What is a fear that you have you in a relationship?

I'm really scared of commitment and the L word both scare the hell out of me! What are yours?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I guess I fear the breakdown of my relationship. You invest a lot of lovr time, effort and money in a long relationship so if it does go wrong its a huge loss of all those things, especially time, which you can never get back.
    On the poditive side if it was a goid relationship in the main, you will always have your memories.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I'd be in the same shoes as yours but I never lose hope, I never give up and so I modified my thoughts and perceptions ;) :D

    However, the one thing that scares me in a relationship (scare isn't the word but it's not in good taste) is 'insecurity' and everything related to it that we fondly and gladly term 'because I love you' - sheesh it's a sham to do so (now starts the brick batting lol)

    Commitment and love are again a matter of perception for me young lady. I look at these in a different way than most of us do :)

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  • But your answer didn't really answer anything -- you just changed the wording. Of course if someone's scared of a relationship they're scared of commitment! :)

    My fears is getting involved with someone who isn't a long-term match, notably when things happen too fast. That is why I will fear commitment. But then again, you don't need to be serious BF/GF to for the most part commit. If you start seeing someone, they'll drop you like a bad apple if they see/find out that you were kissing or engaging with someone else.

    It's a fear that you won't be able to experience others. At all. And you'll Only be with them. That's. It. That part of it seems like a loss. That's why people will fear an LTR. It closes things off.

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    • I fear when things get a little more serious is that better or when there's a little bump in the road I start to push away when I know I shouldn't.. It's more of a defense and protection wall that I need to quit doing. Is that a better answer?

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    • It does make one more vulnerable. If things happen too fast between you and a guy -- it actually may not be such a bad idea for that to kick in. But if things go smoothly at a smooth pace and you have strong feelings and he expresses his -- things shouldn't get in the way.

    • Thank you and I think your right.. Your very knowledgable!

  • I'm jaded to it but girls just disappearing out of nowhere. Many girls have seemed into me very much and then out of nowhere they don't talk to me anymore. Happens all the time so I kinda go in expecting that to happen. I get asked why I am not with anyone and I don't have an answer.

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    • So your in a relationship and they just quit talking..

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    • Yea it leaves 0 closure. I technically did it myself to one girl but we weren't even dating. She was just extremely clingy.

    • Yea if someone is clingy especially fast it'll send me running... And not so much later

  • I'm scared of going into a relationship
    fear she either falls of love with me, dies
    from a terminal illness, she cheats on me

    P. S.. I know this guys was with his
    first wife for 15 years she did everything
    with her ex-husband but lived with him
    he met this woman 2 years ago the
    relationship was great she just all
    sudden took sick and she passed away
    just week ago and this guy works holds
    a jobs done , very nice guy.

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  • Scaring her aeay by being too emotionally open... lots of emotionally damaged females out here these days.

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    • Sorry to hear about that Asker. *hugs*

      Mr. Gamma as well as myself are two dudes of a dying breed that genuinely care about and empathize with women.

    • Aww thanks it is what it is I put his ass in jail but thank you for hugs hehe and he's you are

  • I'm not scared of commitment, or the L word, because my GF and I are very much in love. But the best thing about our relationship is the space we have... whenever we out with friends, we don't feel the need to be around each other constantly, so we hang with different people, but every once in a while get jiggy ;)

    I think I'm most worried about doing/say something wrong to her that might possibly cause us to break up - but I'm working on it.

    We've been together for 3 months now.

    I've been in a much longer relationship before, but this one makes me feel so happy and secure it's unbelievable... the first night we met we could both feel something VERY special together.

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    • Awww that's awesome, and when you get angry just walk away...

    • I haven't gotten angry at her... I've been angry with myself most of the time... but I either tend to change the conversation or ask her for some time :)

    • Well that's good

  • That Ill knock a girl up.

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  • The most common crime: emotional cheating.

