How do you tell someone your not interested?

I was having a conversation with someone and I said that I usually say that I have a boyfriend because it leaves no room for the person to try and change my mind. I have even used it when not in a relationship. What about you? What things to do you say when your not interested?


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Most Helpful Guy

What Guys Said 13

  • 1. What you say and do is the right thing and what a lot of women do cause it keeps away the persistent and obsessive ones whose egos are bruised if you simply stand strong and say 'I'm not interested' which in turn may turn into a situation that he may make you an object of his conquest to satiate his ego
    2. Here it's about discretion is the better part of valor
    3. Most time the more difficult a man finds a woman to be he wants to acquire her and may go to any lengths even stoop to conquer once she beings being his area of obsession even unwittingly. End of the day it's the woman who gets hurt in the bargain and in the same so do those who care for her, her job etc
    4. It's not about proving to anyone how brave or courageous a girl can be, it's about the better judgment :) Say a no firmly but with 'I have a bf / husband' etc helps. Ofcourse there are those who go to the extent of checking if you have one & confronting you about 'facts' which is where the police & courts come in :)

    Good luck young lady, do what you are doing - yes but understand what I've written :) Decide if you want to be hurt and in the bargain hurt those who love & care for you apart from depending on & looking up to you or better to hurt another person. Hurt and stuff is a part of life, it's again a choice one has to make as to where the hurt will reside :)

    Let's also understand a single mom, separated / divorced women etc are perceived kind of differently than single girls in college :) In such cases it's best if they are hurtful to those who approach them than be hurt themselves :)

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  • I usually just say I don't look at you in that way. I don't like to lie or say other things because I have been the receiver of these excuses and it just makes me feel bad that the person thinks he is being kind when they are just brushing off their responsibility. Be an adult and responsible, people deserve the truth even if it hurts. Well that is what I think.

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    • So your saying it makes it worse saying that?

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    • I know it's your opinion it others have said it to... It just hurts my feelings that I've hurt someone like that as it was never my attention... Even in a relationship I'm very careful of trying to not hurt their feelings..

    • Well, when it comes to people there is always a risk in hurting people. The thing that you need to think about it (in a relationship) that person chose you to be able to do that damage. That is what makes trust so important in human interaction.
      every one of the situations, asking someone out, asking someone to be in a long relationship, asking for matrimony. All of those things requires the person to be vulnerable to another. Hopefully the individual understands that, and is prepared for the risk.
      What I am saying is, if those things are normal where you come from, making excuses to not reject people, then keep doing it, i guess. I know I would try not to do that. you don't need to feel sad, because you do know the people you have done this to and if you have taken action on it you know what that person can or cannot handle. (I hope)

  • I just basically don't say nothing i say well maybe i can think things over, really am not willing to go into a relationship just got out of a bad one , feeling really sick lately got get myself back on my feet with stress related illness. If you got kids well my Aunt Sandy been watching the kids. The kids been staying with my
    cousin and her husband who have kids the same age. First all when you meet someone you got to always
    say something like my boyfriend and me have house things are going so so but we been having problems
    but you always say you wish things would work out. You always put yourself to make that you want a Best
    Guy friend never make it look like you would be interest in someone

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  • do not worry, do not fear, I'll show you a way to turn someone down and also turn down his tears. All you must do is speak like me, but maybe not dramatic to this degree. Say, I do not like you, no sir, I do not, but there is a hole over there so jump in to it and rot.

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  • Why can't girls simply be honest and not LIE to get the guy away? all you can do is simply say how he is a great guy but you're aren't interested into a relationship.

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    • I do have a boyfriend so currently it wouldn't be lying, me personally I don't want to hurt their feelings, nor do I want them to think I'm a bitch because I turned them down..

  • Be a woman and use your God given talent known as your filter mechanism. Tell him "Dude, sorry i am not interested" its that easy. I hang out with a lot of girls and they shut guys down harshly in front of me. It hurts to see it, but that's what makes you a strong woman. Just learn to say no.

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    • I'm a very strong person and I have to be I'm a single mom, but hurting peoples feelings isn't my thing and makes me feel horrible!!!

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    • Your NOT being a bitch by telling him your not interested. A real "bitch" is a girl who leads a guy on and then shuts him down later. Your a strong lady.

    • Well thank you for making me feel somewhat better... From now on most definitely won't use that one.

  • The best way is to be straightforward about your thoughts. You can use ignore techniques too.
    Like if he tries to be too close to you then you can just show you are uncomfortable.
    Or just do not be much friendly to any guy from start. This will make that guy realise that she is not easy for me.

