So this guy likes me and he's 7 years older. We made out and hung out a bit and were friends before, no sex or anything. So he went on a trip for a week and didn't talk to me so I thought we were done but it turns out that he's not gettin my texts or phone calls so there's no way to reach him. One day he texted me saying "hey I really miss you and I miss hanging out with you, I don't know if you are getting my messages but I'd love to see you, give me a shout tomorrow if you get this." so I haven't seen him for over 3 weeks and his friend saw me one day and told me he's falling apart, "his hair looks like shit, he's growing a beard, he drinks every fucking day. I don't know what happened." I'm not sure if I did this to him or not? I know for a fact he really likes me but I hope I'm not doing this to him. He probably thinks that I'm done talking to him but I didn't think that I would be a big impact on someone's life when they are 7 years older and we haven't really done anything too lol. Maybe something else is going on in his life?
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I'd make a point to see if he has suffered some kind of setback personally (like a job loss or demotion), or if he's having other problems, like a sick or dying relative or close friend. If this is what's going on, he is having problems coping, and using destructive behavior. Knowing someone really does care could be just what brings him back around.
However, if that's not what's going on, he has major problems, and these problems will NOT get better with you in the picture. All that is going to happen is his problems WILL become your problems. If you're not prepared for that possibility, you'll do yourself a great disservice staying with him. If this is what's going on, just tell him that you care about him (which you obviously do), and you'd like to help, but he isn't in a place where you can help him. Once he figures out what's going wrong with himself, and is ready to help himself, you may be able to be there for him again, but for now, you just can't.0