I'm dating a guy and I pay for most of the dates, is that ok? :(?

The guy doesn't make me pay but I just offer to pay for the both of us at times cause we go to pricey restaurants and I know the guy doesn't have that much money and I'm more able to pay. Guys do you not like it when girls pay? Am I doing the wrong thing?:(


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, if he makes less money than you, and you are able to pay, then it is absolutely alright for you to pay. There is no need to be guilt-ridden over this.

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    • Thanks so much for your advice! It's just everyone keeps telling me about these dumb rules where a girl should never pay and stuff. Makes me feel guilty :/

    • Pay no attention to gender roles and what society says is "right". The only right is what you and your boyfriend agree on. Whether that is you paying for the expensive dine outs and him getting the check at Moe's, or him doing the laundry and you cutting the grass, society does not determine what is right in your relationship. That is up to you to decide.

What Guys Said 6

  • No, not at all. Just don't ever show him down.
    Do 1 thing. Tell him that you like paying for him and that makes you happy and makes you feel special. In this way, he won't feel bad making you pay and will be happy too.
    And tell him that, if he really wants to pay, pay you the care of his :)

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  • Yes, you are doing the wrong thing. You are setting yourself up to be used. He is already, I have a hard time ever letting another pay for the date.

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  • Guys don't like it when girls treat guys. Heck, guys don't even like it when the girls refuse to let us pay for them and wants to split the bill!

    Honestly I think it's fine if both parties admit that dating is currently a tad too expensive for both of them. And they help each other find ways to save money and make dating affordable. I've discussed this with girls before, and we opted to go someplace cheap or eat fast food instead.

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  • Back in the day, guys paid for everything. Now , you have womens lib, equality, and the crappy economy changing the rules. The guy might have had his pay cut, or put on part time. If the girl wants to go to pricey restaurants, and wants to pay, fine. Whatever makes the couple feel good and gets the job done. Otherwise, you would have to stay home. I don't feel bad if the girl wants to pay, or made more money than me that week.
    We get to be together.

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  • Why is this an issue? You don't seem off put by it? Most guys wouldn't care. I don't see this as a problem at all.

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    • Thanks so much for your advice! Cause everyone keeps telling me like a girl should never pay because the guy will not respect you :/

    • Yeah, it's not a big issue. It does tell you something about that man if you're wise enough to listen. However, that respect thing is nonsense. Good men respect women regardless on whomever pays for a meal. If anything, a good guy will empathize and want to chip in.

  • Guys typically pay most of the time because it is a wawy of being chial.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think if you guys are just dating, you each should cover your own cost. He's trying to live above his pay roll by going ti fancy restaurants he knows he can't afford. I don't think he has a problem admitting he has money issues as you know he isn't able to pay a lot. I say just choose less expensive places. When I first started seeing my current boyfriend I'd offer but he never let me. When he was low on cash I offered to take him out and we had great times. Choose things to do that don't require you two to spend a lot of money and just enjoy each other's company

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  • He knows you are gonna be paying.. and yet he never complains about going to pricey places, its a shame and he's a free loader. He should help you split the bill or just ditch him without paying the bill :)

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  • This is free loading he should at least pay half or you need to go to less-expensive reastaurants

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