I fell in love with a guy who was a player. He said he is serious about me too, and that's why he is afraid one day he'd repeat his mistake again and hurt me, and is afraid to start a relationship with me.
I texted him just now, saying if he's willing to try to change, then I want to be with him. I told him every relationship has its risks.
How do you feel about this? And what would you do if you were me?
Most Helpful Guy
If you take what he says at face-value (I would not, but I'm keeping it simple here), then follow his lead. He's avoiding a relationship with you because he says he is afraid of hurting you, and he knows as he currently is, he will likely hurt you. If he can get past this, and get his mind to a place he can be a loyal, faithful man, then maybe someday down the road you two might have a chance at something.
But, I doubt he's thinking that way. He's trying to bait you into a relationship where he gets to continue to be like he is, until he decides one day he is too old for all that. If you get with him now, you are giving him permission to act this way as long as he wants. In the beginning, the excuse will be it's early, and too early to fully commit to just you. Eventually, the excuse will be that you knew who he was when you started, and you knew what you were getting into. He hasn't changed, and doesn't feel he should have to because you already accepted who he is.
Best to let him be a player, and try to find a man who is more compatible with your needs, wants, and expectations. If that means you're alone for a while, that's ok. Better to be alone than with someone who makes you miserable.0