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    • Very common your right, I think we've all been guilty of that one. Don't know why someone would do that to you ;-)

    • It almost seems like too much to ask your partner not to. I'll take that as a compliment. ;-) But I'm just one flavor among many

    • Agreed and yes it was a compliment... Hehe you said flavor. Lol I'm the vanilla flavor

  • I'm not afraid of commitment at all. I'm mostly worried about being cheated on. After what I've seen happen to my friends I'm convinced the majority of women are cheaters, plus open relationships seem to be more of a thing than they were before. I' starting to become pretty disillusioned with finding the right person.

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    • Sucks when we see things that aren't the best we start to fear that all of them are going to be like that

  • I fear not loving her anymore, leaving her for someone else, & hurting her.

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    • Have you ever left a girl for someone else?

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    • Completely agree even though it's easier said than done. And hmm very interesting... Although we should be thankful all times of year

    • yes, jesus gave a clear example of this. before jesus raised lazarus from the dead, he made a prayer and then said "father, I thank you that you have heard me". joy comes from being thankful.

  • Being together for 5 years to wake up one day, and no longer be in love with her.

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  • apart from unwanted pregnancy, nothing really

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  • I have none anymore.

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    • Well that's a good thing yes?

    • Neither I guess. I have no expectations as nothing surprises me anymore and frankly I don't care. I move on pretty quickly these days. People suck if you have not noticed.

    • Haha super agreed

  • Girlfriend cheating on me.

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    • Happened before?

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    • I hope so and the same to you. :)

    • I've been cheated on a couple but thank you! :-)

What Girls Said 15

  • My fears are probably just my feelings being unreciprocated and me being left to look like a fool, or being cheated on. Nothing worse than someone who you've become a little bit emotionally invested in choosing someone else over you, regardless of what their excuse may be.

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  • I have several fears, such as: not becoming intimate mentally or physically fast enough for him, being cheated on, being settled for (not being someone's first pick), being tossed aside from someone shinier, having my sexual preferences judged.

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  • I fear growing cold. I believe that once the relationship reaches the end of the honeymoon phase, the real deal really starts. You're used to one another, hopefully comfortable with each other, you know almost everything about their lives, and that leaves a lot of room for people to just grow cold when it comes to their feelings and eventually, those feelings disappear.

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    • Hmmm agreed I'm in that situation right now... Doesn't help he's 2 1/2 hours away

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    • I like that @sawno

    • I couldn't agree more! :) and I'm glad! x

  • him liking other girls cause that means he no longer loves me. i made him promise me that if he one day happens to crush on some girl, he should break up with me or at least tell me so we can figure something out :/

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  • to waste my time with the wrong person

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  • I have no fears about commitment really. Well i am thinking what could be a problem. A person without intimacy maybe. Because you can not pass that wall if he doesn't allow.

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  • I'm scared of feeling restricted/on a leash. I need my independence and clingy or controlling partners are not something I have time for.

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  • That he'll get really attached and starts thinking we'll be together forever when I want to be free, experience others and the world while I'm young. Having that problem with my current boyfriend.

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  • My girlfriend, well I guess fiancee is more appropriate at this point haha, is bisexual, so I am always scared that she might develop feelings for a boy._.

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  • Being cheated on, for sure.

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  • Getting into a long term relationship with someone and then like, 4 years into it, finding out they've been cheating the entire time.

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  • that he won't be loyal for long

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  • Cheating, using me, commitment, and I can say love too

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  • I'm scared that I might give too much of myself.

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  • I'm wih you on that

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    • Thank goodness I'm not alone hmm maybe reason I haven't gotten past 9 months.. Plus I get bored

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    • Me to doesn't help when you've been extremely hurt I know everyone has had their share of hurtful times.

    • Mhmm it really does. Then you meet someone you like and won't share your feelings with him
      I feel like it may be easier to be with someone you aren't in love with and just "love"
      You know?

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