My boyfriend is a little bit older than me.. Is this okay?

I'm 19. And my boyfriend is 35. Is this okay? I've never been so happy before, we've been together for over 2 months. And we're so happy. I just sometimes worry people say bad things about it. Opinions?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Admittedly, when I think of "a little bit older," I imagine a year or two. However there's nothing wrong with the relationship, as long as you're both happy. I'm pretty sure the reason people say bad things about your relationship is because they believe that the age difference is too large to have enough things in common to have a healthy relationship, and if the reason for the relationship isn't because of mutual interests, then it's because of physical or tangible things. Naturally this isn't always true.

    As long as you're both happy and like each other for who you are, just tell the naysayers to go cry a river, build a bridge, and then get over it.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I tend to have a rule of 10 years max so I think its kind of creepy.

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  • its fine, just as long as you're happy. when I was 15 I was dating a woman who was 45 years old. so I think your age difference is acceptable.

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    • is that even possible? lol? You would look like her son in public

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    • I guess you can get away with it lol.

    • hahaha yes you can. just as long as you're happy, respected, and fulfilled. a relationship, or rather all relationships are about giving and growing with your partner.

  • The last thing you want to do is regret something that could have been avoided. If he is 35 and dating a 19 year old it might show signs of previous relationship failures on his part. Maybe he hasn't shown you who he really is. Be very careful. I'd suggest to stop and rethink.

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  • 2 months isn't a long time compared to any meaningful relationship, but if the feelings are genuine then so be it. If you're comfortable with it and he's generally an ok dude, then I don't see the issue.

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  • 2 months is not long enough for you to realise what a mistake this is. You will though, in time.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I would like to maybe put it in this kind of prospective for you.. when you were ten years old in 5th grade your boyfriend was most likely already done with college at age 26... The only thing to really be wary of in your case is that sure, people may talk about it, because 16 years is a pretty large age gap... but i'd be more worried about the fact that, because the gap is so wide, it may be difficult for you guys when you're discussing certain things, for example, your brain as is is still currently developing and growing synapses, you have a lot of time to learn about the world and different things, and in this case at your age, people grow and change and shift as it should be... but he won't change or shift anymore most likely. Look at your relationship from an outside perspective, if you're sister, brother cousin etc was in the same situation... what would you think?

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  • Dear, this is not okay. Trust me, I've been through that. When I was 18, I was foolish enough to believe that a relationship with a 30-year-old would function. I really liked him. In fact, he was probably one of the few guys I was crazy about.

    I asked all my close friends about it, pleading for their opinions so I would be able to make up my mind to whether or not I should do something about it. We never got into a relationship and I'm SO grateful for that.

    You two are in different stages of your life. It just won't work. He has technically lived his life and you're merely beginning yours. I know that you don't want to give ears to the people who council you right because since you like him so much and he makes you happy, you don't want to give that up. But trust me, dear, it's best if you so give that up. It'll be difficult because it was really hard for me to do so, but it's possible and it's also for the better.

    It wouldn't be a problem if you were in your mid-twenties because at least you'd be in a closer experience spam to his. But you're far too young and you have yet to experience many things. A 35-year-old is wishing to settle down and that's not the same mentality a 19-year-old possesses.

    I urge you, don't continue with this. The longer you linger on the matter, the harder it will be to let it go. Yet bear in mind one thing: the hardest things to do are usually the right ones.

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  • It just depends on his intention and if you look ridiculously young and he's a fat old tubby, I'll be questioning the sight of you two together, in public. :P

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  • I wouldn't like that but who am I to judge

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