How shallow are you when seeking attraction online?

In person I like to think that I'm not a shallow guy and that many girls are attractive or at least have many redeeming qualities about them. I could look at a crowd of girls my age and be attracted to the majority of them. Maybe 11 out of 20.

But then I decided to play around with the quickmatch feature on OkCupid. You can either "Like" a girl or "Pass" on her, and her pictures and essays are shown to briefly skim over. All of these girls were local and in my age group.

The first girl was very, very overweight. I passed. The second girl had a very unfortunate face. I passed. The third girl looked like a guy with long hair and makeup. I passed. After viewing about 40 profiles, there was a total of 6 girls that I ended up "Liking". That's 15%, compared to my roughly 55% approval of girls in person.

Maybe lesser attractive girls resort to online dating? That's a possibility. But I did find it easier to be picky about another human being online just by looking at her picture and reading snippets of her bio. The nature of this form of interaction seems very shallow.

Are you the same way? Indifferent? Maybe you are less picky online than in person?


Most Helpful Girl

  • "Maybe lesser attractive girls resort to online dating?", yes. and yes the idea is shallow.

    having a relationship with your opposite/same sex is not something you can have through online dating, or maybe better saying this way it is not slightly near to an ideal way of meeting someone for dating and relationship.
    to date someone you have to know him enough first and in the real life not on the internet, and mostly people who can't have a good social life will attend it. in some cases some people who have hopes that maybe something special happens and they meet someone special or have someone who's maybe financially good fall for them or something. I had a friend who was in a dating site for fun not for serious dating and an Indian rich man wanted her to be his mistress, so there are these kinds of cases too but are rare, and mostly people in there are ones who can't meet people in real life for any reason.


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What Girls Said 2

  • All you have to go on is her photo. You have no idea if the words written on her page are true. The only "fact" to be found is whether or not the person in the photo is physically attractive to you. Even if you're not that kind of person to judge on looks alone, you know in the back of your mind that the profile you're looking at could be a farce. So subconsciously, you've already made your decision before you even read a single word.

  • I don't categorize people. People are people for me. You don't like their appearances. Maybe they will not like yours either.

    I have no idea about online dating. Only thing I can assume, you first pay attention to their looks. But this is not enough to decide on someone. You have to speak with them. Personality is more charming for me.


What Guys Said 2

  • Online dating is pretty much all on physical features and little on what you wrote down on your profile. For guys, and me at least, on tinder or okcupid i would see if the girl in the picture is pretty or not and then look at her profile and THEN i message her. But i feel like it is the physical features first that people tend to look for. unlike at a normal social scene where two people can meet and get a feel for each other's energy and like them based on how they feel about each other and not just only looks. So yes, I believe most people on dating sites are pretty shallow. How else can you be? An average girl probably gets hundreds of messages a week from guys, she can't get to know all of them one by one, so obviously she must choose the ones she finds attractive.

  • We're all 'shallow' to a certain extent, especially when it comes to online dating. Anyone can write a generic description of themselves to try and match up with someone, but the idea of beauty is generally the same. A symmetrical face, clear smooth skin, curved eye brows, 7:10 hip to waist ratio is generally what us men look for, and is meant to ensure a healthy offspring. Now as to the types of women that use online dating websites; I would have to agree, are typically below average. Unlike their more beautiful counterparts they must make a much greater effort to meet men. At first glance I do judge women by how they look, then I look at compatibility. But there have been instances where this was reversed.