Independent women; yay or nay?

I'm not really an independent woman, but several guys have said so. I got friend zoned once because he said I was too "independent." Is i independence a turn off for guys?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not independance in my opinion. It is a lack of ability to open your heart to someone.

    I feel like you have seen heartache in others in times past, and it has caused you to put up blockades around your heart.

    You are simply not allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

    And it's not a bad thing!

    It is only a bad thing when you become this way to your love. I am not talking about some cute pop singer, I am talking about the man who wants to devote the rest of his life to you.

    You can choose to remain single, and hope you meet him (praying, of course...) or you can begin to peel back those sensitive layers of fear around your heart, and "shift gears" in your soul, to accept someone else into your life. I know, because I had those layers. getting past them is a very fearful thing. What if you get hurt? What if he tramples on your heart? Those are all possibilities.

    But you remain so closed off that it turns men off. Again- not a bad thing! There are many men out there who are not worth your time.

    One day, your eyes may fall on someone... Your instincts will align with your heart, and you will know... That he is the one.

    You have a very wonderful, deep beauty that has nothing to do with your face, or body. it has to do with your heart. But it is living inside of a cage, so to speak, you refuse to let it out. Let it out to the wrong guy, and you will be scarred forever. Which is why I say it is not a bad thing to protect it, for now, if that makes sense.

    But there is a man who is going to see how precious, and special you are. He will not be able to live without you. Do you both a favor and save the sex for marriage, though. But do work on becoming vulnerable in the deepest recesses of your fearful heart. You will be better off for it, but guard your innocence, and your virginity, if you still have it.

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What Guys Said 6

  • I wouldn't want a woman who is needy, but I definitely hate the independent woman attitude of "I don't need a you". There's a line in between there that is nice, to where a woman seems like she can be into the man and attached, without being clingy and overly dependent. If multiple guys have told you you come across as an independent woman then you're definitely giving off that vibe.

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  • If the girl is aloof as in she never makes time for me then yeah, that would kind of be a turn off. But I like when a woman can take care of herself, and doesn't need me to do everything for her.

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  • We don't want a girl that is a complete clinger, but at the same time we like to feel needed.

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  • In between.

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  • independent in what way? financially or in other ways?

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  • If you're a genuinely independent woman, great. But if you're one of those dependent women who keep talkin about how they allegedly independent, turn off.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It definitely seems that way. Out of personal experience I'd say that most men are just too clingy and it freaks me out, but that's because I'm wayyy independent. I rarely get hit on, and when I do I feel like guys get turned off by my apparent lack of interest. Makes sense, but it's still rather annoying.

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  • I'm not independent at all and I have no problems dating. I have friends that are mega independent and guys like it.

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