I can't understand the dating game?

I'm approaching middle age and I really have a problem with dating. Just Dont understand the point of it. Perhaps it's just me, but all dating seems to be is going out for a meal, bowling or cinema - general awkward chit-chat finding out about the other person (or not). Kind of feels stuck between being friends and looking for a relationship. Not really sure how I should be although I try to be myself, which fails because the real me must frighten people away as I never hear from them again after date two or three. I try to follow guides and advice, be a gentleman, try not to talk about particular subjects.

Generally dating seems boring and I feel like I'm fishing around uncomfortably for a person to have a relationship with. What makes it more difficult for me is that I would like to meet someone and have a great time, have fun, be sexual, communicative and plan things. Trouble is if dating doesn't work, where else do I go. Really need help here as I'm getting to the point of seclusion and isolation


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If dating is boring, you certainly haven't met the right girl yet. ;) If you meet someone you have great chemistry with, it get your heart going and you can't stop thinking about them. Sounds like you need to flirt more if you're actually interested. :p I've only been single for a year and I'm exhausted, I know exactly how you feel!

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    • Generally I find it is the date that's boring, not the person. Kind of feel like I missed out getting the unwritten rulebook on dating. Seems everyone else knows, but no one will tell me.

      I'm not the best at flirting, quite frankly I Dont have a clue there either, so not food. Sometimes I just wish it would get to the point I'm looking for.

What Girls Said 2

  • There's this thing called sexual tension. The best dates have a lot of it. I'm not sure how to create it but without it most dates can get tedious. Just my personal experience though...

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  • sometimes you have to not call it a date, and do things you wouldn't ordinarily do so it doesn't start to feel like a date again. Get to know the girl on whatever activity you decide to do.

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What Guys Said 1

  • This is to your reply to xxjojoxxx: Maybe you should do just that. If you see the conversation dulling out just simply cut the bs of the date and talk about what you are looking for and then ask her what she is looking for. At that point you are cutting out dull conversation and getting to the root of what you are both looking for. Instead of dragging the dates on you give the casual date a shot and then you try something different. Sorry if I am not clear in my explanation, its just that I feel your pain when it comes to the dullness of what dating has become. Dating today is just so full of fake people so deciding to go against the current and just being yourself without fear or regret by just telling them straight forward what you are looking for has saved me a lot of time and has led to some very interesting conversations.

    "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
    -Albert Einstein

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