Guys and girls, what's your opinion about this?

I fell in love with a guy who was a player. He said he is serious about me too, and that's why he is afraid one day he'd repeat his mistake again and hurt me, and is afraid to start a relationship with me.

I texted him just now, saying if he's willing to try to change, then I want to be with him. I told him every relationship has its risks.

How do you feel about this? And what would you do if you were me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you take what he says at face-value (I would not, but I'm keeping it simple here), then follow his lead. He's avoiding a relationship with you because he says he is afraid of hurting you, and he knows as he currently is, he will likely hurt you. If he can get past this, and get his mind to a place he can be a loyal, faithful man, then maybe someday down the road you two might have a chance at something.

    But, I doubt he's thinking that way. He's trying to bait you into a relationship where he gets to continue to be like he is, until he decides one day he is too old for all that. If you get with him now, you are giving him permission to act this way as long as he wants. In the beginning, the excuse will be it's early, and too early to fully commit to just you. Eventually, the excuse will be that you knew who he was when you started, and you knew what you were getting into. He hasn't changed, and doesn't feel he should have to because you already accepted who he is.

    Best to let him be a player, and try to find a man who is more compatible with your needs, wants, and expectations. If that means you're alone for a while, that's ok. Better to be alone than with someone who makes you miserable.

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What Guys Said 4

  • HUGE red flag if you ask me. What I got from that first sentence is obvious he is a player and he is using reverse psychology on you. He is lying straight to your face and ready to take advantage of you.

    If you do try to pursue then keep your heart locked up tight and you have to ask yourself if it is even worth it knowing there are going to be trust issues straight from the start.

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  • ... Why are you going for a player? He said he'd change? And you BELIEVED HIM?
    *facepalm*
    Date somebody else. Women like you are why many guys don't respect women, because they date the scum of the earth!

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  • Like moth to a fire.

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  • Easy - don't date him.

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What Girls Said 1

  • wll id say go for it. But do it cautiously. Don't just throw your whole heart into it right at the very start. Seeing as he might make a mistake and cheat. When you're confident that that won't happen then you can start giving your heart to him. Just be careful but have fun. Try not to get hurt. Good luck.

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