What do you think about friends with benefits?

What do you think about friends with benefits? Ok or should it turn into a relationship? And just be friends?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly I don't get why girls give in to guys who only want to be fwb. It's never going to be more than that!

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What Guys Said 7

  • friends with benefits is fine as long as you understand that about 98% of them do NOT turn into relationships. By definition, a friends with benefits relationship is one where BOTH people go in with the full understanding that it is JUST casual sex, and will NOT become a relationship and that neither party should expect otherwise.

    The problem is that most women, and some men, simply cannot separate sex from their emotions, and will grow attached and will want a relationship sooner or later. As a percentage, men are FAR better able to separate sex from an emotional connection than women, so in most (but not all) cases, it's the woman who will want "more" from a friends with benefits and a guy who will want things to remain just as they are. That's due to a difference in brain chemistry between men and women: women release a hormone called oxytocin during sex, which causes them to bond to the person they're having sex with.

    Generally, women who can have casual sex relationships (and thus don't seem to be effected by oxytocin bonding) have had some kind of emotional, physical, or sexual trauma that makes bonding difficult for them in general, but again, there are exceptions.

    As a rule, though, friends with benefits tend to be better for guys than for girls, because the girls get attached and want more, and the guys don't. That confuses, hurts, and often angers the girls, even though the girl presumably agreed to the premise of the friends with benefits in the first place.

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    • Where is this percentage from?

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    • to this day they have never seen any of them want more, when they started off just wanting sex. in a few cases the guy wanted more, and they had to stop the fwb, and stop the friend shop bc he was pissed.

      i realize 50 or so people is not a huge sample, but its enough for me to consider the results.

    • I won't speak to the validity of the exact percentage given, since I don't know what the correct percentage is, but it sure sounds right. I have seen HUNDREDS of women get hurt from "friends with benefits" relationships (which really makes you wonder, "friends"?) and then get hurt again by men who do not want to get into a romantic and sexual relationship with someone who has had sex with so many people. Watching women get into these relationships feels a whole lot like watching moths fly into flames.

  • Honestly, I think its a sad relationship. Its very selfish, awkward, confusing and degrading. I think most people who engage in them either have emotional problems from the past (probably linked to sexual behavior) or they are having a temporary problem with another issue like loneliness, depression, low self esteem, low self worth, etc. Very few that engage in them are there "just for sex". There are deeper reasons behind the desire for this type of relationship. This is especially true for women. Sex is more emotional for most of them than it is for men. There are of course people that want this relationship just for sex.

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  • Have you ever watched moths fly into a candle flame? Do you remember that anger you felt at just how senseless it was? Do you recall all those times that you looked at a moth and you couldn't not bring yourself to feel any respect for them? That's how I feel about people who get into friends with benefits situations. It's senseless and self-destructive behavior.

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  • It's up to you. I like the friends with benefits route, but if you don't then don't. It's your choice. The popular choice is exclusive relationship.

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  • They are fine if you know what you are getting into. But the odds of one of you catching feelings is high

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  • it's ok I have a few

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  • friends with benefits is cool. if both want it

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What Girls Said 3

  • I'm currently in a friends with benefits situation, been in it for a little over 4 and a half months now. I do have very strong feelings for the person I'm sleeping with, he's become one of my really close friends and we get on really well. Most of the time when we are together people could easily assume we're a couple. But he is also sleeping with one other girl, who I have heard of and seen from afar but never had a conversation with her, and she knows of me as well. I think it can work if you're open an honest about what you want and how you feel. I am not sticking around hoping it could possible turn into a relationship, but from how its going it has some potential but I am not thinking that far. I would say with 4 months you could tell whether or not you want to be with someone but we had a minor blow out so it has set us back a bit. We're working on strengthening our friendship, as well as continuing to improve our sex life (which is amazing btw). But it can work, just be honest and open about everything so no one gets hurt

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    • Yeah and most people think that friends with benefits and f**k buddies are the same. They aren't. They are still your friends and you can still have a emotional, close bond with them. People are just trying to make sense of shit they don't understand.

    • Yeah a fuck buddy is something completely different... that's just someone who hits you up once a week or so, just to have random casual sex with you. A friend with benefit is different, you actually spend time in and out of the bedroom. You are making connections with people and getting to know them. It's hard to not develop some sort of feelings for them but that doesn't mean you need to date them. Sometimes its ok just the way it is.

  • Well I don't see any benefits for women, whereas it seems quite fun for men. And I don't think there is some chance to turn into relationship either. You give already you have, why man should try?

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    • if a guy would only want to 'try' bc you're holding off on sex, then why the hell would you want _him_?

    • @Azara Obviously we are not speaking the same language. That is ok. I kiss you and hug you girl <3

  • Nah uh I would not I know some dude asked if I would do that since I don't date and I was just like, nope, bye.

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