What do I do now that his family doesn't approve of me?

I've had a complicated relationship with an Indian man for a couple years now. We at one point were dating, but we broke up and have still been hanging out (including sex). He has told me he has loved me, he has wanted to be with me. I have been scared to get back with him because the time when we were dating was a roller coaster. That being said, I have recently realized that I love him and I want to be with him. He has had his parents (currently in India) all over him about getting married. He has been trying to hold them off because of me. Both he and his parents are strict vegetarians and follow a non-Christian religion. I eat meat and am Catholic. He recently told his parents about me and they want nothing to do with me. He needs to go back to India in December to renew his visa and they are desperately trying to quick get him engaged and married off when he goes there to get him away from me. I am beyond heartbroken. I am trying to get him to push back against his parents and hold off; that although we haven't been technically dating, we still had something going on. I keep wanting to talk about it and try to figure it out and he gets mad at me. He acts like there is no hope because of my religion, my family's religion, and the fact that we all eat meat. His family would never accept me and they would disown him. I've tried to back off on talking about it because he has a lot of pressure and he's sick of hearing about it, but December is not far away. I want to fight for him. There are a ton of details I haven't touched on, but that's the basic issue we face right now. I love him so much and hate to lose him like this. Any advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You have fallen victim to falling in love with someone of a different culture. Its things like this that makes it extremely important that we understand other cultures.

    The first thing you need to realize is that you can't blame his family for not approving of you. Your boyfriend comes from a traditional Hindu family that strictly believes in love and marriage within the reigns of Hinduism. This is a culture that if you marry, you don't marry one person, but the entire family. That being said, as a Roman Catholic you will most likely never earn their approval. Its not their fault, its just their culture.

    You also have to look at yourself. If you are a devout Catholic, are you willing to dedicate your life to man who believes in a polytheistic religion that is not even remotely close to what you believe? If your religion is very important to you, then this can be troublesome.

    I obviously don't know this man, nor you, but this relationship, simply due to your cultural differences, are most likely doomed. There are too many obstacles, and the only way your relationship can flourish is if you can convince him to disregard his family in order to choose you, which in itself would be incredibly unhealthy. Add that to the fact that, as it stands, you're technically not even committed to one another in a relationship, you have an absurd amount of obstacles in front of you that are nearly impossible to overcome. Regardless of my pessimistic outlook for your situation, good luck and I hope it works out for the best.

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What Guys Said 2

  • If he isn't willing to push back against his parents, you'll be miserable in a married life with him.. the sooner you break it off, the better. Sorry, but that's how it looks from here!

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  • I was in that situation, her mom didn't like me. He sounds like he dont love you, if he did he would fight and rebel against his parents.

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