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    • And hey... i read somewhere that you don't wanna feel like bitch for rejection? What?
      Why will one feel like that? This shows your loyalty to your boyfriend. Bitch is a different concept.

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    • A simple solution is... never become close to them so that message is clear.
      Even if they show feelings, you can gently reject them explaining why you can't be with him.
      You can say like " hey i always thought of you as a nice friend. Please understand my feelings too"
      Then leave the rest upon him.

    • Makes sense

  • just be straight forward and honest, tell the person with 100% honesty and sincerity that you're not interested.

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    • I was merely asking just to get others opinions on what they do... But have found I'm doing it completely the wrong way and have hurt their feelings more than intended.

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    • the uninteresting ones.

    • Haha.. thanks

  • I've used "i have a girlfriend" before and then when i did it to that girl this girl i was totally Into, that girl, me and 2 other people were talking and i was asked if i was seeing anyone and the girl said yeah 😭😭😭😭😭😭

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    • So it blew up in your face...

    • Exactly😓 i need to think of a new way to be nice, prob "i just dont feel that way about you"

    • Well from what people are posting you just say your not interested...

  • My middle finger makes that job easier for me.

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    • I give what I get 😜 actually it's better If it's harsh. Now as she has a better reason to hate me and she won't have second thoughts. And I'm bad at explaining why I don't like her.

  • I distance myself and they get the hint.

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  • The problem that alludes to though is that you're essentially saying "guys and girls can't be just friends". If a guy asks you out, and you say no, they're most likely going to stop being friends with you, ESPECIALLY because you have a boyfriend... and I thought guys and girls could be "just friends"?

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    • Well they can but most people don't like to be friend zoned

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    • Ok well I'm sorry:-(

    • For what, being an idiot?

  • Let's be friends.

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What Girls Said 9

  • BE BLUNT. You don't want to give mixed signals or be accused of being a tease. I tell men how I feel the moment I know how I really feel, if he's the one pursuing me. And I make it clear that my feelings won't change and that he's not going to convince me. I also explain to him that I don't want his friendship if he only wants to date. There's no point in letting them hang around with false hope.

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  • I tell them that i have too much going on and too much on my mind then act completely uattentive and uninterestive to make them think i'm a really emotionally unavaliable person lol they do try to chase me for a short time still but it doesn't last long because they start getting annoyed that i'm not being attentive of them whatsoever and they lose interest... lol.

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  • I use I have a bf which is always the truth but it doesn't work.. I've still gotten we can be friends though? And well your bf doesn't have to know. Eventually I just give up and I'll take their number like they insist then toss it in the trash or pretend to put it in my phone.. And my favorite one is while being hit on at a bar I just walk off mid sentence I'm over it. I hate being hit on most of the time it's annoying. It's flattering but annoying. Oh and I've had other people co workers be like nope dude she's good haha that was a funny one.

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    • Haha I did have one who was like I want to take you on a date and I said well I have a boyfriend he said he could come just sit in the corner of other side of restaurant.. Like that'd go over well...

    • Right like let me get right on that my bf will be fine with me going on a date haha right. Silly guys.

    • I know.. I work in the entertainment industry.. So it gets quite interesting

  • I've hung out with a few guy acquaintances... I think they thought we were dating... but I straight out let them know from the start I just saw them as a friend and nothing more. I didn't know it... but I've broken a few hearts as I've heard from a mutual friend... she told me they are still stuck on me... so now that I know that I don't even bother hanging out with a guy that may have an interest in me other than friends (although it's hard cause I can't tell)

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  • If I wasn't interested, he'd be lucky to get a one-word response out of me, verbal or online. I'd also find any way to avoid eye contact or seeing him in person.
    I'm not a good liar, so I usually just go the silent route haha.

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    • Silent treatment, I do that when someone pisses me off, but makes it more intriguing when someone thinks your hot!!

    • haha oh no, have I been doing this all wrong? The last thing I want to do is give people I'm not interested in false hope lol

    • It makes them think your playing hard to get...

  • I just say I'm not interested in dating right now.

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    • Bluntness I like it, but I guess I just don't want to completely bust his ego

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    • If you have a bf that's one thing, but if you don't just tell them the truth.

    • And your right...

  • It's not you it's me
    Let's be friends
    I am a lesbian

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  • Tell them in a nice way that your not interested , or just try to be his friend

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  • I usually say I'm not looking for anything right now and they get the hint

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