Trying to figure this one out... had 3 dates w/a successful man with 2 kids, the older one now in college.

Does he have major issues and should I see this as a red flag, or should I be flattered that he's confiding in me... His daughter in college is spoiled and feels entitled - has lots of anger from divorce and an apparently emotionally abusive mother. But she's rude and inconsiderate to him and it saddens him greatly. He's devoted to her and has been an excellent provider all her life, especially now, with all of her tuition and other living expenses; but she seems to have no appreciation or gratitude whatsoever. So, am I being too critical (it's only been 3 dates after all, but it's getting boring and a little depressing frankly, hearing about this issue every time we go out), or should I be flattered that he's comfortable and wants to share these feelings with me? Am I nuts or what?! He also knows I have a son who's struggling with growing up also so I guess he feels safe/comfortable/grateful to discuss these things with me--it just seems that this stuff would be better discussed later in the game...


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What Guys Said 1

  • Sometimes you (not you, him, lol) got to "be here, now." And on a date, you should be more about having a good time. And what I mean by the saying "be here, now" is: if you're at work, you got to focus on work. If you're on a date, then you focus on the date. If you're at school, then that's the focus. If you worry about school when you're at work and it lasts for a while (example) then you're not "here, now" and your mind is on other things, and like you said, it can be very distracting.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yeah, that to me is a red flag. I have a friend who always ends up with women who have tons of problems, one dramatic thing after another, nothing goes right and she ends up breaking up with him cause she "cant handle life right now" and he can't understand why this keeps happening to him.

    The one thing they all had in common, they started telling him about all thier problems right away...and it only got worse from there. My thought is..when you first start dating, you tend to show your best side..and then it goes downhill from there (lol! well, you know what I mean...) If that is what they consider the best impression, then I really don't want to stick around until I see all the stuff they are waiting to spring on me till they actually do get to know and trust me.

    Also, like Nash said, its not fair that you're on a date, and have to hear abbout his problems..youre on a date to spend time together, and have a good time together. If that's his idea of a good time...oooh boy!

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