Is there much point in trying to find a girlfriend?

I just seem to get rejected a lot which my friend has pointed out. She doesn't really know why and neither do I although she does think my default expression is that I look like I am angry with the world.
Is there much point in trying or should you focus on other things and hope you find someone when you don't expect it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • In this day and age "dating" and "relationships" tend to be a huge mess for a lot of people. Many are entering relationships not knowing what they're actually looking for. As a single guy who doesn't date much, but still talks to girls, I can tell you not many of them are worth dating anyway. We got girls looking for relationships to mask other issues in their lives and they also can take two extremes. They either look for wealthy guys who are "successful" or they date total trainwreck guys on drugs trying to "save them." Honestly, single life is so much better than dealing with girls out there.

    That's why many will tell you to let it happen naturally and simply just talk to girls without thinking it will go anywhere. When you date you can easily get caught up in "staged" bullshit and get to a point where you worry about the littlest things you said and if it'll still work. If a girl is gonna like you, she's gonna have to like you for you. Only improve things you really want to improve in your life. Never "improve" for a girl who just wants to take credit for having influenced you into "becoming a man" when it's just her version of what a "real man" is. It's a bunch egotistical bullshit that they try to play with you.

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    • Holy shit you couldn't have said it better, that's exactly they I feel

    • Although I am not so sure that they just go after wealthy guys, I haven't really seen that but I have sort of seen the drugs thing.

What Girls Said 6

  • I am kind of in a similar situation.. www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1067701-everyone-is-dating-but-are-they-happy you can read about it if you want to.. but i mean i think we just shouldt look for it and it will happen? just focus on yourself.

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  • Stop looking. What happens happens. If you stop looking, you won't seem desperate and you will eventually find the right person.

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    • I'm not desperate, I'd like one but it's not a necessity. I just feel that as I am 19 I ought to start making more of an effort.

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    • It's true that many guys that girls date aren't friendly. Those relationships don't typically last very long and if so then they're not very solid relationships at all. I do know that. I don't live in a little bubble. However you just proved that you are a typical 19 year old guy who would complain about being in the "friend zone" if a girl refused you due to an attitude. Believe it or not, "nice" and "polite" along with a good personality go a long way in a stable relationship. That particular way of thinking is exactly your problem. As I already said- you're 19. You still have a long way to go to take care of yourself. What happens happens but don't rush it because you nor anyone you wind up with would be very happy if you were only with them to say you're in a relationship. Girls actually do like guys they can have a friendship with first. Trust me.

    • +1 I don't see how being a nice person makes you unattractive. Being angry and playing this nice guy nonsense is far more unattractive to women.

  • Well, my ex boyfriend also couldn't get a girlfriend. He didn't date anyone (not even kiss) until he was 22... and he is handsome. He was just this kind of guy that was introvert (which seemed arrogant) and he didn't smile much.
    But with time (we worked at the same building) I made him smile and open himself. And I fell in love with him. So, I guess you just need to open up yourself. Just have higher confidence and believe you can attract someone. The world is not that bad, and it's full of good people. :-)

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    • That's a nice story :)

    • I need to meet more women like you

    • Hehe. Thanks.
      But apparently I was not enough for this guy. He broke up with me, saying that I saved him when he was depressed and I was amazing but he didn't feel the same anymore.
      So I guess I need to meet more man that actually value me and my efforts. :-)

  • The society we live in shoves the image of dating in our face every day. In nearly every movie, tv show, song, there is always some mention of attraction between at least two people. Often we are faced with images of ideal, perfect looking couples smiling and having fun and having good sex but IRL things take a lot more work. Men are expected to find a girlfriend so that it adds to their status. If a girl is attracted to him then it makes him feel good about himself. There is a stigma surrounding male virgins.

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    • Is the stigma with male virgins a big one at the age of 19?

  • Most super hot girls don't say yes the first time you ask them out. Maybe you are asking out girls who are used to being pursued, courted and wooed.

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    • Not really, I don't go after the super hot girls.

What Guys Said 10

  • "She doesn't know why"

    Uh oh! So you have a female friend, who you can have these conversations with, AND she 'doesn't know' why you are single?

    Sounds like your best bet right there.

    If that doesn't work, then you at least have a gal friend who can give you tips on how to be more attractive.

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    • I don't see what you mean? She is my friend.

    • Oh, you think she likes me? Haha no, she's nice and everything but I wouldn't want to go out with her. I like having a female friend like her.

  • Start looking at the world with a smile an then serendipity might happen unexpectedly.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serendipity

    Cheer up! :-) .

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    • I feel fine haha, it's just my default face but it's annoying because I can feel quite happy on inside.

    • Happy on inside? Let others know it.

  • Focus on other things. Life is not all about Love! There is so much to see in this world, why waste your youth worrying about girls? Travel, have fun with friends, and eventually, your time will come!

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  • Work on yourself could be studying, gym, hobbies, etc. When you have a positive vibe and are generally happy about life and confident girls will pick up on this for sure, and rejection is always part of it it's impossible to never get rejected. Keep approaching and talking to girls.

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  • With a stagnant economy and all that jizzum, I think it's entirely permissible for someone to avoid relationships all together.

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  • I've learned just to give up finding a gf a long time ago. They all want good looking douche bags with money.

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    • Do you want a good looking girlfriend?

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    • Nothing I do or try will make a difference. I shower, shave regularly dress normal etc. If you don't look like the Brad Pitts. George Cloney's and Channing Tatums of the world your screwed.

    • So every guy you see in a relationship with a woman looks like a Hollywood A lister? Get real man...

  • just focus on the u will get all qt the right times the people who are calm gets the more attention

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  • embrace the forever alone thing just like many of us did

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  • i dont think it's worth it

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    • Why?

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    • Nah bro. I told you bro. I dont make the policy

    • But that's what wasn't clear. You didn't say where the policy applied to what exactly I was talking about? Talking to family and friends or my aunty's views? Wasn't clear at all.

  • As the guy, your the hunter, so go hunting

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    • Less hunting, more fishing.

    • Eh, that suggests that we cast and see what we get a bite on, personally I survey the herd and decide who to take a shot at

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