Am I wrong to not say "I love you" back?

My boyfriend asked me out on the 8th of July this year andyesterday he told me he loved me and even before we started dating he tried to tell me he loves me. Every time he says it I tell him not to say it unless hw truly means it. Last night he said he does mean it and I just said thank you. He's only known me for a short time there's no way he could come to love me so fast, what do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To be honest, social media has transformed those tree words "I love you" into a big deal. In my opinion, he is able to tell you that he loves you, alright that's fine, if you don't feel like you're ready don't. Maybe he has never been in love with anyone and he might believe that what he feels right now is love. This might even be the case, but in my opinion, you can not be in love with someone before even having been dating. It is called "jumping in" because you jump into a relationship, you take a big commitment to be with someone without knowing if you will fall in love with the person. You start dating because you appreciate the person an feel sexually attracted, but love is something that can not exist right away. What can be is "blind-love". Basically, someone falls in love with someone, but the moment he/she notices something about the other person that he/she despises, this "blind-love" impression is shut off ;)

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What Guys Said 10

  • I can understand why you're feeling awkward about this, 'cause it's awfully soon for him to be saying that. I think you handled it pretty well. As long as he's a good guy and you want to keep seeing him, just tell him you thank him very much for saying that, but you want him to get to know you better so you can be confident he knows what he's saying. Basically tell him to slow down a little.

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  • don't say it back until u make sure that u love him other wise u r deceiving him
    good luck :)

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  • It's not wrong not to say it back. This is something you should only do when you absolutely mean it. Better not to just say it back just because your partner says it anyways.

    Just tell him you want to make sure of your feelings before you say it back. You can even add that you do care for him or like him a lot as well. That should be understandable for most.

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  • Don't feel guilty... just gently say that you're not comfortable saying that.

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  • to be honest its the nature of boys that if they spend a week with a girl they feel that they love her but its just for the time being.. its not love its just attraction of opposite sex. till now i have told it to many girls but i know i was serious with just one among them... :p

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  • Don't feel pressured into saying it, especially so soon. True love takes time to develop. Unless you knew each other for a while before dating, then it's probably just infatuation.

    My girlfriend and I starting saying "I love you" about a month and a half into our relationship, but it's long distance and we had talked on the phone and Skype for over 70 hours by that point (which is the equivalent of a lot of dates).

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  • if you two are dating, he loves you. I don't know why he would date someone for a different reason, lmao.

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  • if you actually said just 'thank you', you just sot him in his face xD
    but if yo are not comfortable saying that, explain that to him, dont feel bad

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  • Nothing worse than saying something you don't mean, especially this.
    Give it time.

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  • Don't say it if you don't mean it

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What Girls Said 7

  • If he really does love you and I believe that people can fall in love that fast because I have before then explain to him that when you say I love you you want to really mean it, and to give you time before you say it and he should understand. Plus it makes it that much more special when you do say it back. (:

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  • You say it when you're ready to say it, that could be tomorrow or 13,000 years from now. The point is to make sure you mean it and to say it when you're ready and most comfortable.

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  • UMMMMM!!! YEAH YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO NOT SAY "I LOVE YOU" BACK!!!

    How can a person you've known for a short time, expect you to "love him" back when you hardly known each other in the first place. I say this kid is desperate for the V. And is using the I love you card to hopefully get it sooner than normal. I think the way you handled it was perfect.

    And like @TadCurious said, tell him to slow down!

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  • I've seen this before. I would be careful. He may be too attached too quickly. I'd be especially careful with a guy who pushes you to say it back. He might be clingy. I personally find that creepy. I would get to know him better and see if his words match his actions. Trust your intuition it will save you.

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  • some boys say i love you after only a few dates. i don't say it until i mean it. i don't feel it's something to take lightly.

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  • it all has to do with what you are comfortable with, I had a guy who I had never met told me he loved me and I didn't feel comfortable saying it back even if I did have strong feelings for him, it takes a different amount of time for everyone and thats okay!

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  • dont feel like you have to say it. i think he might just be feeling excited. say it when you know you're ready and when you truly love him. you have to actually mean it when you say I love you or else it'll come off a little weird.. good luck

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