Is ignoring a girl after she rejects you acceptable?

When a girl rejects me I won't ever talk to her again, a woman friend of mine thinks that I'm being stupid and taking rejection too personally by doing that. But I have to disagree, why should I put time and effort into someone who isn't interested in me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Any woman who rejects you as a romantic partner, yet still wants to be friends, is playing games with you. It will only hurt you emotionally to stick around. She'll get attention, and you'll get frustration.

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    • I know pal. That's why I hit the ignore switch.

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    • Yeah so Mesonfielde, why should you be friends with a girl who rejected you?

    • You are jumping between extremes. Being friends with someone consentually is a "yes" for friendship, and "no" for romantic relationship. "Maybe" is just toying with someone's heart. Even if they reject you for romance, they can still be valuable as people. You don't cut guys out of your life for not dating you either, and you can see the importance of friendship relations with them. It's not gender-specific unless you make it so, but that's a limitation I'd rather not support.

What Girls Said 17

  • Acceptable? Well, technically you can do whatever you want to do. But is it rude and unnecessary? Yes. Unless she was mean to you and acted rude, I don't see any point in ignoring a person completely. So what, if she comes up to you afterwards and wants to talk to you like a normal person, you'd just look away and pretend that she's not there? Yeah, that's rude. And kinda pathetic, honestly. You're putting in just as much effort into ignoring her as you would if you'd just talk to her like a decent person.
    Also, girls are more than just potential love interests. Newsflash: you can have ACTUAL conversations with us even though we're not interested in dating you! Wow!
    Seems to me like you're just taking rejection way too personally. You're overreacting.

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    • If she comes to talk to me I wouldn't ignore her.

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    • I understand your point of view, she does seem to be trying to get me to talk to her. Like yesterday she walked over to the bin I was standing next to when there was a bin where she was. She has also come and stood next to me before without looking at me or making eye contact. So odd.

    • Yeah. Unless she talks first, you don't have to talk to her.

  • It depends on the manner in which she did it. If she was harsh, stay away from her. But if not, then don't take it personally. Just back off and start seeing other people, she might realize her feelings for you in the meantime and come back.
    Best of luck :)

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    • She was polite and asked me if I was alright.

    • Well then, I wouldn't just flat out ignore her! If you need a little space, just be kind and let her know. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you. Like I said, stop pursuing her and start seeing other girls. If she comes back to you, then it might work. But if not, just see other people. Get a MeetMe account; I was convinced to get one after a friend of mine showed me hers. I'd been mourning my ex for 5 months... Needless to say, I started seeing how true the phrase "there are other fish in the sea" was, and started thinking of my ex less and less and talking to others :) Just be safe on it though :)
      And PS- I'm not advertising, just helping lol

  • Rejection can hurt pretty badly, and it can lower one's self-esteem. So if you feel like ignoring her makes you feel better, then go for it!

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    • It doesn't make me feel better, it's just I don't see any point in being around her or speaking to her. She's not interested in me, so why should I show any interest in her.

    • That's right!! Why be around somebody who's not interested in you?

  • Depends. If it's a girl yuo hardly know or you don't see her often I don't see any problem with it. If it is someone you HAVE to interact with (e. g. a coworker) its kinda rude because you are just giving her a hard time. If it's a friend and you ignore her for not beeing attrackted to you, then your a shitty friend.

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    • I see her about here and there.

  • because just dropping someone out of your life completely, especially if they were once a friend, just because they didn't want to date you is an asshole move.

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  • i am not a fan of the silent treatment at all, so i'd say no but it happens all the time so i guess its acceptable

    i personally would just go on with my life and do my thing but i'd say hi or something if i saw them, i am not that rude

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    • I suppose I could say hello, I mean it won't kill me right?

  • If you two were friends first then you completely drop her when she rejects you it might hurt her feelings but you should cope how you need to

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    • We weren't friends.

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    • Attention whore with no regards to others feelings

    • Yes and that's why I'm ignoring her.

  • If she walked away then move on and don't waste your time with her. Move on and be happy , show her you dont need her

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    • I like your spirit and that's what I intend to do.

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    • Sorry, not intended for this opinion!

    • Pardon Sandy what are you referring too?

