How can I stop being afraid of being in a relationship?

I'm a junior in high school now, but back in freshman year I had a really bad experience with a guy.

For two weeks, I started talking to this guy a lot and liked him, within less than a week, he confessed that he liked me. Within the next week, I grew sick of him because he was so clingy and I felt that our relationship was going way too fast. So, I told him that I was sorry but I didn't feel ready to have a boyfriend, and he got really upset and acted really depressed at school. We had mutual friends, so that caused a lot of drama between our friends. Then a month later, I found out that he had been in a secret relationship with another girl around the week that we had been in an unofficial relationship.

After that incident, I felt that I couldn't trust guys any more.

So basically, I'm a junior now and have not been in a single relationship. I push all the guys away now (I used to do that before, but now I do it even more) if I think they're interested in me at all, like even just a little bit. This is a huge problem for me because I feel like it's impacting my social life too. I have never gone to Homecoming or Tolo (girls ask guys dance) because I'm not close to any guys and I don't exactly feel comfortable with them.

Lately, this guy that I have a crush on has been acting like he's interested in me, and I don't want to mess this up. I felt super trapped and restricted in the relationship with that guy in freshman year, and after I found out about him lying, I have trust issues. And I would hate if those feelings popped up again because of the impact of that incident.

Please help!! :((


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't let an immature boy speak for the reputations of the rest of the other guys, if thats the case you might as well not even try to date anymore, and thats not what you want. Letting him dominate your expectations for other guys is unfair for them and its frustrating.

    You need to find out if this guy likes you. I would just directly ask him. If he does, then tell him something along the lines of "I had a guy a few years back betray my trust, thats why I haven't been dating recently. I'm still dealing with trusting people so please be patient with me".

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well this is tough ):
    I have been cheated on and I know the crushed feeling you get when it happens.
    But you have to try, just because 1 guy is a jerk doesn't mean we all are, maybe give another guy a chance and you may be surprised, finding a boyfriend is about being out there (socially) and eventually letting someone in (socially)
    -Hope this helps :)

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What Girls Said 0

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