Would you date someone with children?

GUYS: would u be willing to date a girl with a kid? or is tht not something tht u would want to get involved in? honesty please!

  • yes
    31% (34)28% (30)29% (64)Vote
  • no
    34% (38)43% (46)38% (84)Vote
  • maybe
    35% (39)29% (32)33% (71)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I tried to multiple times and it was always a disaster. Many of them can't date because they can't get a sitter and with me already having limited time with my priorities I can't afford to go outside of work schedules and stuff for it.

    The worst is how I talked to some of them and the stories were absolute hell and I stopped talking to them. The ones I talked to were obsessed with revenge on the ex telling me their plans to take them to court and what they were gonna try and charge them for. I had to listen to their custody fights and their plans to sabotage their ex in court. One I know had a baby with a disappearing guy and slept around some more and just had another kid with someone else.

    Women I have met that have more legitimate stories... like 2 out of the many.

    Now when I get messaged online by a single mom I just don't reply. I don't have time for it.

    I think from a girl's POV, if the guy has primary custody, it's seen as a lot better. From what I notice, if a girl doesn't have custody, she flips out for fear of her reputation (excluding the emotional attachment to the kid here) so if the guy has custody, a future partner will see it as him really dating a careless girl.

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    • I have been through much the same thing. There are plenty of women your age without this sort of baggage.

What Guys Said 37

  • This is really difficult. I actually did some research into single-mothers once, and how difficult they have it.
    The problem with single mothers can be tied to the following "probable" (not necessarily actual; depends really) issues:
    - The child always comes first.
    - Schedule flexibility does not really exist.
    - Court laws in many states can ensnare men who date single mothers into paying child support if the child views the man as a father figure (how dangerous is that? How do you even determine when the child would see you as a father figure?)
    - The mother may not want more children, so the man will not be able to pass on their genes; no children from the father! Furthermore, a lot of men wouldn't even want to care for another man's child!

    I will honestly say I have no idea if I could even date a single mother. I enjoy my independence, my ability to relax and use my time as I see fit, my ability to be lazy if I want to, etc. A child, having personal experience with one, is extremely demanding.
    A single mother and her child would be way too much time investment. I would also feel weird around the child until I got to know him/her better.
    However, If I like/love the mother very much I would probably give it a shot.
    I put myself down for "maybe".

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    • - Court laws in many states can ensnare men who date single mothers into paying child support if the child views the man as a father figure (how dangerous is that? How do you even determine when the child would see you as a father figure?)
      - It's a very logical law: in my opinion the real father of a kid is the guy who educated the kid, MUCH more than the one who left his sperm in the mother.

    • So you would force a guy, who isn't the biological father but a perceptional "father figure", to pay child support for the remainder of the child's growth (until adulthood) even if the guy doesn't stick to a long-term commitment?
      I see an issue with that, and that "logical law" is one of the reasons why a lot of single mothers single mothers suffer in their dating life.
      I understand the reasoning behind it, as you've pointed out. However, it severely penalizes men who are simply looking for a relationship, and who end up falling out of the relationship. I think it is an unjust law, and the child support costs should be drawn from the biological father.

  • At my age (18), heck no. That would absolutely DESTROY my life. When I was older and out of college I wouldn't care, though.

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  • The issue is that in most cases the father is still in the picture because of the kids. This is a potential issue and certainly concerns you getting into a new reflation ship.

    I'm not saying deal breaker - but an issue.

    So to the girls rushing to have a kid in an insecure relationship - think twice. If it doesn't work out it is going to make future dating much more difficult.

    Ask my very attractive cousin toting around a child and dealing with her drunk idiot ex. Once you have a kid you have to deal with the ex for 18 years. Not fun.

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    • not always true about the ex tho. sometimes he doesn't even want to b in the picture.

    • AidenBlue , that's a problem I too fear. (there's not only the ex but also his parents: guess whose side they'll chose.

  • I would and i am dating a woman with kids anybody who said no is gutless to me and are not grown up enough to take on such a responsible task

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    • lol a little blunt but I like ur answer

    • The kids aren't the real problem: their dad and his parents are.

    • Nope never if you love someone then you take the good with the bad no matter what no excuses

  • I don't mind at all. I get along great with kids so for me it would be just fine

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  • I'm only 19, ain't nobody got time for that! But to be honest I have never been in a circumstance or context where I was required to make that choice, maybe perhaps?

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    • At some point you probably will be faced with that choice.

