Last week, a guy bought me a drink in a bar. I didn't find him attractive, but I decided to chat with him for a little to be polite. We ended up having a fantastic conversation; he's incredibly funny, witty, intelligent, and sweet. Later, he took me on a great date. However, I can't shake this nagging drive to change his outward appearance. I generally hate facial hair, and bc I like to keep myself fit, I sort of prefer fit guys. He has quite a long beard and he's sorta pudgy. He has an attractive face and as shallow as it sounds, if he just shaved and lost some weight, he would be my absolute ideal. I know I sound superficial and rude, but I can't help how I feel. Any advice?
Most Helpful Guy
First off, I don't think you should want to change him. But I understand - when people are your age, they want the perfect package. You're definitely being shallow, but you shouldn't be vilified for it.
To answer your question, there's a couple things you can do to help those specific things. If you don't like the beard, that's a simple conversation. Some guys like their beards, but if he likes you, it shouldn't be a problem. For the weight thing, you guys can go on dates that are more active. Go for a walk in the park or something. Depending on your location, maybe you can go on a hike. Or play tennis. Once you are a bit more established, you guys can go to the gym together.
But I wouldn't directly talk to him about the weight thing. If you think he's a little overweight, he's certainly thought it. And that could make things worse.1