First interracial dating experience. Trying to be open minded?

Ok I just moved to Cali and for the first time ever was approached by a white guy. I don't know if he was flirting or just having a convo until he gave me his card and offered to show me around. First date was great. Dinner and a movie. He's in his early thirties so he's over the party scene. I'm in my late twenties and I am too. Have great conversation, he opens doors, carries my things, and tonight for our second date asked if it was ok for us to take pics together lol. The only issue is he can't keep his hands off me. I normally wld catch an attitude about it but I'm trying to be understanding about it. I just think its too early for all that. I never dated someone so infatuated with my body shape. Mainly my boobs. Which is great I wld want my man to be. Is it to early for him to be acting lime this? Is he just trying to experiment?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • What touching does he do? He touched your privates and breasts? If so then I'd say, it's a wee bit too early... Second date, second base? I'd be careful. But if he's just being the touchy guy, then I wouldn't worry too much.
    Letting him wait a really long time show you, how much of his intention is sexual and how much beyond that. As a side-note: Every man at every time has sexual intentions, the question is rather, which intention is the strongest...
    You may or may not be the no-sex-before-marriage type, but at least letting him wait an "appropriate" time will reveal his plans quickly.

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    • Just to add that: Interracial dating is anything but a huge deal. I'm married with a woman from China while I'm from Europe/Middle East. The differences in culture are small and rather an issue of how to organise a life together. Relationships on the other hand work the same way everywhere.

What Guys Said 10

  • Wow you seem to be really new to the whole dating a white guy thing. Understand that it don't really matter the race people are either very upfront and open or reserved and shy. Clearly he's not that shy or to reserved but his obvious touching is a big sign that he's in to you. If anything your the one experimenting he is the comfy one because he probably has dated the rainbow as to you are kind of new. The question really is do you think that you are developing feelings for him and do you like his touching of you?

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    • I just think its too early to be all over me like that. Normally I wld just tell him to chill. But I'm not trying to be rude because I like the guy. Maybe he's used to that idk.

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    • this will allow you to feel comfortable with the pace and at the same time not make you feel easy or cheep witch i think is your true concern. It will also allow him an understanding of what you want in the relationship and keep him at a higher standard of respect for you.

    • Thank you.

  • I can't say much about his intention without knowing him. I personally wouldn't touch a girl like that so early on. I think it might send the wrong "I just want to fuck you" message like you're thinking he may. Of course he could always be patient by not touching you and still just want sex so it's hard to really know. Just keep getting to know him so you can understand him better and tell him you don't want to touch (sounds like that's your issue) so much early on if you're not comfortable. You look really nice; I can see why he would want to touch you. If he doesn't work out there will be a lot of others. Lol @ his card. Trying to impress you :p

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  • There's not enough information to say whether he's experimenting with a black girl, or playing yet another girl (regardless of her skin color), or has little recognition for personal boundaries, or what.

    I recommend that you take sexual relations off the table for a few months to give yourself enough time to get a feel for who he is and what his intentions are. Don't let him sweet-talk you into sexual relations until he has made it through your waiting period. If he sticks around for a few months without sexual relations, then I think he will have proven to your satisfaction that he is serious about the relationship. At that point, you can put sexual relations on the table, if you wish.

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  • This sounds like more of a "touchy guy and a more reserved girl" thing than it does a "white dude experimenting with his first black girl" thing.

    If I were you I'd just tell him that you like him a lot, but you want to slow down with the touching. No big deal. :-)

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  • He is clearly attracted to you, just be careful and take it slow. He could very well be just looking to score. If you aren't comfortable with his actions, say so. He seems to be moving too fast for your taste.
    It doesn't sound like he is moving on the fast track of wanting a relationship and locking you down. Rather like he is trying to lick you down for the score. Be careful, he could be a player.

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  • There's no real time frame, just more of when it feels right? If you don't like it right now then nows not the right time vise versa

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  • that's pick up. he is doing everything to keep you and all this little things is how much he wants you and appreaciates. touching is big fact. just don't have sex in under 1 month of knowing and get his things going. I think he is really trying his luck with a girl of the other "colour" aswell.

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  • Is this bullshit? Or are you serious about the body shape?

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    • Lol yeah I'm serious. Most guys want me to be thicker with a bigger butt. So they act pretty blas-say. So yeah its definitely a different reaction for me.

    • No homo but you sound pretty hot so go get that h2o

  • it was at my 20. İ was a student in a foreign country. and i was with a russian girl..

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  • He wants some of that caramel goodness.

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What Girls Said 4

  • stop trying to understand him and MAKE HIM understand. you say you'd normally "catch an attitude" (standing up for yourself isn't catching attitude or being a bitch) so dont bitch up now cuz you got a white guy lol.. if you dont feel comfortable with him touching you move his hands and let him know

    more than likely he's looking for a quick thrill b/c what guy who is truly interested in getting to know a woman right off the bat would be touching and trying to grope on the 2nd date? a guy needs to respect you and you have to respect yourself by only letting things happen that ur comfortable with. dont continue seeing a guy who crosses ur boundaries

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  • Tell him that although you are enjoying his company, you don't enjoy being mauled and pawed by him. You don't know him well enough for him to do it and you don't think it's appropriate. Sounds like a bit of a creep to be honest.

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  • Its California trust me no experiment he probably finds you attractive be flattered if you feel uncomfortable yoy are in control to tell him dude you know I really don't like this lets slow it down

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  • Yes it is kinda early, maybe he was just trying to see how you would react.

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