How to let him down easy? Great guy, but way too clingy?

I started talking to this guy a few weeks ago and we've been getting along so well! He's super nice, so sweet and really really funny, I've really enjoyed getting to know him. We've been talking non stop for the past few days. Today, I had a lot on my mind and just needed a day to myself to sort some things out. I didn't check my phone or use the computer.. I check my devices at the end of the day and he's contacted me like 20 times, texts, emails, Skype messages, phone calls, voice mails, I have been completely bombarded. I like this guy, but the one thing I cannot stand above anything else is clingyness. It has completely turned me off of him. I feel so bad, because he is such a great guy, we've been planning our first date but at this point I think it would be a mistake to go on it as planned. How do I let him know without making him feel bad about himself? I know a lot of girls would love this kind of attention but I just can't handle it, nor is it fair to him to not be getting the attention that he wants in return. Any advice is appreciated!

Updates:
You guys have all given me really great advice so far so thank you! I just woke up and I have a bunch more messages, he keeps asking me why I won't answer him. Originally it was because I just wasn't checking my devices, now I don't know what to say.
I know for myself I need to end things. Whether you agree or not, what do you think the best thing to say to him is?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Jus tell him that you don't think you are right for each other, which is true. You need someone who is on the same level of affection as you and you two do not match in this department.

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    • This is stupid advice, Asker. Disregard this one.

      A guy being overly excited to see you is a GOOD thing. If u think otherwise you're damaged dating goods that us GaGers are unable to help.

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    • You're welcome!

      Its good that you're considering how busy you will be. If you can't give 100%, don't give anything. Its good that you noticed this.

    • Thank you for MH

What Guys Said 5

  • Dont blow him off just because HE LIKES YOU! Thats just illogically stupid.

    Just let him know not to blow up each contact medium u have.

    As a guy i cam understand where he is coming from.

    0He has a mentality of "she can't be reached by xxx, so ill reach her by yyy, maybe she hasn't checked xxx or yyy, or I'll use zzz. Still hasn't responded? Maybe i can reach her by aaa. Maybe she doesn't use aaa much. Ill contact u using bbb."

    This is just misguided persistence on his end. I wouldn't consider him a stalker. He's just overly excited to talk to a girl he is "hitting it off well" with for WEEKS (not days).

    You should be FLATTERED that you excite a guy this much. :)

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    • Haha I definitely wouldn't think he's a stalker or anything like that haha :P I'm just worried because truthfully I have so much going on in my life and I'm worried that this is showing me that I would just eventually hurt him. Relationships have to work for both people and I'm honestly thinking about both of us when I say if I'm unable to give him the attention that he needs, wants and ultimately deserves, I don't think it will work. The truth is he came at a bad time in my life and I just do not have the time for someone who needs as much time as he does. Nothing wrong with him, I just can't do. Some people need more from their relationships, usually I'd like to be able to give everything I have, but right now I don't think everything I have is enough for him. I do need to end this before we get too deep in it and it hurts more.

      Whether you agree with me or not, what do you think the best thing is to say to him to let him down easy?

    • I feel you're being too self conscious here. Just because he is excited to see u doesn't mean that he needs a lot of attention.

      Im telling you, the day he contacted u 20 times... dont think that he would need 20 replies to feel emotionally satisfied. All he wanted is a simply "hey babe :)" from you.

  • Tell him that you are very flattered for all the attention, but that you really appreciate his friendship more. It's better if you are honest, and sincere, and not talk down to him, treat him with respect, think of it as what if it were you in his shoes.

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  • You're turned off because he actually wants you? How about you be honest with yourself. You like the guy, ask him to tone it down a bit, and you're all good. Maybe if you paid him a little attention he wouldn't feel the need to bombard you with his own.

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  • Tell him not to send u too much msg's cuz ur receiving too many notifications. A few is fine but if u dont answer it, it means ur busy. Proceed to telling him dat u know he cares about u but he gotta understand dat ur abit busy doing other things so u feel sorry for not getting to him in time

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  • I think you should just be honest with him. Maybe you can still work it out. Iif you tell him that bothers you then he should respect you and stop being so clingy. If he can't do that then at least you never lead him on or anything.

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What Girls Said 3

  • He clealrly likes you and as you said he is one of the types who shows his affection. You know this is very hard to find.

    I think you feel this way, because you do not like him as he likes you :( The liking level is different than each other. When you like someone you like everything related with him. Those do not seem as clingyness.

    But i feel that you are good hearted person so you do not want to upset him. Give him another chance, then. He is just overly excited. That is all about it :) He will find a mid way , it is just the beginning of the relationship you know. This is normal.

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  • Just tell him that you don't like the fact that he keeps blowing you up with messages. He needs to know that you don't like it. He'll back off. If that's his only "problem", it's not worth it to dump him over it since it's so easy to fix.

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  • Tell him that directly. Hinting might not work, you have to tell hum that you need to do your own stuff too and that you dont like when he bombs you

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