  • Why would you chase someone that Rejected you? I don't think your being mean or stupid, if I get rejected I wouldn't ever speak to that person again unless if they start chasing me and apologize too

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    • In fairness she has nothing to apologize for, I just don't see the point of lingering around someone who isn't interested in you. It's akin to a smelly eggy fart that just lingers in a particular area for a finite amount of time.

    • Well then ignore her, why are you so worried about it?

    • I am not I was intrigued, I am an inquisitive person.

  • Yes, I think it's totally fine. I'd ignore someone who rejected me, too.

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  • You are right, you shouldn't

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  • It's understandable but personally I think it's very childish. You've taken the time to get to know each other, maybe it was just a bad time, maybe she isn't over her ex, whatever the reason it's a bit of a toddler thing to do to stamp your little food and turn around because a girl said no.
    Girls can be more than a walking pussy you know.

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    • Point taken.

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    • That's a different question to the one you posed. I read through a couple of the comments and you said she was polite when she rejected you. Going with what you put in the question, this answer is fitting. Going with what you've just told me, your behaviour is more understandable.
      But I try and be the bigger person in most situations.

    • I wouldn't have chosen to ignore her and other women if they didn't make the aftermath of a rejection unbearably awkward. I get that a lot of women aren't going to be interested in me and that's cool, I am not arrogant enough to think that I'm God's gift to women, so while rejection hurts, I get over it and I am more than capable of being cordial. But women seem to have a bigger issue with rejecting guys than most guys do.

  • I'm in the middle. Awknowledge them if you run into them, but don't go out of your way.

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    • Only if she acknowledges me first.

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    • Oh well, tons of other people to talk to, right! :)

    • Yeah man, I don't know she's like that around me though lol.

  • I don't like it that happened with a guy before I wasn't ready for a relationship he got mad and ignored me

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    • What happened? Did you chase after him and pursue him over land and sea?

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    • He blocked me and wouldn't return my texts so I let him go

    • Yeah I don't blame you, but I'm pretty sure this girl doesn't like me, she probs thinks I'm butters and that's it.

  • Not really. if she rejected you, she probably doesn't want to speak to you anyway.. I wish more guys would do this, actually.. it's so awkward having to talk to guys who I've rejected.. and it's annoying too because they're still holding onto a glimmer of hope that they can somehow get out of the friendzone

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    • What's a friend zone?

    • friendzone is when a girl rejects a guy by saying "i don't like you in that way "

    • I see, so what's rejection then? I'm confused, I have never subscribed to this friend zone stuff as I don't bother with a girl once she has rejected me. I just act as though she doesn't exist.

  • Maybe she's insecure that's why she rejected u.. I'm one of the girls who would reject a guys first try to get with me, even if I had a super crazy crush on him.. try one more time and if she did it again then YES ignore her!

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    • Am I the only person who sees no logic in this whatsoever?

    • No logic, guys are lazy prideful creatures. Once rejected, that is it. Unless they are beta meles and linger around for false hope. Some girls and their stupid games. Waste of time when there are someone else more deserving out there.

    • Males* damn phone

  • Well, it depends. If it helps you move on, then yes I believe it is okay. However, don't be rude if she rejects you. I'd say ignoring is okay, if it makes you feel better. But if she tries talking to you, make sure you don't ignore her, pretend she isn't there, etc. But you're right. There is no reason to put time in effort for someone who won't do the same.

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    • She doesn't talk to me as she is shy and is incredibly intimidated by me. She saw me walking towards her and she dropped a load of pens on the floor, picked them up and then took off in the opposite direction.

      She seems like a weirdo.

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    • If she's walking away and she's not shy, then its just plain rude. You shouldn't bother if she's going to walk away when she see's you.

    • I've got no idea, I wasn't walking towards her to speak to her, I had to head in that direction to go to my next lecture.

What Guys Said 13

  • I think that if she's unbelievably rude in the way she says "no" then yes, I think it's ok to ignore her.

    I usually don't take a rejection personally, and I figure that just because she said "No" to a date doesn't mean I can't say "Hello."

    I never got the whole "It's girlfriend, family, or nothing!" idea. If you DO have women friends, then aren't you putting in time and effort into someone who isn't interested in you?

