Can't attract the ones you want, but not attracted to the ones who want you? What to do about it?

After years of not even knowing if there are any women that have all the traits I'm looking for, it turns out they are not "unicorns" after all. There are very few but they do exist. But, I've never been able to attract one. We have things in common and can talk, but when it comes to attraction, I fall short. I've never gotten one of them to like me.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that the kind of women who would be into me are ones that I find simply unattractive. They're either missing the looks, the intelligence, the interests, or something. Now that I know there are women who have everything I want, I just don't see any appeal in ones who don't.

I'm caught in limbo, it seems. Have any of you found yourselves there too? What can I do to fix this? What did you do about it, yourselves?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's no magic relationship fairy that will come along and put The One you finally connect with in your path. You keep expanding your dating pool over a larger geographic area, or you change the things you are willing to change about yourself that you suspect are making you not attractive to the girls you are attracted to. Things you can change include your fitness, style, the way you relate to people, the way you spend your time, your career, and to some extent your career trajectory. You can expand your dating pool by traveling a lot, online dating, and meeting people through friends and family in other parts of the country/world.

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What Girls Said 2

  • This isn't an issue that falls into the fixable category, just keep trying and don't settle. You can't predict what your future has in store or who you will cross paths with, so saying never is an unrealistic point of view.

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  • this can be solved by improving yourself. I don't think this is a hot guy problem

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What Guys Said 2

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