    • Unless I have children of my own and have a nice lifelong partnership with someone who did not have any before :)

  • It's a red flag, but it's not a deal breaker. I would inquire a bit more into the circumstances.

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  • No. If I'm going to raise children, they're going to be mine in every sense of the word.

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  • Yea i see no problem dating a girl with kid, i highly respect the mother and the child on all aspects

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  • yeah if she's a good woman I don't mind if she has kids, tho I may not want to really interact much with the father

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  • Complete turn off. U fawked up ur life. Parents tried to teach their daughters the right way but instead they resist and fawked up. Blame it on urself.

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    • what if the girl was raped. some douche fucked up her life then, not her.

    • U were raped cuz u dont believe and trust ur parents. U go out and get drunk with friends and party late night. Going out at night make u more susceptible to kidnapped and raped as well. Dont go out faraway or alone with bf or a guy friend that u don't know much. They could go crazy and rape u. All i say is.. observe them carefully before going sumwhere all alone with them as in going to hotel or y'all are the only person at home together. U never know what he's expecting to do to u..

  • It's a no for me.

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    • A lot of it is going to be based on age.
      I don't plan on even having kids for AT LEAST 5-6 more years, so I definitely don't want somebody else's.

  • Kids wouldn't be an instant deal breaker for me, but it would definitely depend on the circumstances. If she had kids because she was known to sleep around a lot, then I wouldn't want to get involved with that. Or if the biological father was still a part of her and the kid (s) life.

    When I was born my biological father was a POS. My mom didn't get married till I was 5 and she went to court with my soon-to-be adoptive father and got my biological fathers parental rights terminated. If I let kids be a deal breaker for me, than I wouldn't be as much of a man as my dad.

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  • Sure. I like kids.

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  • I did years ago she had her daughter that was 20 and I made love to both of them each one was every other day plus they both did not have tan lines cause they would lay out in sun in their back yard naked plus the three of us sat and watch tv naked in their home

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  • I definitely would if it were a good kid. Seeing how well she takes care of her child says a lot about her being responsible, caring, and rational. Another two pluses are that kids love me and my gf evidently puts out!

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  • i'm not going to help raised another man's flesh and blood... i have self respect.

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  • I probably wouldn't.

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  • It really depends.

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  • No, i am not ready for that.

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    • It does require a different mindset.

    • For me personally it requires me to feel complete as a person. I am not there yet.

  • Yeah. If things are going good for me, nice solid job and all, I'd love to lend a hand

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  • She'd have to be amazing to get me to date her. Like, gorgeous body, beautiful face, amazing personality.
    And I'd have to like her kids too; I can't date someone if I don't like their kids.

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  • Nope. Never. I love kids, I'm great with them. If the kid gets attached and things go sour between her and I, it isn't fair to the child.

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  • I have a kid too so I guess depending on the age it's be quite good

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  • I don't want kids, so I see no future with a woman who has someone else's kids.

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  • No I would not.

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  • NEVER EVER EVER

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  • No and never :D

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  • No, not really. I don't think I'm responsible enough to take care of a kid. I want all the attention.

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  • Voted 'yes'
    Under three conditions however:

    -Children under 7 or 8
    -Divorce over or ex (es) unknown
    -Sole custody for the girl, no visiting rights for the ex (es)
    Why these?
    I can cope with an unwed mom, her past and little kids, not with her ex and his parents. I can certainly cope with adolescents I educated, probably not with adolescents educated by another guy, bad enough to be an ex.

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    • And the exes' parents too will be a pain in the analcavity.

    • You've thought this out. I agree with everything.

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What Girls Said 33

  • In this day and age, there are a lot more single mothers and fathers out there. I think it is difficult for both a man and woman when they try to date someone with children, and they don't have any. Or, even more so if they do since it is 2 families to consider. But, worth doing with the right person. I have 2 kids and it's hard for me to make time to date, but I think I have finally found a guy worth the effort, and my children are older so that makes a difference. They are 5 now, but I didn't even try to date until they were over 4. Too much work when they are babies to try to date and get child care and not worry the whole time you are out on a date about them with someone else. So, depends on age, how many kids, and age of the guy... immature guys usually will say no as they can't handle caring for themselves much less even the thought of one day being a father figure to children that aren't theirs.

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  • So if I got asked this question a month ago I probably would have said no. But recently I started seeing this guy who has kid (s). Now I was a like no I'm probably not going to like him, but I decided to give him a try but I went in thinking negatively. I will tell you I am so happy that I gave him a try because this guy is exactly what I have been wanting in a relationship the connection we have is crazy. I think the hardest part about being a parent and trying to find love at the same time is very hard especially when I might have deal with baby momma. So to me its all about if that person is worth it. I do think everyone should give it a try even if they have a kid.

