How long should you date someone before becoming exclusive?

[Anonymous]

when is a good amount of time dating someone before becoming exclusive?

Updates

+1 y

he wants to go slow

[RedRhyno]

There is no real amount of time that you should wait. The only thing that matters is how you feel. If you don't have any desire to pursue anyone else and only want him in your life, it's time to try and become exclusive. If you would be upset about finding him with another girl, it's time to become exclusive. For some, that's after the first few dates. For others it's the first time you have sex. It just depends. Listen to how you feel and you won't go wrong.

[Asker]

he wants to go slow

[RedRhyno]

So wait for him to be ready. You both have to be ready for it. You may want to watch out to make sure he isn't just stringing you along. Take things slow with him and enjoy what you've got going on now.

[Asker]

no he isn't stringing me along. wait how would i know if he was? he thinks right now our schedules are hectic and in a relationship you need to devote time to each other and we can't do that right now

[RedRhyno]

At the end of the day, relationship is only a title. It doesn't mean anything more than you two are only interested in each other. In a relationship, you can give each other what time you can while knowing that the other will be there when you call.

Generally you can tell if someone is just stringing you along if they consistently put off starting a relationship with you. For most people, if they are honestly interested in you, they will want a relationship regardless of how hectic their lives are.

[Asker]

we text all the time and hang out avg 2 times a week

[RedRhyno]

That is more than some of the most successful relationships I've seen. Twice a week is plenty for a relationship.

[Asker]

dont get me wrong there are times we see each other 1x a week or skip a couple days texting

[RedRhyno]

My best friend and his girlfriend have forgotten to text each other for an entire week once. They've been together nearly two years.

[Asker]

he such a nice guy not a jerk.

[RedRhyno]

I never said he was. My point is that you could make this work with how often you see each other. If you happen to agree with me, talk with him about it and let him know you feel that way.

[Asker]

i just dont want to push a relatinship to be exclusive if its not what he wants just yet

[RedRhyno]

You gotta keep an eye out for what you want too. I'm not saying to push the matter, but let him know how you feel about it. You don't have to demand anything of him, just let him know that you would be perfectly fine with things staying just they way they are while being exclusive. That can mean the world to some guys.

[BrianG123]

After you have a DTR talk, which can only happen when you are both ready to have it. If he wants to take it slow, you need to give him time and space. But be prepared if he's not interested in a long term or exclusive relationship. Saying he wants to take it slow could just be an excuse for him to stay with you while still playing the field.

[Asker]

he thinks right now we have no choice for at least next couple months to take things slow

[psplot]

I think it all depends on you and the guy. It can be after the first week or not for a few months, the only thing that matters is how comfortable you guys are with each other and if both of you are ready for a relationship or not.

[Asker]

he wants to go slow. whats that mean? we been seeing each other 3months

[psplot]

I've been in a relationship that we went over 4 months without becoming exclusive. Sometimes it just takes time! Have you brought the subject up with him recently?

[Asker]

he brought it up on his own. he said he was just checking to see if we are on the same pg. and he isn't ready to be exclusive

[psplot]

Well then I'd just stay how you are for now, unless of course you decide you don't want to wait any longer, which is an understandable feeling after so long lol. But if you're happy for right now at least, just see how things go!

[Asker]

whats that mean see where things go?

[psplot]

See how/if the relationship progresses and if anything changes with your guy

[Asker]

how can i get the relationship to progress?

[psplot]

Lol I don't know if there's a way to actually do it, it's just kind of a go with the flow kind of thing.

[Asker]

i really like him alot. we only know each other 3 months

[Sabrinita21]

It depends on your relationship. My best friend and her boyfriend became exclusive after the second date, and since then they have 4 years together.

[Anonymous]

It depends on your relationship. For my bf and I, we were exclusive after the first date

[Outofthegrey]

This is why I love the show Scrubs, I get to do stuff like this:

“Who the hell cares what anybody else thinks? Just look into your heart and do whatever the hell makes you happy.”— Dr. Kelso

[Asker]

he wants to take things slow. whats that mean?

[Outofthegrey]

For me that would mean that I think the relationship has true potential and I want to make sure not to screw anything up.

[Asker]

he and i have a tough schedule right now. he says we both need to devote time to each other to have a a relationship. he thinks we have no choice but to go slow

[Outofthegrey]

People will always find time for what matters to them, but it does sound like he is making an active effort to spend time with you. He is correct to assume that moving at a fast or even normal pace when both people are highly busy would put too much strain on a new relationship.

From the sounds of things, the guy cares enough to want to do things right, and for all you know he is wanting to go slow because he plans to be with you for a long time and doesn't see a reason to rush.

[Asker]

he even mentioned maybe doing a hockey game around the start of the season

[NaturalTreasure]

3 months.
2 years, marriage or smash everything then move out.

Skip this anonymous stuff. women and guys need to be able to read your other posts.

[Anonymous]

Each case could be different but I suggest a wait of no longer than 12 years.