Girls are blowing up his phone and he responds while with me, is this normal after 4 dates?

I've been dating a guy for 2 weeks, 4 dates so far (3 of which were sleepovers). We have been in contact every day through texts and phone calls. I told him I wanted to wait to sleep with him - he still tries during sleepovers, but is willing to wait.

Everything seems to be going well, he initiates everything and makes plans with me a week in advance etc. (next week we have plans for Tues, Wed, and Sat). He also doesn't want me to date others. All good signs.

However - since the start, he's been secretive about his phone. He slept over at my place yesterday and his phone was blowing up with messages, which he answered (obviously turning the phone away from me or taking it with him to the bathroom). Also, his phone rang at 1.30 AM, he didn't pick up and I said "I thought you said you weren't sleeping around", half jokingly (because we talked about that before). So he, after some silence, said "they want a ride home". Right...

I'm just worried that if we actually do get serious, he will always be looking for attention from other girls. Should I be skeptical or is this normal? Is he likely to stop if we get serious? What to do...

I should maybe add that I've also messaged guy friends while together with him, but I'm open about it and tell him what I'm writing, mostly... and not nearly as often as him.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • That isn't normal, and its downright rude. I'd be cautious.

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What Guys Said 1

  • He sounds like major bad news, for real. Proceed with a high degree of caution. My friend who is an absolute player engages in that sort of behavior all the time, then brags about it when women aren't around.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I'd be skeptical. It's a bit rude to respond to non-work texts while with someone you are getting to know... and the volume of such sketch texts is also worrisome

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  • Yeah that is kinda a warning bell in my mind. If he's not willing to show you that totally means he doesn't want you to see the messages he has been sending to others. I mean, lets be real, if he gets a call at 1:30am that is a booty call. Maybe reiterate and have another convo about wanting to be in a committed relationship. Has he told you straight to your face that he only wants to be with you and hasn't been seeing anyone else? And also, is he the kind of guy that is friends with lots of girls anyway, or just a select few that keep texting him? It's kinda a hard line because you don't want to come of sounding jealous... especially this early into your guys' relationship. But you need to set the boundaries early on to make sure you have a solid foundation in your relationship.

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    • I think he has a select few that he snapchats with. I asked him if he had had many one night stands and he said no. Apparently he's dated girls, slept with them, and then they just didn't get serious - so he could very well still have contact with these "booty calls". Yes, he told me he wasn't dating others or sleeping around (he said that because he thought I was doing it.) When I bring it up, he usually says "I don't know what kind of guy you think I am..." and he's told me many times he's "nice". But I dunno...:/

    • Yeah, I mean listen to your instincts. If you feel like something is off, it probably is. I mean he could just be lying to you in all honesty. Snapchat is the easiest way to send "those" kinds of pics because its gone in a few secs... just saying... so yeah I don't know maybe see how it goes the next few weeks. But defs proceed with caution and don't get too attached because he may end up breaking your heart.

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