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  • No I don't want to be a parent right now, possibly ever. I don't mind raising someone Else's children. But I do not want children, I do not want to be responsible for the safety/development of children.

    Its one thing if the children are out of the house and self sufficient adults, but I would never co-parent a partners children. I would never date a man with children.

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  • When I'm older, I don't see why not. I did meet this guy who looked super young and was really smart and I was kinda surprised to find out he had a kid (toddler). I was taken back a bit, but after the initial shock, it didn't make a big difference to me. If he's loves and is good in taking care of his kid, he'd probably cherish you too. by the way the guy was 25 y/o.

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  • Maybe. I did accidentally hit no though. See I don't want children or take care of other children. I want the man I marry to be like me in experience thus meaning, never married, still a virgin, and such. I don't know why though. I might be with a guy with a kid or two IF there was not a guy out there who was matched in experience as me whom I loved very much. :P

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  • I said maybe because all the guys with kids I've dated we're so flighty in the beginning it fizzled out. They've been burned so bad they became tainted. The one guy I dated who wasn't waited a month to mention he didn't want any more kids. And I was 23 at the time... So that didn't last, not to mention he was a trucker and only in town 2-3 days a month

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  • Though I have a son most of this groups ages, I would think about it, if they are really young say 2 or 3 years old, my son is 23, I think I like someone with old children 12 or young adults 20 or above, be straight forward NOT YOUR MOTHER WILL NOT REPLACE HER, have to see were the need is in the house, be helpful, I have a step mom and it is not easy. LOTS OF WORK HAVE TO BE DARN GOOD TO ME AND MY SON, been alone along time. not fair to young kids be jumped around with DADS or MOMS friend...
    IF YOU HAVE A YOUNG CHILD BE CAREFUL or child, the right person will come along. by the way I GET ALONG BETTER WITH MY STEP MOM then I do my DAD.

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  • Kids are the ultimate dealbreaker..

    They are the Sexually Transmitted Disease which you have for life, and there is no cure.

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  • For me, I don't have kids. I don't think I will date with someone who has kids at some point. Voted B.

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  • I grew up in these kind of environment and I guess it's warpped my senses but it wasn't all beds of roses. It wasn't a loved one (strangely enough from my mum's part) but my step dad made it work with all he could, it was though but... I wouldn't wish to subject another kid to what I personally experienced. It's just my opinion.

    It was a matter of what if both parents didn't love or want us? I'm the first and what will I do with 7siblings?

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  • No. Too serious and too much drama and responsibility.

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  • Of course, I have children too, though they are grown up now. It shows that this man can take responsibility and care about others and he is worth it.

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  • No at least not right now in my life purely because I'm young and am still figuring things out.

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  • Maybe. I want kids so it's not a deal breaker.

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  • Way too young right now. I'd either be dating a possible sugar daddy, a pervy creep or a young guy who needs to get his shit together

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  • It depends on why he has the kids and slightly older kids are preferable.

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  • I would, but don't expect me to take on a mothering kind of role. I'm still at an age where I'm studying and getting my life together and I don't have the time to have children.

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  • At this point in my life no, in 5-7 years maybe.

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  • Most likely not. I'd have to be like, reeeally blown away at the amazing-ness of this guy. I can't picture it but you never know.

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  • I probably would have said no a few years ago but now at my age I'm okay dating a guy with a kid as long as he don't have 3 baby mommas or something like that.

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  • NEVER SAY NEVER. Yes I would. :)

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  • Nope and nope.

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  • I might as long as I'm not expected to actually take care of them the way their parents should.

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    • That's part of the deal.

    • Taking care of the kids is 100% normal and

    • I think that if u date someone with kids , you are expected to treat their children kindly and respsectfully but no u probably won't care for them in the same way the biological parents do.

  • Nooooooooooooope.

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  • my older sister is dating a man with three kids its actually not that bad

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  • Well maybe if the kid aren't brats and mom or farthers has no drama between them

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    • Kids need not to be 'brats', that depends on the parents.
      Drama with an ex and his mom seems unavoidable to me however.

  • I'm not way in any shape or form ready to have kids.

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  • I would not. Even when I'm older I wouldn't

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  • I would, but only if he would be willing to date me since I have two kids of my own.

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  • No. I have no desire to be a mother (not even if I have my own kids) so I would not put myself in a situation where I would end up being a mother.

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