How to deal with a man who has is guards up?

In the past I've dated a man who lived 2 hours away and was previosuly hurt. it didn't hurt the relationship too much because he was long distance and the relationship couldn't really grow. So recently I met a guy who's a virgo and he has a guard up. He stopped texting and calling as much. When I point out he said it was because he has "family issues" and then mentioned another time that he was "working a lot". From past relationships he mentioned how he was cheated on and used for his money. HOWEVER, I NEVER asks him to pay for anything for me, nor try to give the impression that I am possibly talking to anyone else. Since we are not in a relationship its obvious that we would be dating other ppl. Dating others isn't a problem at all. However, if you are pulling away from me how are u still going out with other girls? So once I start to leave the situation alone he sends texts and do random calls. If you're not interested in giving me the consistency you once have given then why are you contacting me? I've stated what I wanted and how he is pulling away for a reason.

When I mentioned putting his guard down he said he just couldn't not yet. So I can stick around until that happens. In the perfect world I would love to, because when we're each other we NEVER argue and have endless fun! Staying over each other house and talked everyday. So I just fell back and then he would text me randomly but not really talking about anything. I stopped carrying conversations with finding things to talk about. Let him take the lead and when he texts me its so generic like "good morning, how are you?" then when I reply lol thats it. Another communication prob is when I say something to him he refers someone else. Or when I give compliments he would say that he is sure that I tell my male friends that all the time.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It seems like he's still defensive about his previous relationship experiences. I'm not sure that he's quite ready to let his guard down yet. If you give him some time and just be friendly with him he'll let you I promise. I did the same thing for a while because of a bad break up. He just needs to know that someone cares is all. Just stick with it, things will improve. Hope this helps!

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    • yeah thats what I was thinking!!! It do has it hard days to stick around. I will be friendly and try to be patient. At times my feelings are hurt because he pushes away :( All I want to do is care for him and love him. Its hard when someone can be mean to you at times.

    • yea I know how that feels. I've been on both sides of this situation. You just gotta stick with it and it'll work out.

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