    I don't even look at a first (and only) date as a "waste of my time," even if I never see her again. I had coffee, it was good; I learned we weren't compatible, and I wish her the best. I put a small amount of time into something that... probably wouldn't pan out. I get not groveling, or putting energy into someone who is going to be toxic, but I don't get the idea of "Why bother putting in the time if it isn't going to immediately work out the way I want?"

    I've got a "friend" who barely speaks with me these days. She basically puts me off. It's disappointing, but I don't look at knowing her (years ago) as a waste of my time. It may be disappointing, and I may not get why it happened, but... oh well. Even if the friendship has fizzled, and I never see her again, she's never been a waste of my time.

    I am barely friends with most of the guys I hung out with 6 years ago. We'd spend hours playing Halo. I don't get to play Halo much, and I can't say I'm any better (or worse) for putting in the time. I don't speak with most of these guys... but I don't see any of that time as a "waste." It was a lot of time spent. It's one of my happiest memories - one I wouldn't trade.

    It takes a big betrayal for me to look at friendship (or getting to know someone) as not worth putting in the time.

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    • Valid points Dave, you've given me plenty of food for thought to digest.

  • I agree with you, when you asked her out and she said no, it told you she wasn't interested so why bother being interested in her anymore when you know for certain she's not into you. Its a waste of time and energy to give her anymore thought after that. Besides what would your friend propose to do instead? try to befriend her? keep crushing on her? nope when you get rejected you move on. Its as simple as that.

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    • She thinks I should be friends with her because she might want to get to know me better and might change her mind, but I am not interested in any of that shit.

    • she thinks, you wouldn't even know if thats true unless the girl says so, so your friend is just speculating. Its pointless to think about. Plus there are plenty of fish in the sea.

  • Perfectly acceptable. She wasn't obligated to date you, and you're not obligated to continue talking to whom you don't want to.

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  • If you're mad or hurt that they rejected you so you ignore them for a little while, that's natural and understandable.

    You don't have to go out of your way to socialize with them, but if you refuse to say another word to then ever again, you're probably being passive-aggressive and spiteful (like you're trying to punish them for rejecting you).

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    • She doesn't speak to me so why should I speak to her, I owe her nothing.

    • Who ever said you owe her something? It's understandable to spend some time not wanting to talk to her at all. But making a commitment to never say a word to a girl again just because she isn't romantically interested in you is spiteful and childish.

    • If she talks to me, I'll respond to her in a civil manner, but I won't go out of my way to talk to her.

  • Well technically if you can just cut them out of your life like that, then you never really liked them as a person anyways. So it's for the better, so that they can find someone who doesn't think of them as anything more than a potential sex object.

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    • Oh hardly, she turned me down, what am I supposed to do? Thank her for the experience? Kiss her ass and plead with her to friend zone my ass. Maybe I can visit her, pop on a dress and help her apply her make up. Best friends for life...

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    • Evidently...

    • I'm not being deceitful by liking someone as a person, but not seeing them as an eternal person I'd live in the same house with and live together with and have children with and yadeyadeyada. And if someone says they don't see me that way, nothin' I can do about it tbh. If they're cool enough, I'd keep them as friends, considering I shouldn't have been too interested if I didn't remotely appreciate their persona to begin with.

  • Oh, it's totally acceptable. Why keep a reminder around that you've been rejected? just next her and move on.

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  • I agree. Ignore anyone who says otherwise.

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  • You can still be friends with someone who doesn't fancy you! If you get on well then it's still possible to remain friends

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  • NO!!! You have got to show that girl that you are perfectly fine without her. Dont show weakness! It is also pretty childish if u do that and im 16 bro just sayin.

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  • Completely acceptable.

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    • I couldn't agree more, ignoring is just so easy and is clearly the best option.

  • You are right my friend.
    You are not obligated to be friends with her.
    She is acting bitch.

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  • It is, I do it...

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    • What do you do when that girl starts trying to get you to speak to her, do you just carry on ignoring her?

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    • So dont acknowldege her

    • I don't, I just find her behaviour to be akin to someone with a mental disorder.

  • Do whatever you want bro it's your life. Ignore her and make her feel shitty about herself.

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