Dating an independent woman - any advice?

I've been out a few times with this woman who is a self-proclaimed "independent woman." Someone who wants a boyfriend but doesn't "need" one - she has her own life and her own friends and doesn't seem to be the type to hang out every night (at least not at first).

Any of you girls like that? Maybe busy with career or mostly-content with your life and schedule, and just finding a way to make a boyfriend "fit" into your life? Any advice on how to handle a relationship with a woman like that?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yup, I can help you with this one. She will let you know when/if she needs help. Dont assume she does. If you arnt sure, ask. Dont be clingy she will be turned off. In case you dont know what clingy is (lets face it some people dont). Its texting, calling too often, and being too needy as in "I want to see you". Especially if she just saw you the day before. She will need you for some things and try and be there for those things, of course if your schedule permits. Consider yourself lucky you dont have to do much. Whenever in doubt don't assume, ask. She won't be the girl who has to talk to you everyday and know where you are every second of the day and she will expect that you not grill her about where she's been and why she didn't answer when you called. If you call and she doesn't answer, she saw the call and she will call you back. Unless there's a life threatening emergency do not call her again and again of said initial call. This type of person will dismiss you if you are not in some way enriching her life. Things are looking good for you though, since you too have been out a few times... it means she will make time for the right person and that she quite possible likes you. Its its great that you posted the question to get some feedback as to how to handle this type of person. This shows you care and are willing to learn how to make it work. If she doesn't see that you are awesome then its her loss! Good luck with Ms. Independent!

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    • Very nice! You're exactly right on most of your points. We have a great time on dates and then she sorta disappears in between. This week she was too busy to go out (she had a friend in from out of town), so I just tried to reach out every few days so she didn't completely forget about me. Is that a good strategy? I definitely am concerned about the clingy factor.

    • I think you are doing pretty good and don't need to worry about being clingy since you understand that you should show signs of life every few days as appose to every 5 minutes. If this type of arrangement is ok with you, I don't foresee any problems. . I personally think less is more and absence makes the heart grow fonder. This type of arrangement allows you to have your own life and not alienate your friends.

      Im sure you may have noticed if one of your friends gets into a new relationship you may never hear from them again... until the relationship dissolves, then they are back and suddenly have time for you. Which makes no sense to me since your friend has been there for years and this new significant other just popped into the picture. This new person hasn't proven their worthiness but yet gets all your friends time? I feel like in this type of situation you have a lot of flexibility to lead your own life while still keeping your friends close etc.

    • Thanks for the MHO!

What Girls Said 2

  • damn! this kind of women is very difficult to get dude.. you should be at least of the same level as her so that you could gain her interest

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    • Well, I think I've gained her interest - we've made out a few times. I'm just used to going out with girls that are kinda clingy (for lack of a better word) - always looking to go out and talk a lot. This girl isn't like that at all - she does her own thing most of the time. And it's hard to tell if she's happy dating me or not.

  • Just let her set the pace for the relationship... It should be a fun experience for you so just relax and make the relationship fun.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Meet her through an interest, say jogging, reading, a specific movie, there are many ways to start a conversation opener, that is the first wedge needed just to barely enable you to establish contact.

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  • just be yourself bro. dont let her independence intimidate you, women dont like that. remember that she chose you as her man for a reason

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