences, they hardly ever work in the end. If you have a long future of long distance ahead or no plans to eventually close the distance, then the odds are against you two.

    And even then, one or both of you would need to leave their family, friends, and home in order to be with each other. AND THEN it's a matter of even being compatible in person and being able to live together with normal issues as well as your unique issues.

    I suppose it would work out for someone that never goes out and meets people or does things where they live, so it's easier to look forward to that person. But not a whole lot of people are complete shut ins either.

    So yeah, that's just my take on LDR's. Not many people can make them pan out because only some people have the means to really make them happen.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 4

  • Im having one now!
    I really love him a lot so I will find him just right after I graduate from uni!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I can imagine you're situation I was in a similar one. He was in India and I in Florida. It was hard to maintain a relationship with so much distance. But we dealt with it, he would always say how he would miss me all day and how he wishes I was with him laying down cuddling and wanting me to be in his arms. Anyway point is that its hard. I'm not saying it's impossible because it could work as long as you both put time, effort, and there's communication as well as trust. Best of luck to both of you :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • It can work, but it's tough.

    I've never been in one but I've had friends who have tried it.

    For a lot of them it ends up not working out, either because they don't talk enough and forget each other or talk too much and become jealous and clingy. The trick is to find the right balance that works for both of you/

    I have friends who started dating senior year of high school... they are about to be seniors in college and they're still going strong. They go to school a few states away, and see each other on holidays and summers so that might help.

    Don't let anyone tell you its impossible. You can do it, you just have to be trusting and figure out what works best for both of you. Good luck :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • It needs a lot of determination and care to maintain a long distance relationship.

    If he really cares and loves you he will stay faithful. If his love is so so he will forget you gradually , even if he is not dating anyone else.

    It's torturous to love someone and be in a LDR. It makes one anxious.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...