I've lost the weight and gained his attention... does he deserve a shot?

I use to be a pretty chubby girl. Not morbidly obese, but definitely not at my ideal weight. I finally got my shit together and lost it all.

Anyways, about a year ago I took an interest in this guy and I REALLY liked him. I was totally (and still kinda am) completely head over heels for him, but he flat out rejected me. Now that I've lost a considerable amount of weight, he's suddenly became very flirtatious with me and even asked me out on a date. I don't know whether to be happy and go forward with pursuing the relationship or pissed because it took losing weight for him to realize that I was worth dating?

  • Go for it!
    Vote A
  • Drop his ass
    Vote B
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


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What Guys Said 5

  • Physical attraction is equally as important as an emotional one.

    You acknowledge that you were overweight before, and that he didn't find you physically attractive.
    Not you've slimmed down and he does. You can't fault him for not finding you attractive when you were heavier.

    • I agree with thomas and was going to give same reply.
      So 1 up voteπŸ˜€

    • It's not necessarily that I'm angry at him for not finding me attractive before, It's more worried that his attraction for me is only skin deep. I don't want to feel like he's just going to up and leave me again if I ever gained weight or my beauty faded.

  • Go for it.
    He didn't do anything criminal to you.
    And you know you were overweight and physically not that attractive so he rejected you.
    Now you are and he finds you attractive so be happy and go if you wish.

    Or if you don't want to date him you can say him no.

  • Nope, Vote B!!!

  • Is he overweight? Do you find him physically attractive?

    • No he isn't, and yes I do

    • Well, I think you should consider going for it. I asked those previous questions to point out to you that people aren't bad people simply because they don't find a person physically attractive. You found him physically attractive and he isn't overweight. Why is that different from him finding you attractive now that you aren't overweight? If, God forbid, he suffered an accident that disfigured his face, would you still find him physically attractive? You're not a bad person for finding him physically attractive. I'm sure there are guys who liked you who you didn't find physically attractive. Does that make you a bad person? I think not.

      Are you going to walk around with a picture of yourself when you were overweight and ask guys, "Hey, would you have dated me then?" and if they answer no, walk away?

      You're not a bad person for finding him physically attractive, and he isn't a bad person for finding you physically attractive. Go for it and enjoy dating him.

  • So, hang on. You recognized you had a problem and fixed it. Good for you. But you're harboring negative feelings towards him because he had the same opinion as you? That's not fair.

    I don't understand why people get upset about things like this. If your weight was so unimportant, why did you even bother?

    Presumably you would also be upset if you weren't any more attractive after all the effort you'd made.

    In life, things will rarely fall into your lap. There's nothing wrong with earning things through hard work. Go for this guy, or don't. Whatever. But bear in mind that the next guy might also have rejected you if he had met you back when you were heavier. So you're really just avoiding the issue.


What Girls Said 6

  • umm i am so sorry sweety to be that person to tell you but i think you should find someone else, because you should have someone that will love you regardless of they way you look or how big or thin you are. you want to find someone that will love you for you and will accept nothing less and won't try and change the way you look or act, you can do so much better :) and you deserve better :)

    find a guy who loves you for you not someone who judged you once for just being you and once you have changed for yourself act interested.

    i really hope this helps you and i hope you find a man who will love you unconditionally :)

  • I would say don't even if you like him. That's a clear proof of how shallow people can be. After I lose all the weight like you, if it ever happens to me I'm definitely not giving my 2 crushes that rejected me a chance when I can find someone better. You need someone who likes you for who you are, not someone who anytime you will gain a little weight, or wear no makeup or i don't know, will back off.

  • Forget him. There's nothing wrong with a."chubby girl". If he couldn't see that before, that's his loss.

  • It doesn't mean he's a bad guy just because he's more attracted now. Physical attraction is just as important as anything else. Congrats!

    • True but it shows he is superficial and cares mostly about looks. I don't think he would make a very good partner.

  • how much weight did you lose? how much did you weight before?

    • I'm 5'2 and I weighed 140lbs and now I've dropped to 113lbs

  • Same thing happened to me. I give no one I knew before a chance.

    • Yeah, it's crazy how people treat you different based on something so insignificant

    • This boy that used to pick on me in middle school asked for my number last summer. Boy bye. The weird thing is he didn't remember anything he said to me. Goes to show how something so insignificant to you can scar a person long term.